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Here are some of the specific problems I have with your history section in Red vs Blue:
- You shouldn't say "To avoid an extremely long article, this is a mere summary of Season 1," or "To be continued..." That's not good encyclopedic language.
- Season 1 is not "about" Church and Tex; it's about the whole group. Church and Tex aren't the "stars" of the season; heck, Tex herself doesn't even show up until partway through.
- "Sent by Blue Command ... he successfully defeats the Reds and returns the Blue Flag..." Who? Tex? Tex is a she, not a he. And nobody "defeats" the Reds; and what about the part of the story where the flag is taken in the first place?
- "Tex is unable" ... what? This is a sentence fragment.
- There are a number of typos in your "Story" section. "While interesting with ..." "Heavilly wounded ..."
Etc., etc.
Most importantly, though, I think you're missing the whole point of RvB by trying to provide a play-by-play of the plot. RvB isn't about the plot. The dialog and the interplay between characters in strange situations is what makes it funny. Trying to lay out the plot is like trying to lay out the plot of a Kevin Smith movie; it's kind of pointless and it doesn't capture any of what makes the thing popular. Like, take for example your mention that Simmons was turned into a cyborg. Is this an important plot point? Does it affect anything? No, it just makes for a couple of funny lines in the episode.
I feel that, overall, your Story section is more confusing than enlightening. If you do want to write a summary of the plot for each season, I recommend you write something more general, telling what the characters are trying to accomplish and what problems they encounter rather than being so specific.
(By the way, you didn't need to keep a copy of the original article yourself - all earlier versions are kept in the Wikipedia database.)
- Brian Kendig 13:12, 5 Aug 2004 (UTC)
I think this article needs a major overhaul...I know a lot about Red vs Blue so I could easily do it, if I have the time. bob rulz 09:02, Oct 30, 2004 (UTC)
- Like how, specifically? What needs to be changed? - Brian Kendig 14:43, 30 Oct 2004 (UTC)
- I still think that there could be some major work done on teh story section. It still feels like they're trying to mention the jokes too much. bob rulz 02:44, Oct 31, 2004 (UTC)
I think there should be a summary like a sentance long like the one i did. --Jack Renton 04:05, Dec 8, 2004 (UTC)
- I disagree with this; this leaves lots of missing plot information. I think that we should format it so that we don't describe each seperate episode and instead describe each season in a number of different paragraphs. It will help it to flow and read much smoother. bob rulz 07:58, Dec 11, 2004 (UTC)
- Eh, one of the biggest potential uses of this could be simply figuring out what happens in each episode, so that you don't have to download 5 different ones before you find the one you want. I think that we should go episode by episode. -- Chris Drostie 21:27, 6 Mar 2005 (UTC)
- I think you should give a general idea of what happens in each episode, without giving away too much. Eg. Episode 9 - After Church: The Red base comes under siege from the Blue's tank.--DooMDrat 10:28, Mar 7, 2005 (UTC)
I am a huge RvB and Tex fan and I will be more than glad to provide information.--Tex 23:50, Feb 10, 2005 (UTC)