Talk:Post Office (short story)
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Gazal world in topic Copyedit request for GOCE
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Copyedit request for GOCE edit
Hi Gazal world, some questions. Please indent your responses under each point:
This premise could probably be reduced in the lead, and potentially reworded so that casual readers don't assume the "intense love" between father and daughter to be incestuous.The story is about the intense love of an old father, Ali Coachman, for his daughter, Mariyam, and the insensitive bureaucracy of the local post office. Ali goes to the local post office every day while waiting for his daughter's letter, but the post office administration behaves with him indifferently.
- You are right. We could replace the term "intense love" with "affection". Please feel free to trim other content from the lead. --Gazal world (talk) 21:28, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
Tankha (The Sparks)
Just checking, the title in the parentheses is translated?
- Yes. "The Sparks" is the English word for the Gujarati word "Tankha". --Gazal world (talk) 21:28, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
The theme of the story is an intense love of an old father, Ali Coachman, for his daughter, Mariyam, and insensitive bureaucracy of the local post office.
Links removed. You may be confusing plot for theme; plot is what actually happens in the story, while theme is the idea the author is trying to convey through the story.
- You are right. Please change it accordingly. Thanks. --Gazal world (talk) 21:32, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
The protagonist, Ali Coachman, was a legendary hunter in his early life, but he gave up hunting after his daughter Mariyam got married to a soldier.
Not really a copyedit issue, but is this necessary to understand the short story? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:00, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
- Also, is Coachman part of his name or his occupation? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- Yes, this details is necessary to describe the character of Ali Coachman. 'Ali' is the first-name, and 'Coachman' is his surname. --Gazal world (talk) 23:23, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Also, is Coachman part of his name or his occupation? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 17:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
The postmaster and his staff laugh at Ali for this obsession.
Obsession can have a negative connotation in English, and I don't think it adequately describes his request. Would just using request work? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:00, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
- I think, "obsession" is the right word. I attended a lecture by Chandrakant Topiwala; he also used the term OCD for Ali's behavior; i.e. his daily visit to the post office. --Gazal world (talk) 21:32, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
[...] and the postmaster starts waiting for his daughter's letter, whose husband was also in the army.
Emphasis added. Is this a necessary detail? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:00, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
Done without further input from requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 02:19, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- whose husband was also in the army -- Yes, this line is very necessary. --Gazal world (talk) 23:23, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
It is only after that the postmaster realises Ali's pain.
This sentence seems out of place with the surrounding ones. Better to remove? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:00, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
Looking forward to your answers. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:00, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
I am considering the copyedit request complete. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns, Gazal world. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 02:20, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Hey Tenryuu, Sorry for my delayed response; I was busy in real life. Thanks for the copy-edits. A nicer read, now. --Gazal world (talk) 23:23, 5 April 2021 (UTC)