Talk:Protocol Wars/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Whizz40

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Cerebellum (talk · contribs) 01:00, 14 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
  • Pioneers vs. PTTs: I recommend you add a new first sentence to provide broad context, before zooming in on Baran and Davies. Something like this, stolen/adapted from History of the Internet: With limited exceptions, the earliest computers were connected directly to terminals used by individual users, typically in the same building or site. Wide area networks (WANs) emerged during the 1950s and became established during the 1960s, using telephone lines to form connections between physically distant computers. (I made up that last part about the telephone lines, not sure if it's technically correct but I'm trying to understand why Baran and Davies were worried about the PTTs.)
  • Added an alternative sentence, one I wrote, from the lead of History of the Internet. Whizz40 (talk) 12:56, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • ARPANET: When you first mention ARPANET, I think it would be appropriate to spell out the acronym and say briefly what it is; you say that it was intended to enable time-sharing of computers, but it think it would help to mention that it was a DoD program.
  • Louis Pouzon: When you say but his ideas caught the attention of the ARPANET developers, could you briefly say what his ideas were?
  • Technical aspects: I like Postel's ancient mystics quote, it's colorful. I'm confused on what he meant though - was he sarcastically mocking the OSI model for having too many layers? Or was he saying that TCP/IP did not have enough layers?
  • He was mocking the number of layers in OSI. Clarified that seven was more layers than the network engineering community was anticipating. Whizz40 (talk) 12:56, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Practical and commercial aspects: The sentence In 1990, CERN established a transatlantic TCP/IP link with Cornell University in the United States and academic institutions in some European countries and organizations had adopted or signaled their acceptance of TCP/IP is confusing, I think you either need to remove "and organizations" or move it before "in some European countries". Right now it reads like some of the academic institutions are in European countries and some are in organizations.
  • Moved "and organizations" as suggested. Whizz40 (talk) 20:01, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Images: Outstanding use of images, you found some very engaging ones and fair use rationales are present. When I was trying to figure out the difference between datagrams and virtual circuits a diagram would have helped, but I poked around some other pages and couldn't find one. Do you think a diagram of the OSI or TCP/IP models would be appropriate? Something like File:Internet layering.svg?
  • Spot checks: Spot checked references #11, 22, 64. For #64, which part of the sentence is it supporting? I couldn't find anything in there about Cornell on a link being established in 1990.
  • Dropped reference #64 as the article does not rely on it. Whizz40 (talk) 20:01, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • References: For refs #14, 17, 22, 28, 31, 69, 60, 71, 76, and any other books that I missed, please provide page numbers.
  • External links: Ref #5, The Evolution of Packet Switching, kept timing out for me I couldn't access it. Does it work for you?
  • Fate of OSI: Does anyone still use OSI? I remember having to memorize the seven layers in a networking class a few years ago, but for the life of me I can't remember why. If it's still around, would be worth mentioning in the article.
  • The OSI model is still used as a teaching tool, and there are some OSI protocols in existence. Added more context to the OSI Reference Model section and added a Legacy section. Whizz40 (talk) 12:56, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

That's all I have! Thank you for this article, it was fun to read. I'll place it on hold for seven days so you can work through the comments above. If you disagree with any of them, let me know. For some, like explaining ARPANET and Pouzon, maybe it's not necessary since the reader can just use a wikilink to learn more; I tend to think articles should be self-contained as much as possible, but maybe I'm wrong and it's just unnecessary detail. --Cerebellum (talk) 02:57, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Thanks Cerebellum, will take a look at these now. Whizz40 (talk) 08:47, 16 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the improvements, I'd still like to see page numbers for the books but it's not the end of the world, since the Google Books links are for the relevant page. Pass as GA. --Cerebellum (talk) 01:22, 23 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for your review @Cerebellum:. Agree, I'll work on adding page numbers to the refs and an additional image in line with your suggestion. Whizz40 (talk) 07:31, 23 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.