Talk:R. Ames Montgomery/GA1
Latest comment: 5 days ago by Fritzmann2002 in topic GA Review
GA Review
edit| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Nominator: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 05:34, 6 February 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Fritzmann2002 (talk · contribs) 10:04, 16 June 2024 (UTC)
Hi PCN02WPS, I'll be performing the review for this article. Fritzmann (message me) 10:04, 16 June 2024 (UTC)
Prose
- "Ordained as a Presbyterian..." is what I have heard as the proper usage, but correct me if I'm wrong there. It's present in a few other places too
- Link Ordained to Ordination, perhaps?
- "...who signed a petition to remove him from office. He resigned in June 1926..." was the resignation a result of the petition, or an unrelated retirement? That should be clarified just a bit in the lede
- "He attended Miami University" The placement of this sentence implies that it is R. Ames' brother that attended Miami
- Would a split of the Career section be warranted? Perhaps with a subsection on Early Career and his career at Centre, since those seem to be the two major eras
- "also held a pastorate in Edgerton, Ohio, during his career" are there any clues as to the timing of this pastorate?
- "He was in St. Louis on June 5, 1917" this seems like a strange way to set up the sentence. I think just stating something like: "He was elected president of Parsons College on June 5, 1917, in St. Louis..."
- What is "Founders Day"?
- "This came just weeks after Parsons received a large gift of $10,000 () from the Fairfield Retail Merchants Association" Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not making the connection here
- Totally not at all required, but I noticed that the article on the Harvard game is an FA, but doesn't mention the impact on Centre University or Montgomery's changes at all. Might be worth it to include those details if you get a chance!
- The sentence starting "A new playing facility on campus..." should just be split, it is quite unwieldy
- I made a few very minor changes, please look at them to double check I didn't introduce any issues
- Overall, the prose is very well constructed. I have no issues with the breadth or composition of the article, and once the few nitpicks above are resolved the prose will be in excellent shape.
Referencing
- Ref 1 should probably be placed at the end of the sentence
- General referencing formatting is excellent; the newpaper.com clippings will make it very easy to do spot checks, so thank you
- Refs 15, 17, 21 (though it isn't explicitly said, the info can be easily inferred from the newspaper date), 33 (I love small-town drama), and 38 all verified with no source-text integrity issues.
Overall, a fantastic article! Just a few small fixes and it should be good to get the green plus. Drop me a ping once you've finished so I can do a final sweep and promotion. Fritzmann (message me) 10:04, 16 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Fritzmann2002: Thank you for the kind words and the review! Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I believe I've addressed or responded to everything above! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 04:05, 25 June 2024 (UTC)
- Looks good to me, promoting now, congrats! Fritzmann (message me) 20:49, 26 June 2024 (UTC)