Talk:Paul Pavelka/GA1

Latest comment: 9 months ago by Generalissima in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Generalissima (talk · contribs) 04:02, 15 January 2024 (UTC)Reply


Oh hey, you brought this to GAN! I'll try to review this next few days. Generalissima (talk) 04:02, 15 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

So sorry for delaying on this :( I complete got sidetracked.


Criterion #1: Well-written

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Lede is good, though you should briefly mention where and how he died.

I think early life would flow better if you mention his parents names in the first sentence (eg; Hungarian immigrants, Paul and Anna Pavelka). This way you can avoid naming his father in the last sentence of this paragraph, which would make it a lot clearer. Rest of section seems good.

World War I section seems good.

Criterion #2: Verifiable

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I checked a couple sources.

  • Nordhoff, p. 379
    • Source confirms all four times you use it.
  • The Champaign Daily News 1915, p. 6.
    • Source checks out (though please replace this with a clipping so people don't need a subscription.)
  • The Washington Times 1915, p. 5
    • Checks out, but ditto.
  • The Parsons Daily Sun 1916, p. 4
    • Ditto.
  • The Atlanta Constitution 1917.
    • Ditto.

Criterion #3: Broadness

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This is the one I'm a little unsure on. The article feels a bit "dense", and I think you can still milk your sources quite a bit. If there's any way you can add detail to his early life, that'd be great, cause right now he's just jumping from place to place with no detail of what he's doing there (especially that Andes expedition, that shipwreck, and his... army service on the USS Maryland? That's either a typo or really interesting!)

Criterion #4: Neutrality

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Yeah, this seems fine.

Criterion #5: Stable

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Yep!

Criterion #6: Imaged

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Add alt-text, please! I'm also unsure about the usefulness of the emblem of the Lafayette Escadrille; wouldn't that picture of his funeral from the 1920 Nordhoff source be more specific?

Sourcing on the images checks out though.


The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.