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Talk:Penang/GA2

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Latest comment: 3 months ago by ZKang123 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 3 months ago115 comments2 people in discussion
Passed. ZKang123 (talk) 14:36, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: HundenvonPenang (talk · contribs)

Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 09:32, 26 March 2024 (UTC) Reviewing per request. I hope I'll have enough time to look thoroughly.Reply

Preliminary spot checks

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  • Earwig showed no immediate issues.

Lead

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  • "on the northwest coast of Peninsular Malaysia, by the Malacca Strait." -> "along the Malacca Strait" and remove comma.
  • "RM451 billion" -> Include Template:ToUSD value.
  • "primarily through the Penang International Airport, the nation's third busiest." I find this statement a little unclear. Do you mean like goods imported/exported through the airport? Also busiest in terms of what?
    •   Fixed Thanks for pointing out the oversight. In actual fact, PIA is third busiest in passenger traffic. Rewritten as such: "primarily through the Penang International Airport which is also the nation's third busiest in passenger traffic" hundenvonPG (talk) 12:49, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 09:32, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

Hey ZKang123. Glad to see your feedback. Will be making amendments as we go along. hundenvonPG (talk) 12:49, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

History

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  • I say the "Prehistory" and "Early history" sections are short enough to be merged under "Early history".
  • "The Cherok Tok Kun megalith, uncovered at Bukit Mertajam in 1845, features Pali inscriptions that suggest the Hindu-Buddhist Bujang Valley civilisation, which was based in present-day Kedah, had established its authority over certain parts of Seberang Perai by the 6th century."
    • I felt this chunk should be rewritten to focus more on the fact that the civilisation had authority on the island. Like: "Pali inscriptions on the Cherok Tok Kun megalith suggest the Hindu-Buddhist Bujang Valley civilisation, which was based in present-day Kedah, had authority over certain parts of Seberang Perai by the 6th century."
  • Is it known why even after independence, Malaysia still maintains the annual payments? Seems like a future rabbit hole of research... Especially I heard about disputes between Kedah and Penang.
    • To my knowledge, this is rather opaque. I haven't come across publications touching on the "why". Only that the payments continue to this day (they are made by the federal government, not the Penang state government). On another note, it has inflamed relations between the two states (Kedah persistently demanding larger annual payments and laying claim on Penang, which in the current political climate is easily turned into "ammunition" by the opposing parties governing both states). hundenvonPG (talk) 14:45, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • "taking maritime trade from Dutch posts in the region" – "diverting maritime commerce away from Dutch outposts in the area."
  • "By 1808, a local government for George Town was in place, whilst the establishment of the Supreme Court of Penang marked the birth of Malaysia's modern judiciary." – "By 1808, George Town had established its local government, while the founding of the Supreme Court of Penang marked the birth of Malaysia's modern judiciary."
  • "In 1826, Penang, Singapore and Malacca were incorporated into the Straits Settlements, with George Town as the capital. However, Singapore soon supplanted George Town as Southeast Asia's premier entrepôt. In 1832, Singapore replaced George Town as the capital of the Straits Settlements."
    • Suggest shortening and merging this part to the previous paragraph (or the latter paragraph).
    • "In 1826, Penang was the capital of the Straits Settlements which included Singapore and Malacca. As Singapore soon supplanted George Town as the region's premier entrepôt, Singapore became the capital instead in 1832."
    •   Fixed Rephrased and merged with previous para as per suggestion. hundenvonPG (talk) 14:45, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • "The population growth also created social problems, such as inadequate sanitation and health facilities, as well as rampant crime, with the latter culminating in street violence and rioting in 1867."
    • "However, the population growth created social problems such as inadequate sanitation, health facilities, and rampant crime, culminating in street violence and rioting in 1867."
  • "Sun, in particular, chose George Town as the headquarters for the Tongmenghui in Southeast Asia". I don't think the rest of the sentence is as relevant in the scope of this article. But I would elaborate a bit of how the Tongmenghui was an anti-Qing republican organisation, and add when Sun chose George Town as headquarters.

More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 13:19, 26 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

  • For ref 51, is there a better source to attribute to the sentence about Penang's involvement in WW1?
  • "on 19 December 1941, after suffering days of aerial attacks." "on 19 December 1941 after daily aerial attacks."
  • "was put to use as a major submarine base" – "was converted/reused/used as a..."
  • "After Japan's surrender, British marines launched Operation Jurist on 3 September 1945 to retake Penang Island, making George Town the first settlement in Malaya to be liberated from the Japanese."
    • This sentence is a bit odd; I understand it's more of the British reassuming control from the Japanese government.
    • "Following Japan's surrender, George Town was the first Malayan settlement liberated by British marines through Operation Jurist on 3 September 1945."
      •   Fixed Rephrased similarly. Though according to Barber's book, British forces that participated were still uncertain at that point (days after the surrender) if the Japanese would put up resistance. The marines were to call in naval gun support if resistance was encountered, only to find a disciplined Japanese handover upon landing. hundenvonPG (talk) 15:50, 27 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • Also ref 52 "Barber, Andrew (2010). Penang At War : A History of Penang During and Between the First and Second World Wars 1914–1945. AB&B. ISBN 9789834337230." – it would further benefit if you are able to provide the page numbers through inline citations.
  • "This made George Town the first city within the Federation of Malaya, and by extension, Malaysia. " – This sentence requires attribution
  • "George Town was a free port since colonial times, but its status was rescinded by the Malaysian federal government in 1969." – "George Town's status as a free port was rescinded by the..."
  • "the then Chief Minister Lim Chong Eu " – Remove "the then"
  • Similarly for ref 49 "Daniel Goh, P. S. (2014). "Between History and Heritage: Post-Colonialism, Globalisation, and the Remaking of Malacca, Penang and Singapore" (PDF). Trans-Regional and -National Studies of Southeast Asia.", please also provide page numbers to the various attributions.
  • In fact I say most of the book sources used throughout the article needs page numbers.
  • "masterminded the creation of" – would just say "established"
  • "However, persistent brain drain, exacerbated by federal policies that favoured the development of Kuala Lumpur, meant that Penang was no longer at the forefront of the country's economy by the 21st century.[49][67] This, coupled with the deteriorating state of affairs in general, such as incoherent urban planning, poor traffic management and the dilapidation of George Town's heritage enclave due to the repeal of the Rent Control Act in 2001, led to simmering discontent within Penang's society"
    • "Persistent brain drain, aggravated by federal policies prioritizing the growth of Kuala Lumpur, resulted in Penang losing its leading position in the national economy by the 21st century. This decline, compounded by various issues including incoherent urban planning, poor traffic management and the dilapidation of George Town's historic district following the repeal of the Rent Control Act in 2001, contributed to growing dissatisfaction within Penang society."
    •   Fixed Sounds good. Rewritten para. hundenvonPG (talk) 15:50, 27 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • For the paragraph: "In response, George Town's civil societies..." reword to: "In response, civil societies in George Town mobilized public support to rejuvenate the city. Resentment against the Barisan Nasional (BN) administration led to the Pakatan Rakyat bloc (now Pakatan Harapan) rising to power through the 2008 state elections. Efforts to preserve George Town's heritage architecture led to the city's historical core being designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2008/that year."
  • Any further history since 2008?

More to come for the subsequent sections. Please bear in mind to provide page numbers for book sources.--ZKang123 (talk) 05:24, 27 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

Geography

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Continued.

  • Penang is the second smallest state in Malaysia by size after Perlis, with a total land area of just 1,049 km2 (405 sq mi).
  • I think it will be better to cite the various land area data from the Malaysia government website or state government.
  • "The state is roughly divided by the Penang Strait, which measures is only a mere 3 km (1.9 mi) wide at the narrowest point."
    • Given Penang Island is 295 km2 and Seberang Perai is 748 km2, I won't say "roughly divided", as it quite implies they are almost nicely divided (400 and 600).
    • Might also add a fact on the strait "widest point". I think whats important is to highlight like the average width of the Strait.
  • "On the other hand, the city of Seberang Perai covers the whole mainland half of Penang."
    • Eh, from the map below, Seberang Perai seems to cover only a bit of the mainland half... Also I need the exact page number of ref 84.
  • "The capital city of George Town encompasses the entirety of Penang Island"
    • Similarly I would at most say along the west coast of Penang Island... Also "capital city" -> "state capital"
  • "within the state" – "of the state"
  • ", land reclamation projects have been undertaken at high-demand areas." such as? Also it would help to indicate such areas on a map.
  • "Penang features" – "Penang has"
  • " a tropical rainforest climate, under the" – remove comma
  • I don't think that table indicating Temperature (day), (night) etc is necessary. Also the climate chart basically repeats the same information.
  • "The central hills of Penang Island, including Penang Hill, are an important green lung for George Town." – not sure if its from the source. The word "green lung" sounds rather promotional.

More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 12:31, 28 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

Governance and politics

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  • I don't see much problems with this section. Rather well-written.
  • "based primarily on commerce and trade, rather than agriculture" – remove comma
  • "Since the 2008 state election, the DAP, part of the ruling Pakatan Harapan (PH) coalition, has been the single largest party in the state's legislature, thereby holding the position of the head of government." – this last part should have a citation. Tbh, this sentence doesn't make as much sense; a party cannot hold the position of the head of government.
  • I'm unsure of the use of "far right" to describe PN.
  • I think the small table of the percentage of party seats is unnecessary.
  • "After Pakatan Rakyat (predecessor to the present-day Pakatan Harapan) was voted into power in 2008" – no need the bracketed portion since it was explained earlier.
  • "Moreover, George Town is twinned with five sister cities and six friendship cities, while Seberang Perai has formed partnerships with one sister city and one friendship city. " – needs citation

Demographics

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  • Suggest splitting the first sentence.
    • "Penang, with a population of 1,740,405 as of 2020" – "As of 2020, the population of Penang was 1,740,405."
    • "has the highest population density of all Malaysian states (excluding the Federal Territories of Kuala Lumpur and Putrajaya), at 1,659/km2 (4,300/sq mi)." – "With a population density of 1,659/km2 (4,300/sq mi), Penang has the highest population density of all Malaysian states."
    • I might exclude the mention of the Federal Territories since from my understanding they aren't exactly states right?
  • "Due to its more compact land area, the city's population density of 2,595.8/km2 (6,723/sq mi) was double that of Seberang Perai." – need citation
    • Also "Due to its more compact land area, George Town has twice the population density of Seberang Perai at [value]"

. More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 03:11, 2 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

  • "while ethnic Indians made up nearly 9% of the state's populace." – "of the state's populace" is unnecessary.
  • "remains a Chinese-majority city with over half of its population being Chinese as of 2020." – "with over half of its population being Chinese" I felt like already saying George Town is Chinese-majority quite implies that fact. Unless you give a firm percentage.
  • Btw for the language subsection, does the Penang state constitution state the official language(s)? Might mention it first.
  • "where the major languages commonly in use..." – "where Malay, English, Hokkien, Mandarin and Tamil are widely spoken."
  • "encouraged its use among some within the Chinese and Indian" – "encouraged its adoption by the Chinese and Indian..."
  • Oh I see that Malay as the official language shown later. I would suggest talking about the status of the Malay language as the official state language first in this language subsection, then mention the other major languages spoken.
  • "to have set up a dedicated department" – "to have a dedicated department."
  • " is a prime example of the peaceful coexistence of various religions in Penang." – This part is rather unecyclopedic. I think it's fine to mention Phil Street as where many various places of worship are located, however, and I will keep the street's nickname. Suggest rephrasing
    •   Fixed Point taken; sentence sounded quite odd at first. Trimmed down sentence: "... houses multiple places of worship belonging to Muslim, Taoist, Hindu and Christian communities, all located in close proximity to each other". hundenvonPG (talk) 03:24, 4 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 02:14, 4 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

Economy

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More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 05:45, 4 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

Sorry if I haven't been getting back to this; I have other things on my plate at the moment.--ZKang123 (talk) 02:33, 16 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

No worries. Feel free to circle back whenever it's convenient. hundenvonPG (talk) 04:37, 16 April 2024 (UTC)Reply

Culture

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  • "throughout any given year." – throughout the year.
  • "including but not limited to" - "but not limited to" is unnecessary
  • ", in particular," – also remove
  • Are there also special Eid al-Fitri celebrations in Penang for the Malay population, or CNY more focussed given Penang is more Chinese-majority?
    • To my knowledge, Eid al-Fitri in Penang is rather similar to the west coast of Peninsular Malaysia, at least in customs. Open houses, Ramadan markets, etc, none that are distinct compared to the other states. hundenvonPG (talk) 12:23, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • "to bag the international Literary Festival Award " – "to achieve the..."
  • Would also mention Chingay in the festivals as well. Actually I think the entire mention of Chingay could be shifted to the previous section on festivals.
    •   Fixed Concur, although Chingay parades in Penang are on a smaller scale, I believe, compared to that in Singapore. Still it involves significant road closures and (from my observation) attracts quite a crowd yearly. hundenvonPG (talk) 12:23, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • "George Town is the birthplace of a distinct form of the Chingay procession. Introduced in 1919, Penang's variant of Chingay includes the act of balancing gigantic flags on one's head or hands." – I think this could be further concise into "George Town is credited as the origin of a unique form of the Chingay procession in Penang, which involves participants balancing oversized flags on their heads or hands."
  • Performing arts and street art could be merged under arts. Also, any further mention of museums and/or some art council for Penang? And also Penang literature? Theatre? Especially Wayang Kulit and so on?
  • "In spite of its small size" – "Despite its..."

Education, Healthcare

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  • "standing at 99.5% as of 2014." – Any recent update on this statistic?
  • Also remove "As of 2020".
  • Perhaps can elaborate little more on Penang's education system? For example, what is the subject of instruction, or depending on the language-school medium? Does Penang have a Ministry of Education as well?
  • For healthcare, compared to other Malaysian states, is it stated if Penang has the best quality of life? What's its ranking?
  • Might also mention HIV, obesity rates and immunisation if any information can be found.

Media

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Transport

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Utilities

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  • Would also shift this after the geography section before the transport section
  • Might mention about water demand in Penang.
  • "However, it is heavily dependent on one single raw water resource – the Muda River, which forms the northern border between Seberang Perai and Kedah, and provides over 80% of Penang's water supply." – "However, over 80% of Penang's water supply comes from the Muda River, which forms the northern border between Seberang Perai and Kedah."
  • "as well as incessant political disputes " – "and constant political disputes"
  • Penang doesn't have a desalination plant or reservoirs? Penang is really unlike Singapore on dealing with water supply and more dependent on other states.
    • Penang does have a handful of reservoirs (mentioned in the section) that act as a reserve in the case of disruption. But apart from that, it doesn't have an alternative supply (admittedly this is one area where Penang should've done better; Singapore's story could've been a case study, but so far, I haven't seen the state authorities going in that direction). hundenvonPG (talk) 12:23, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • Anything about sanitation and recycling?
Many thanks ZKang123 for the thorough review. Pretty sure all points have been addressed, but feel free to add on if there's any I misssed. hundenvonPG (talk) 12:23, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Ok almost there. Just going over the recent changes and remarks. I think it's also fine to mention that Penang's education system is the same as the federal level, saying that education in Penang is under the purview of the federal government. Also, are you sure reservoirs are mentioned in the utilities section or in the article at all? Cos I don't find it.
Overall the edits are good. Just a little more.--ZKang123 (talk) 13:28, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Thanks   I've just expanded on education being under federal jurisdiction, with some elaboration.
And yes, the reservoirs are mentioned under 'utilities':
"To counter water supply disruptions, PBAPP has contingency plans in place to draw water from alternative sources such as Ayer Itam Dam, Teluk Bahang Dam and Mengkuang Dam". hundenvonPG (talk) 14:25, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply

Overall

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):   Some bits might get unencyclopedic, with a little more polish in the language.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):   Taken mostly from Malaysian and Penang news sources, alongside scholarly research.
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   A couple of gaps needing some clarity.
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   Photos are under CC license or PD
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):   Optional to add alt text.

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

  ·   ·   ·  

That's all for me. Putting on hold as concerns are being addressed.--ZKang123 (talk) 07:13, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply

Satisfied with all changes. Passed--ZKang123 (talk) 14:35, 1 May 2024 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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