Talk:R2K: The Concert/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will review this one tomorrow! --K. Peake 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Pipe Araneta Center to Araneta City in the infobox  Done
• The alternate title is not sourced anywhere in the body -- removed
• Add a comma after tenth studio album  Done
• The first para is only three sentences long; maybe add another notable sentence, like the one about Velasquez being nervous? -- I've added another sentence providing information on the producer/promoter and sponsors instead. Perhaps it is also notable to include it in the lead similar to other concert articles.
• "Buttefly" → "Butterfly"  Done
• The inspiration sentence should be the second sentence of the second para instead  Done
• The set list including songs from her previous albums is not directly mentioned in the body's prose  Done -- I've added in the synopsis
• "as well as covers of pop hits" → "It also featured covers of pop hits" with the pipe  Done
• "during the shows." → "during the concert." also, this should be next to the critical reception in the third para instead  Done
• Pipe music critics to Music journalism  Done
• The best shows in Asia accolade(s) is not sourced  Done Removed. Forgot it was still in the lead, after I have removed it in the body from prior a copyedit

Background and development

• Img looks good, apart from the sold out part not being sourced anywhere in prose
• "The cover album contained remakes" → "The cover album contains remakes" with the pipe  Done
• Wikilink music videos  Done
• [1] is invoked too much per WP:OVERCITE; apart from the first sentence because that is non-consecutive, only cite after the fourth  Done
• "a commercial success: it sold over" → "a commercial success, selling over"  Done
• "in its second week of release and earned a" → "in the second week of release and earning a" also, add the organization that certified it  Done -- added music certification organization
• "she performed in small venue tours[3] which" → "Velasquez performed in small venue tours,[3] which"  Done
• Only invoke [6] after the second sentence  Done
• Brian Mcknight → Brian McKnight with the wikilink  Done
• Remove commas around Viva Concerts  Done
• [9] should only be cited once in the sentence  Done
• Pipe Folks Art Theater to Tanghalang Francisco Balagtas  Done
• "big show coming up"." → "big show coming up."" per MOS:QUOTE, if this is a full sentence  Done
• [10] should not be invoked after the first sentence of the second para; the others are fine per them being quotes and one the last sentence  Done
• Video looks good!
• [15] should only be invoked once in the Paul Abdul sentence  Done
• Pipe Rajo Laurel to Laurel family (Philippines)  Done
• [18] should only be invoked once in the two consecutive sentences solely citing this ref  Done

Concert synopsis

• Apart from the sentence where two refs are used, [12] should only be invoked once after a group of consecutive sentences  Done
• ""Larger than Life" before" → ""Larger than Life", before"  Done
• "of "One Love" then went directly" → "of "One Love", transitioning directly" with the pipe per MOS:LINK2SECT and shouldn't you mention who all the songs covered are by?  Done I have attributed/mentioned the artists where possible, except for when it's a medley/mash-up, to avoid WP:SEAOFBLUE
• Img looks good!
• "falling out of love before" → "falling out of love, before"  Done
• ""For the Love of You" where Velasquez" → "For the Love of You", where Velasquez"
• [12][19] duo should only be invoked once for the first two sentences  Done
• The third sentence should cite [19] after the comma, followed by [12] after the full-stop  Done
• "of "Sana Maulit Mulit" before continuing" → "of "Sana Maulit Mulit", before continuing"  Done
• Remove wikilink on pyrotechnics  Done
• After [20], [12] should only be invoked at the end of the closing sentence  Done

Reception and recordings

• Wikilink pyrotechnics on the quote box, also do not use double quotation marks inside other ones -- the term referred by Lo in the quote actually describes "vocal pyrotechnics" (an alternative to vocal abilities, etc). So I did not link. Also removed double quotation marks
• "The concerts received positive responses from critics who" → "The concert was met with positive responses from critics, who"  Done
• The second sentence of Ricky Lo's review should be put into your own words more, especially when there is a quote box from him  Done reworded this to avoid quoting the paragraph in the article
• "began his review with" should have a comma after it if the sentence from the original source begins at this point  Done
• "pop artist has"." → "pop artist has."" per MOS:QUOTE  Done
• Remove wikilink on Celine Dion  Done
• "called it "the most" → "noted "the most"  Done
• "her costumes as "grand and lavish" while" → "Velasquez's costumes as "grand and lavish", while"  Done
• Mention the writer instead of attributing the comments to the Manila Standard, also the speech marks are not ended  Done
• Same as above for attribution of the Philippine Daily Inquirer comments  Done
• "It previewed multiple snippets of" → "The film featured previews of multiple snippets of"  Done
• [23] should only be invoked after the second of the two sentences per WP:OVERCITE  Done

Set list

• Good

Personnel

• Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between personnel and roles  Done

See also

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks slightly high at 45.2%; cut down direct quoting from Ricky Lo in reception  Done cut down on direct quoting per reception comments above
• For any citations that are through Google Books, add the via parameter only wikilinking on the first instance  Done
• WP:OVERLINK of Philippine Daily Inquirer on refs 4, 7, 8, 10, 11, 17 and 19  Done
• WP:OVERLINK of Viva Concerts on ref 9  Done
• WP:OVERLINK of The Philippine Star on refs 14, 18 and 22  Done
• Use two separate parameters for the authors and cite last name followed by first on ref 20  Done
• WP:OVERLINK of Vivamax on ref 23  Done

External links

• Good

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice work on this! --K. Peake 09:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

• Thank you for your thorough review @Kyle Peake: I have addressed the above points and provided a few comments in blue to support changes made. Let me know if I may have missed anything or if there are items that remain unaddressed. Thanks Pseud 14 (talk) 14:03, 26 June 2022 (UTC)

• ✓ Pass now, good work from you even though I made a couple of copyedits! --K. Peake 16:27, 27 June 2022 (UTC)

• Thank you Kyle Peake! Much appreciate your review and the improvements/edits you've made. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 17:16, 27 June 2022 (UTC)