Talk:Reunion (30 Rock)/GA1

Latest comment: 14 years ago by ThinkBlue in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
    Gave it a slight copyedit, just a couple of queries for clarity. A couple of tweaks in references.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    No problems
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    Broad in coverage and focused.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
    Neutral
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
    No problems
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
    No problems
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
  • No dead links or links to disambiguation pages.

Plot

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  • Could there be a bit of an explanation as to why Geiss was in a coma, or how long? (Just in this section, the lead's fine)
  • It's not immediately clear why Jack is distraught that Geiss is remaining CEO; could you make it clearer that he was supposed to get the job (or whatever it is that's happening there!)
    • Added.
  • "For upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna start doing his page duties..." - this sentence is not quite right grammatically because it suggests that T & J did the upstaging. It needs something extra at the beginning, like To pay him back for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna... or As revenge for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna...
    • Done.

Cultural references

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  • I didn't get the Obama reference, until I read her biog and saw that she went to Princeton. Could you clarify that? (remember your non-US audiences!)
    • Of course.
  • "often making out" - this sounds a bit too informal, but I don't have an immediate suggestion as you've just said "kissing". Unless, you just have something like Liz's former classmates play Seven minutes in heaven, a game in which two people are selected to go into a closet or other dark enclosed space and do whatever they like for seven minutes, often kissing.
    • Done.
  • "Later, Liz's classmates plan to Carrie her on stage..." - this is also informal, and a little obscure to the uninitiated, perhaps could be solved simply by quotation marks, like Later, Liz's classmates plan to "Carrie" her on stage
    • Done.
  • "The bucket of blood is dumped, but misses her entirely." - again, I feel that "dumped" is a bit informal, but feel free to disagree. Also, I think it's clearer if that sentence comes after the explanatory one (that begins "This is a reference to...")

References

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  • Could you link the first instance of IMDb & spell it out, and delink the second & third instances of Entertainment Weekly?
    • Done.
  • Not required now, but for further development, recommend adding publishers to all refs where possible.

Another good job, putting on hold.--BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

Ok, good job - passed! --BelovedFreak 14:42, 20 May 2010 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the review, it is most appreciated. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 14:46, 20 May 2010 (UTC)Reply