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Latest comment: 6 months ago1 comment1 person in discussion
I added the clean-up tag Lead extra info because the lead section has extra information that is not included in the body of the article. The lead should introduce and summarize an article. It should not contain details that are not explained elsewhere in the article. The first sentence says the the murders happened around the "Rossway Quarry". Where is this place? Apart from the lead, this location is not mentioned in the rest of the article. instead the article says these murders happened in Pretoria. As a reader, I don't know where these places are, as I am not an expert in South African geography, nor are Wikipedia's readers. Also, while the date of HIV infection is mentioned in the lead, this date or timing is not explained in article. It would seem to me that this is a critical event in the subject's life that motivated or provoked him to murder women. The way the lead is worded, the HIV infection is not causally related to the murders, it is just dropped in as a curious fact. The body of the article, on the other hand suggests there ids a causal relationship but the absence of a date makes this causal relationship harder to understand. For additional guidance, see MOS:LEAD. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 08:21, 5 November 2023 (UTC)Reply
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