Talk:Rudy Huxtable/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:25, 15 March 2018 (UTC)
- Grabbing this for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 19:25, 15 March 2018 (UTC)
- Absolutely :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:03, 15 March 2018 (UTC)
- Lead and infobox
- Please include ALT text for the infobox image.
- For this part (after auditions had been opened to girls as well), I would remove “as well” as it is not really necessary.
- Done, removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:49, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- This sentence (Having originally been opposed to the idea of featuring young children, young girls in particular, appearing on the show because he feared they would be difficult to work with, Cosby was initially more hesitant to cast Knight Pulliam due to her young age – she was only four-years-old when she auditioned for the role – but was ultimately impressed by her maturity and ability to memorize her lines, subsequently writing the character into a younger, female role.) is so long. I would cut the sentence down and into two to better present the information to the reader.
- Revised.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:49, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (By season two, Cosby began entrusting the actress and her character with more mature material.), I would remove the “and her character” part. I am not sure if entrusting the character makes sense in this context, and the focus should be kept on the actress more so.
- I see what you're saying, "and her character" removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:49, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- For this sentence (Rudy was inspired by Cosby's own youngest daughter Evin.), I would remove “own”.
- I would revise this sentence (However, critics have observed that Knight Pulliam's once-reliable "cuteness" began to falter and grew less funny towards the show's latter seasons as both the actress and her character aged, during which time actress Raven-Symoné was added to the cast in the role of Olivia Kendall, Rudy's step niece.) as it is rather long. I would suggest separating this sentence into two.
- Role
- Please include Keshia Knight Pulliam in parenthesis and linked after the first mention of Rudy in this section.
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Creation and casting
- For this part (In fact, Cosby was originally opposed to the idea), I am not sure that the “In fact” is needed.
- Agreed, removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (as a young boy who particularly idolized his older brother Theo), I would remove “particularly” as it is not needed.
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- I would revise this part (When it finally came time to cast his television children,) to (When casting his television children,) to be more concise.
- Revised.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (When it finally came time to cast his television children, Cosby originally insisted that none of the candidates be younger than 10 years-old due to challenges he had experienced working alongside child actors prior, warning the producers "We'll be shooting for the rest of our lives if we have a little kid!”), I would make this section (warning the producers "We'll be shooting for the rest of our lives if we have a little kid!”) into its own sentence.
- Revised.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Portrayal
- Do you think that adding a more modern image of Knight Pulliam to this section would be helpful as she talks about growing up on the show.
- You know, I've thought about it? But I don't think it's ALL THAT necessary; people usually identify with Rudy from the first three seasons of the show anyway, which is already depicted in the infobox.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Link Ebony.
- I would add the year in which "Night Time is the Right Time” was released.
- Characterization
- For this sentence (The words "precocious" and "adorable" are often used to describe the character during her earliest appearances.), I would bundle the references together into a single reference to avoid having so many references at the end.
- The “Turner Classic Movies” part needs to be linked here instead of the “Reception” section.
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Link biography.com.
- I would rephrase this part (Rudy's pigtails are considered to be a signature characteristic of hers) to (Rudy's pigtails are considered to be her signature characteristic).
- Revised.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (based on misguided advice he learns from his unseen elder brother.), the references need to be put in the correct order.
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Reception
- The “Raven-Symoné” link needs to be moved up to its first appearance.
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Do you need so many citations for this part (becoming the youngest actor to receive a nomination in the history of the awards ceremony, at the age of six.)?
- Revised, only two remain.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- I think that Daily Mail has been considered unreliable.
- Removed source and associated statment.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- I would separate the final paragraph into two paragraphs, with the second paragraph starting with this sentence: (Over two decades after The Cosby Show ended, Rudy remains the role for which Pulliam is best-known.).
- Agreed, done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Final comments
- Great job with this. Once my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to promote this. You always inspire me to do keep working on here, and I always appreciate your work. Aoba47 (talk) 03:26, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Welp, I think that's everything. Thanks for taking on yet another one of my articles for review haha I know how tasking it can be; it's always a pleasure. Let me know your final verdict.--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:04, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
- Verdict
- Thank you for addressing everything! I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 22:11, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.