Talk:Ronnie Wallwork/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by AMBerry in topic GA Review
GA Review
editI'll be reviewing this article at some point today, any additional comments from other reviewers are welcome. -AMBerry (t|c) 12:37, 7 September 2008 (UTC)
Comments
editLead:
- "United loaned out Wallwork to Carlisle United, Stockport County and Royal Antwerp." sounds a bit choppy to me, possibly link this sentence to the following one (i.e. ...Royal Antwerp, where he was banned from football...)?
- Amended this one. Peanut4 (talk) 20:11, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- I've re-jigged it further, please let me know what you think (or if Peanut4's edit was better I'll go with that... whichever really) --Jameboy (talk) 23:21, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- To be honest, I much prefer yours. Peanut4 (talk) 23:28, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- Seconded. -AMBerry (t|c) 09:55, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
- I've re-jigged it further, please let me know what you think (or if Peanut4's edit was better I'll go with that... whichever really) --Jameboy (talk) 23:21, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
Manchester United
- The opening sentence on Wallwork's loan spell at Antwerp could possibly do with rephrasing, at the moment it doesn't quite sound right.
- Because of the two relative clauses? Changed it around, let me know if it's OK. --Jameboy (talk) 23:00, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- Sounds much better now, thanks. -AMBerry (t|c) 09:55, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
West Bromwich Albion
- "The move [to Huddersfield] was prompted by Town's escalating injury crisis." Is there a source for this statement?
- Good question. The only sources I can find [1] and [2] suggest he was brought in for his experience. I'll wait for User:Jameboy, the original nominator, to see what he thinks. Peanut4 (talk) 20:11, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- I've removed the sentence. An article on the Huddersfield Town site mentions a couple of players suffering from "illness", which is a bit non-descript. However it is just one of several loan spells he completed and the reasons aren't particularly important IMO. If you disagree then I'll happily pop in a quote from (Huddersfield manager) Andy Ritchie, mentioning (as Peanut4 says) Wallwork's experience. --Jameboy (talk) 22:32, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
Apart from those points above I can't see anything that would prevent GA, so it's on hold for now. -AMBerry (t|c) 19:36, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Well done to everyone who contributed. -AMBerry (t|c) 09:55, 9 September 2008 (UTC)