Talk:Osa Maliki/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 10:12, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
Nominator The man from Gianyar (talk · contribs) at 14:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): WP:AGF that you'll fix minor errors later b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Comments

General

• Following terms are wiki-linked multiple times in the article. Suggesting to import this script. They should be linked only twice——once in the lead section, and once in the prose:
  • In the lead:
    • West Java
    • People's Representative Counci
    • President
    • Sukarno
    • fall from power
  • In the prose:
    • Taman Siswa
    • Indonesian Communist Party
    • Bandung
    • Sukarno
    • proclamation of independence
    • National Revolution
    • West Java
    • mass communication
    • Central Java
    • Hardi
    • Suharto

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 14:58, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Detailed

• President Sukarno's fall from power — avoid linking two or more adjacent words

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 16:32, 19 January 2022 (UTC)

• During the Japanese occupation (both in the lead and the "Early life" section) — specify "Japanese occupation of of the Dutch East Indies"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 16:32, 19 January 2022 (UTC)

• Italicize Kenpeitai

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:01, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

• In an independent Indonesia, he remained active in politics — should be "In an independent Indonesia, he remained an active politician"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 16:32, 19 January 2022 (UTC)

• President Sukarno's Guided Democracy — WP:SOB

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 13:34, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

• The "Early life" section should be split in "Early life" and "Early career".

 Half done – The early life section is a bit too short to be split up, imo. I've changed the section's heading to Early life and career to compensate. Cheers, The man from Gianyar (talk) 03:17, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• Little is known of his early life, but he was educated in a — should be "Little is known of his early life; he was educated in a"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 03:17, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• The article writes it as "Indonesian Communist Party", but our wiki-article states the common/formal name to be "Communist Party of Indonesia".

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 13:34, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

• in the failed — "in the unsuccessful"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 03:17, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• In the aftermath, Osa was — "Subsequently, Osa was"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 13:34, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

• and sentenced to jail — would "imprisoned" work?

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 13:34, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

• During his time in Boven-Digoel, Osa spent his free time — repetition of "time"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:43, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• earning a salary of 17,5 Gulden — the comma should be decimal. And suggesting to use Template:inflation.

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:43, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• BPI — is never again used in the article. Do we need to define the abbreviation?

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:01, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

• he studied mass communication abroad — in which country? do the sources discuss this?

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:43, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• Following the proclamation of independence and the beginning of the Indonesian National Revolution, he served in the newly formed provincial government of the province of West Java. — this is repeated information. Already mentioned in the immediately previous section

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:51, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• and later the Indonesian National Party (PNI), after the Kediri Congress in 1946. — "and after the Kediri Congress in 1946, he joined the Indonesian National Party (PNI)."

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:51, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• he studied mass communication abroad. — Repeated information.

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:56, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• between 28 August and 1 September 1963 — 'between' or 'from'?

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:56, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• President Sukarno gave a speech. In the speech, Sukarno chided party — "President Sukarno gave a speech; he chided party"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:56, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• 6 members — "six members"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:56, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• Suharto then arranged — "Subsequently, Suharto arranged"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:56, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• In the third meeting, which took place on 24 March — " In the third meeting, which took place on 24 March"

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:37, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• "reforming" itself. — can remove the quotes

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:37, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• a Heart attack — lowercase

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:37, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

• on 3:00 p. m. — Add a non-breaking-space (Template:nbsp) between '3:00' and 'p.m.'. Also, no space between 'p.' and 'm.'

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 02:51, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

• Cikutra Heroes Cemetery, Bandung — replace the comma with 'in'.

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:37, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Images

• Images can take ALT text.

 Done – Sorry for the late reply, but finished adding the alt text. Cheers, The man from Gianyar (talk) 09:51, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

• Images need PD US tags as well. For example, File:Ali Sastroamidjojo Nasional 28 Jul 1960 p3.jpg has both the tags.

 Done – Didn't realize I haven't added the {{done}} on this one. The man from Gianyar (talk) 09:50, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

References

• Ref#24 should be cite-news, not cite-web.

 Done – The man from Gianyar (talk) 15:01, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Another nice work! Putting on hold. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:02, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

@The man from Gianyar, any updates? No issues if you are too busy, I am willing to keep this nomination open as long as you wish, assuring that changes would be made. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:21, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Oh yeah, this nomination. Sorry, I completely forgot (busy with IRL stuff), but I'll start updating it now. Cheers, The man from Gianyar (talk) 16:30, 19 January 2022 (UTC)

Looking forward to image changes, but as a vast majority of the changes are made, I'll promote. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:17, 3 February 2022 (UTC)