Talk:Oleg Tinkov/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 18:24, 26 December 2017 (UTC)

I'll review this. Some initial comments:

• There is a harv error in the footnotes: there is no link pointing at the 2011 book listed in the publications. If I understand the intent correct, this should not be listed using this template since it's not cited.
• There is an uncited sentence in the section "Tinkoff team".
• There's no need to cite material in the lead. You can leave them in if you like, but since everything in the lead should be in the body of the article, and should be cited in the body, there's no need; most editors remove them from the lead to make it look less cluttered.
• There are some places where copyediting is needed -- "which released first albums bands", "it is ranked 45 in terms of assets and 33 – for equity among Russian banks" (what is that dash doing there?), "and later – at the workplaces" (same question), "He brought electrical appliances to Poland and got back from there with office equipment and supplies", "began wholesale electronics trade". That's from a quick look.
• "he brought Japanese household appliances purchased from the miners": really? The miners sold him the appliances?
• I think there are too many short sentences and sections; you probably don't need the subsections in the "Biography" section, for example.

I'm going to stop there for now; a copyedit would help a lot, and at the moment the prose is below GA standard. Let me know when I can take another look. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 18:24, 26 December 2017 (UTC)

Gruznov, are you planning to work on this? If not, I'll close this in a week's time, but if you need more time, just let me know. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:13, 2 January 2018 (UTC)

Failing GA as no work has been done in response to these comments. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:36, 9 January 2018 (UTC)

I did not see your review because of the long Russian New Year holidays. I'm ready to improve the article in the near future, if you open the discussion again. --Gruznov (talk) 14:28, 10 January 2018 (UTC)

Sorry, that was poor timing. If you nominate it again I’ll pick it up for review inside a week at most. In the meantime you can assume I’d give you the same review as above so you may want to go ahead and work on those points. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:45, 10 January 2018 (UTC)