Talk:Ozymandias (Breaking Bad)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 03:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 03:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

Hi, @Some Dude From North Carolina: I've addressed the below comments. DMT biscuit (talk) 18:40, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

General comments

• Change all uses of Indiewire to IndieWire.
• Change all uses of TIME to Time.
• The dates in the references should be consistent with the prose so add the "Use mdy dates" template.

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good.
• I would remove the link to cliffhanger in the first paragraph per WP:OVERLINK.
• That being said, I would also add a link to "To'hajiilee" in the last sentence of the first paragraph.
• "freedoms then she" → "freedom than she"
• Remove the comma after "much analysis".
• Add a comma after "depiction of redemption".
• "televsion" → "television"
• "won the" → "won the award for"

Plot

• Plot is under 400 words, so that passes WP:FILMPLOT.
• Remove the comma after "kill him anyway".
• "leads to" doesn't sound right. Can I suggest changing it to "causes"?
• The double use of "White home" sounds repetitive, so reword it.

Production

• In the image's caption, change "Breaking Bad" to Breaking Bad.
• Link Moira Walley-Beckett, Rian Johnson, "Fly", Betsy Brandt, and Anna Gunn.
• "Giligan" → "Series creator Vince Gilligan"
• "Fly." → "Fly".
• "self described" → "self-described"
• "thoughout" → "throughout"
• "enamoured" → "enamored"
• "inconvient" → "inconvenient"
• "or Walt" → "nor Walt"
• "his short" → "his hair short" (avoid confusion)
• "by placed" → "be placed"
• Add a comma after "barrel".
• "off screen" → "off-screen"
• "Coexecutive" → "Co-executive"
• A reference is needed for the first sentence of the last paragraph (recite it).

Analysis

• "of audience" → "of the audience"
• The quote box for the phone call should be under the header.
• "analysed" → "analyzed"
• "view it a ploy" → "view it as a ploy"
• "sympathise" → "sympathize"

Reception

• Are the mini-captions necessary?
• Link Attack on Titan in the note.
• "build up" → "build-up"
• Remove the comma after "IGN".
• "arc of victim" → "arc as a victim"
• "on the each member of White family's arcs" → "on each member of the White family's arcs"
• "appalued" → "applauded"
• "as she begun" → "as she began"
• "The show's honesty" → "the show's honesty"
• "was described" → "were described"
• "enprisoniment" → "imprisonment"
• Specify the Primetime Emmy Awards ceremony where they won the three awards.

References

• Archive all archivable sources (either manually or with this tool).
• Link each website used in every reference.
• Currently there is a "reference invoked but never defined" so fix that.
• There's also a "permanent dead link", so I would find a replacement or remove its content within the article.
• Mark references from Esquire with "|url-access=limited".
• Mark references from Los Angeles Times with "|url-access=limited".
• Mark references from Rolling Stone with "|url-access=limited".
• Mark references from Vanity Fair with "|url-access=limited".
• Mark references from Vulture with "|url-access=limited".
• Mark references from The New Yorker with "|url-access=registration".
• Add the "|via=YouTube" parameter to the reference after "earth".
• "GoldDerby.com" → "Gold Derby"
• "EW.com" → "Entertainment Weekly"

Progres

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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