Talk:Rachel Amber/GA1
GA Review edit
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Premeditated Chaos (talk · contribs) 08:22, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
The rewrite template recently attached to the article is correct, in my opinion, enough that the issue prevents a GA pass at this time. As it stands, much of the article is composed of lengthy quotes, which is not a good way to write encyclopedic prose. Quoting should be used to supplement encyclopedic text, not to replace it. Although it is an essay, WP:Overquote provides some useful direction on this - generally you want to reserve quoting for the most interesting and/or difficult-to-reword phrases.
As an experiment, I edited the article to remove all of the quotes, then compared the word count before and after. With quotes, it's ~1700; without, it's ~1100. If you don't count the ~200 word lead (which contains no quoted material, and is a summary of the body anyway), that's 600 of 1500 words or nearly 40% of the body of the article made up of quotes. The article must be rewritten to appropriately paraphrase its sources before it can pass the GACR.
Although it is not on the GACR, I would suggest condensing the sections under "Fictional biography", perhaps to "Original game" and "Additional games and media". Also noticed that you have two instances of 4+ citations (reception to Chloe & Rachel's relationship and fridging of Rachel). It's very rare to need more than 3 citations for a single point. I would suggest removing the least significant of those references, and/or expanding the content to justify the content (in other words, where you have one sentence, you could expand to have three and move some of the citations to support the expanded content). ♠PMC♠ (talk) 08:22, 13 August 2023 (UTC)