Talk:Paresh Mokashi/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Jcb in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Dwaipayanc (talk · contribs) 19:34, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
- Starting the GA review.
- Theatre or theater? Both spellings have been used. Please be consistent.
- Done. User Theatre, except for Grips-Theater.
- There is overlinking of Harishchandrachi Factory.
- Done Kept one in each section other than "Personal life".
- "Started as an backstage worker for a theatre group in Pune, Mokashi has been associated with Marathi theatre since 1988." This sentence seems incorrect in grammar.
- Done Forked the sentences.
- Make sure to use one variety of English, preferably British English. "organization"
- Done
- "...and lately Samudra". Dont need "lately"
- Done
- "1999's Prithvi Theatre festival."? or, just, 1999 Prithvi Theatre festival?
- Done
- "Mokashi did few small time roles for Hindi TV serials..." Few--> a few
- Done
- "To have festival participation across India, the film had its technical release in the remote places of Maharashtra and Mokashi made directorial debut with his much acclaimed and only feature film to date, Harishchandrachi Factory.". The first part of this sentence (technical release in remote places) needs elaboration, it is not clear why he released it in remote places. The second part (directorial debut) is redundant, we already know it is his debut.
- Not much into available for the remote release part. Its taken from the fourth page of the source.
- Well, I don't mean which remote places. But, why that was needed? My guess is to have the film compete in festivals, the film need to be released in that year, right? If so, that can be mentioned (source can be found elsewhere). Another question arises, too. Why not usual places to release? May be that would be expensive, or, may be no distributors wanted to take risk. But, honestly, we cannot speculate so if no source mentions that. Try to search a little bit more. If nothing is available, nothing can be done.--Dwaipayan (talk) 22:13, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
- It would be too tough to get the exact reason. The film participated in multiple film festivals and won awards. One of them might have had this rule for the participation. Finding out which one would be really painful. This is what mentioned in his interview "We had a technical release in the remote places of Maharashtra so we could participate in various festivals across the country. We won many awards." I can mail and ask Mokashi himself but that would take lot of time considering the wait time. OTRS can validate the mail content. - Vivvt (Talk) 01:31, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
- I think you can mail Mokashi for clarification. Meanwhile, this would not stall the ga process. May be using the quote itself would be a more acceptable way to express this in the article. Not sure, will have another look later.--Dwaipayan (talk) 06:51, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
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- Surprisingly, I got a reply from him immediately. Though, he explained why they had a technical release first and commercial, he does not remember which festival had this rule. He mentioned that its a common practice nowadays. ("many. including some regional, national and international. dont remember the names. but this rule is quite common."). Shall I forward the particular email to OTRS so that they can validate? - Vivvt (Talk) 17:20, 6 April 2013 (UTC)
- Removed the duplicate info.
- "...about Indian cinema over the period of time." Here, "over the period of time" is unnecessary.
- Done
- "...exploring the mythological myths about Indian history..." Mythological myths?
- Done Opps! My Bad!!
- Awards section: All those dashes between the year and the name of the award, I think all those should be spaced endash, not mere hyphens.--Dwaipayan (talk) 19:34, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
- Done