Talk:Robert White (attorney general)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk · contribs) 16:37, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

Will start soon.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 16:37, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

• A few comments:

• Putting cites like this: "blah blah blahblat blat blat" is unnecessary

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), I did a scan for instances where inline citations appeared as such, and I was unable to find them. Would you be able to point out specific sections where this occurs so that I can correct it? I place inline citations at the end of each sentence, but I try to avoid placing them within sentences. -- West Virginian (talk) 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• First five sections.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 15:06, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), upon my re-review of these sections, I noticed that the inline citations appear at the end of sentences, which is not discouraged under the guidelines of Wikipedia:Inline citation and WP:CITEDENSE. I cite content per sentence. I wasn't able to find any instances where I had an inline citation in the middle of a sentence. -- West Virginian (talk) 15:16, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Guess I wasn't clear. It is unecessary to put cites like this: The sun is big. The sun is hot. or like this:The sky is blue. The sky can have clouds.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 15:23, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), I've gone through and I've done a thorough copyedit to ensure that duplicate citations are whittled down to just one set of citations at the end of the series of sentences they support. Take a scan, and let me know if this is acceptable. Thanks! -- West Virginian (talk) 16:14, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• The lead seems quite long. Can you shorten it?

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), I just gave a haircut to the lede in order to shorten it, and combined two paragraphs. Take another look and let me know if you feel any other content should be removed from the lede. Thank you for the suggestion! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• White was Born in 1833

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), this has been changed per your suggestion. -- 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• "of the PDF" is an unecessary ending.

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), this has been changed per your suggestion. -- 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Link Virginia

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), this has been changed per your suggestion. -- 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Duplicate links to Green Spring, Wheeling, Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, West Virginian Democratic Party, and Burial

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), this has been changed per your suggestion. -- 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 00:28, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), thank you for taking the time to engage in this review. Your guidance and suggestions are greatly appreciated! Take another look and let me know if you see anything else that needs removed, added, or fixing! -- 14:58, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Three more comments:
• Four more comments:

• Use either sfns or ref tags, not both. (suggestion only)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), I only used Harvnb reference tags. I was not able to find usage of sfns in the prose. I use Harvnb for books, web citations for websites, and newspaper citations for newspapers. Because the websites and newspapers aren't books, I do not place them in the Bibliography, and therefore, they are not given Harvnb citations. I hope this isn't a deal breaker. -- West Virginian (talk) 16:24, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Standardize hyphens in the isbns.

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), this has been changed per your suggestion. Thanks! -- West Virginian (talk) 15:19, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• In one source, I see you used both an OCLC and an isbn. It would be nice if you removed either the OCLC or the isbn (preferably the OCLC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), Wikipedia:Citing sources does not say specifically that these are mutually exclusive. I definitely see your point, and appreciate your suggestion, but I'd like to keep them both. -- West Virginian (talk) 15:22, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• I would prefer you moved the commons link to the top of the Bibliography section, instead of leaving it by itself in the External links section.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 15:15, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), according to WP:MOSSIS, the commons category link belongs in an external links section which is supposed to come after the bibliography and references to an article. -- West Virginian (talk) 16:24, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

• Tomandjerry211 and Tomandjerry211 (alt), I've addressed all your comments and suggestions thus far. Please take another look and let me know if you have any outstanding issues or questions. Once again, I really appreciate you taking the time to engage in this review, and value your guidance. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 16:24, 13 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Passing this article, and well done, West Virginian.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 22:21, 13 August 2015 (UTC)
    • Tomandjerry211 (alt), thanks again for the review! -- West Virginian (talk) 22:49, 13 August 2015 (UTC)