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Talk:Northern Dancer/GA1

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Latest comment: 4 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 4 years ago10 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:37, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • No need to link "racehorse" here, Thoroughbred does enough.
    • done
  • " a Thoroughbred racehorse who in 1964 became the first Canadian-bred to win" maybe " a Thoroughbred who in 1964 became the first Canadian-bred horse to win"
    • done
  • Link sire first time.
    • done
  • Avoid single sentence paras, the second para in the lead should be merged.
    • donce
  • What is "bay"?
    • linked
  • And blaze?
    • linked
  • And socks?
    • linked
  • No need to link "business magnate".
    • done
  • "of Nearctic[5] and" move that ref to the end of the sentence. And you probably should explain the context or relevance of these horses.
    • we decided to just briefly cover his breeding here and then go into further detail in the pedigree section, rather than split it up. should we put some sort of note to readers to this effect?
  • "two-time Leading " no need for capital L.
    • done
  • "He was only 14 hands " the "only" here assumes we realise what that actually means.
    • I added a note about the average height of a Thoroughbred, so he was 8 inches less than average (at the shoulders). Even as a stallion, his ads lied about his height to add an inch or two :)
  • "conformation" link?
    • added
  • " $25,000" Canadian dollar? link.
    • C$ link added
  • "plus excellent " and, not plus. Or even, "along with".
    • I used "along with". The hindquarters were his main source of power. the balance and agility were abilities that let his jockey's adjust tactics on the fly
  • Don't overlink "hands"
  • "he was weighed at 940 pounds" why not just "he weighted 940"?
    • done
  • "Colors: Turquoise, gold d..." where referenced?
    • ref added
  • "a ​5 1⁄2 furlong maiden race" sea of blue, maybe "a maiden race of ​5 1⁄2 furlongs"?
    • wasn't sure where to put the "for Canadian foaled" condition
  • "2-year-" two-year.
    • done
  • Link blinkers
    • done
  • " 124 pounds" you converted the last weight. Be consistent.
    • the first time I was converting how much the horse himself weighed. This time, I'm talking about how much he carried in the race (jockey + equipment). Back in those days, the better horses were frequently forced to carry extra weight to equalize the chances of the other horses. See Handicap_(horse_racing) Converting all these numbers might get a little cluttered. (Especially in the sections where his year-end rankings are assigned)
  • " the Coronation Futurity, +Stakes.
    • done
  • Do we have a link for what a "length" is?
    • done
  • "Northern Dancer remains the Kentucky Derby" only?
    • fixed
  • Link "lame".
    • done
  • "3 year-olds, 1 pound " three, one.
    • done
  • "high weight" what's this?
    • handicapping again. In an actual race, a better horse is assigned a higher weight to equalize the chances of the others, given that carrying extra weight is more tiring. A rule of thumb is two extra pounds costs the horse one length at middle distances. In year end rankings, the differences in the weights reflect how much better the handicapper thinks one horse is compared to the other. Not sure how to cover this all though! A link somewhere to Handicapping?
  • "anked #43" 43rd, or "number 43", per MOS:HASH. More than one of these.
    • fixed. hope I got them all
  • The heading of the Statistics table is brown and that appears (on my browser) to make the sort arrows disappear. No need to make the heading brown.
    • done
  • Odds - use en-dash consistently with the prose.
    • done
  • Margin doesn't sort at all.
    • hopefully works now
  • Blank cells are an abhorrence, maybe N/A or Not known or something.
    • done. I'm trying to find some of the missing two-year-old data but no luck so far
  • No need to abbreviate the date in the table, just use full month names.
    • done
  • Don't overlink, e.g. Windfields Farm, The Blood-Horse etc etc etc
    • done. hopefully got them all
      • Natalma, Native Dancer, yearling, Woodbine, all overlinked in the prose. As are Tapit, stakes winners, gelding, Keeneland, Galileo, blue hen, Sunday Silence... The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:20, 7 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
        • got 'em. blue hen looks like a duplicate because it and blinker both link to the Glossary of North American racing#B
  • "away." [10]" remove space before ref.
    • done
  • "his second-crop" no hyphen needed.
    • done
  • "stakes" link.
    • done
  • "Lyphard resem..." full stop for the caption.
    • done
  • "People magazine " -> "People magazine".
    • done
  • "Notable Progeny" progeny, not Progeny.
    • done
  • No idea why that table is thus formatted, just use a wikitable and don't repeat the refs you already cite at the top of the section.
    • done
  • "Prix Jacques Le Marois " capital L in Le.
    • done
  • "at 2 " two.
    • done
  • "became legendary." not encyclopedic in tone.
    • fixed
  • "Northern Dancer became highly territorial. He ignored " when?
    • removed. not sure where it fits, and its not all that unusual for a stallion to become territorial
  • "having started to experience heart problems and arthritis." so nothing to do with the territorial issues?
    • correct
  • "On November 15, 1990 at" comma after 1990.
    • done
  • "humanely euthanized" POV, humanely is loaded.
    • done
  • "his image placed on a postage stamp" his image placed on should probably go in the link too.
    • added
  • "Also, a life-sized bronze statue of the horse was placed outside Woodbine Race Track in northwest Toronto." unreferenced.
    • added
  • And is it "Race Track" or "Racetrack"?
    • fixed. Woodbine should be Racetrack. Some others are Race Track or Racecourse or Race Course - no consistency!
  • "4 x 5 " use multiplication sign (×) not x.
    • done
  • "Triple Crown winner Justify has six crosses to Northern Dancer" caption needs a full stop.
    • done
  • "As for the Epsom Derby, every winner since 1998 has had Northern Dancer in his pedigree,[114]" the ref is from 2016 so this needs to be dated.
    • hmmm, the sequence is still intact and unlikely to break any time soon given the overwhelming prevalence of Sadlers' Wells/Galileo but its a matter of finding the right source. edited the paragraph accordingly
  • "3x5" likewise, and be consistent with spacing.
    • done
  • "1986.[6][3]" order.
    • done
  • " 4S X 5D," again, ×?
    • done
  • "4th generation " fourth.
    • done
  • "pp. 96-7" page ranges should all be en-dashes not hyphens.
    • done
  • Spaced hyphens should be en-dashes.
    • I think I got them all
  • Avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
    • curse the New York Times! fixed

Plenty here, it's on hold after this first quick pass. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:27, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • I've worked my way about half way through and will continue tomorrow. Jlvsclrk (talk) 22:32, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
    • I've gone through and think I have addressed all of your first round comments. I did have a few questions
Ok, I'm satisfied this meets the GA criteria, so I'm promoting. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 15:03, 8 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
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