Talk:Robert Crippen/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Balon Greyjoy (talk · contribs) 16:21, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Hello! Looking forward to reviewing this article! Balon Greyjoy (talk) 16:21, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

@DynaSoarer: Finished an initial look at this article; please take a look at it and ask me if you have any questions. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 20:04, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

@DynaSoarer: I spoke to Neopeius about this review, and I hope I didn't come across as too harsh. I remember how unpleasant my first GA nomination was, and I hope it can become an easier and more welcoming process in the future. I see the page hasn't been edited in a while, and that's fine, but I'll leave this GA review for another week or so if you would like to come back to it. Please let me know if you have any questions or want help (seriously, I'm in quarantine and my wife is deployed, so I have the time). I don't have any good Crippen-specific resources, but I hope I can give guidance. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 00:27, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

@DynaSoarer: As there hasn't been any change or response to this GA review, I will be closing it. Please let me know if you have any questions or ever want to do some further work on this article or somewhere else in WP:SPACEFLIGHT. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 16:21, 9 February 2021 (UTC)

GA Progress Template

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Review

Hello! So just to give you my initial impression, this article needs a lot of work. I would currently put it at B or C class. It doesn't do a comprehensive job of discussing Crippen and his career; I'll point out below some of the things that should be improved. I don't mean to discourage you, and hope that I can help you get it to GA level. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 20:01, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

Early life and education

• I would flesh this out more. Maybe say something about his family, what his parents did, if they moved around, things he was involved in at UT, etc.
• Good to include his interest in computer programming, but I would remove the chronological jump to his later career. This section is about his early life.

Military career

• If it's available, there should be more information about his first 6 years in the Navy; it glosses over much of his pre-astronaut career.
• Is there more information about his MOL time? The section is largely about the program itself and has very little information about Crippen's experience.
• As far as I can tell, Crippen stayed in the Navy during his astronaut career, so "transferred to NASA" isn't entirely accurate.

NASA career

My main issue here is that there is undue weight for the things that Crippen had relatively little involvement in, and sparse details about his actual work. There's a lot of information about SMEAT, ASTP, and ALT, even though Crippen had a small role in them. Paragraphs about missions that Crippen was on, three of which he commanded, are shorter than those aforementioned programs. I would reorganize this to talk less about the missions and projects he supported and more about the projects in which he was directly involved.

Post-NASA career

• Is there more information about his post-NASA career? Those are pretty important roles, so I would assume there is more to say about them.

Organizations

• I would combine this section with "Awards and honors"