Talk:SMS Admiral Spaun

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:SMS Admiral Spaun/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 17:43, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

I’ll take this one. Courcelles (talk) 17:43, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

• For the lead, does she have a class, or was she unique?

  She was a standalone ship, though her design greatly influenced the Novara-class which came after her, to the point that some writers state that they were one and the same (they weren't).

• Two sentences out of three in a row start "Throughout the rest of 1915"

  Repetition like that is always a pet peeve of mine. Good catch! I've that and a bit of the second paragraph of the lead, hopefully for the best.

• "Admiral Spaun served as the flotilla leader of the Second Torpedo Flotilla at the outbreak of World War I and was stationed out of the naval base at Cattaro." Given the war started before 1915, this should likely be moved up a little.

  Moved earlier up in the lead.

• " sunk by the motor torpedo boat MAS-15 on the morning of 10 June. " Should specify which navy MAS-15 belonged to.

  MAS-15 was an Italian boat. I've clarified that.

• "10 battleships of various types" Don't mix number formats in a sentence.

  Should I spell out "68" as well?

• Trieste should be wikilinked at least once in the lead and once in the body.

  Done.

• "6 submarines" Watch MOS:NUM issues.

  Replaced with "six"

• "121,000,000 Krone" Wikilink unfamiliar currencies

  Krone was the currency Austria-Hungary used before WWI. Added that link in the article.

• "320—327" You've got an emdash there. You want an endash.

  Good catch.

• "of each ship" We're only talking about one ship here...

  Typos from a previous article. I copied the format for talking about the specifics from my previous work on the Novara-class ships. Replaced the necessary info, but left out the need to make things singular!

• "Admiral Spaun was protected by a waterline with an armored belt which measured 60 mm (2.4 in) thick amidship." By a waterline?

  Should say "protected at the waterline by..." Fixed.

• "each ship" again in the armor section...

  Fixed.

• "remain high throughout the war." Remained.

  Fixed.

• " Easter Mediterranean"

  My favorite holiday! Fixed.

• "The Navy subsequently ordered Admiral Spaun and Aspern, which had been stationed in Constantinople. " Sentence fragment

  Fixed.

• " a totla of seven battleships"

  Fixed.

• " on to campomarino where" Caps problem

  Fixed.

• "against the Italians in the Adriatic, though her mechanical problems prevented her from engaging in the same number of raids and sorties as the Novara-class cruisers.." Double full stop.

  Fixed. Also split into two sentences because I felt like it was a bit long. Feel free to revert if you think the previous sentence I wrote sounded better.

• "Admiral Spaun the pre-dreadnought battleship" Missing a comma

  Fixed.

• Watch the rules for when the hyphens are used in "Novarra-class cruiser" versus plain "Novarra class" and all the other classes mentioned.

  I have seen so many people give me conflicting information over which is the proper use. I've decided to make all mentions include the hyphen because removing it would take far more time than adding it in (it would also entail editing a lot of templates in the article too). I'm still not sure which version is supposed to be used in an article however.

• Lots of niggles, but nothing too major, I don't think. Placing on hold. Courcelles (talk) 19:15, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

• Thanks for the review! Will get to these issues as soon as I can.--White Shadows ^{Let’s Talk} 20:51, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

  No hurry! Courcelles (talk) 21:15, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

  Made edits for every point you brought up, and replied above. Please let me know if there's anything else!--White Shadows ^{Let’s Talk} 23:06, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

• massive ref error going on between refs 18 and 19. Fix that, and we're ready to promote, I do think. Courcelles (talk) 05:21, 9 August 2018 (UTC)

• Fixed. There was a "pp" in place of just "p" for one of the citations, which led to the error.--White Shadows ^{Let’s Talk} 14:35, 9 August 2018 (UTC)

  Okay then, promoted. Courcelles (talk) 15:05, 9 August 2018 (UTC)

ENGVAR

This article appears to have been started in British English. Is there a reason it was changed? --John (talk) 10:18, 28 August 2018 (UTC)

• The article should likely be entirely in British English, but as an American it can sometimes be difficult to write in British English.—White Shadows ^{Let’s Talk} 12:54, 28 August 2018 (UTC)

Thanks. --John (talk) 07:23, 29 August 2018 (UTC)

@John: would you be interested in helping me convert the article over to British English?--White Shadows ^{Let’s Talk} 01:16, 30 August 2018 (UTC)

Done. --John (talk) 10:05, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

CV

Id: 863215745301 Name:Jonathan Mpendulo Prince 41.121.73.213 (talk) 16:18, 15 December 2023 (UTC)