Talk:Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri/GA1
Latest comment: 13 years ago by Belovedfreak in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: BelovedFreak 14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- Well writte, lead covers main points. Just a few suggestions below.
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- One link not working.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Neutral and balanced.
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No problems here.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- One free image with appropriate license.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- GA criteria
- The link to artery.com.au is redirecting to their homepage.
- changed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- I'm confused - the link now goes to a painting, but that doesn't support the information in the article. Is that right?--BelovedFreak 11:35, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
- Looks like I f**ked up - not a rare occurrence, really. Now have a look. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:57, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
- That does the trick!
- Further suggestions
Prose
- I'm no expert on this stuff, so by all means take these suggestions with a pinch of salt!
- "Commencing painting in 1997, Ngoia Pollard won a major..." - might sound better starting with the noun: "Ngoia Pollard commenced painting in 1997 and won a major..." - also avoids two "ing"s next to each other
- True, but i've been trying to avoid beginning sentences with her name all the time. Have tweaked it so at least the two -ing issue is fixed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- "She went on to the painting prize..." - should this be She went on to win the painting prize...?
- oops, yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- "Marrying Jack Tjampitjinpa, they moved to Kintore..." - doesn't sound quite right; they doesn't match marrying. Perhaps She married Jack Tjampitjinpa and they moved to Kintore
- yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- "In 1997, Ngoia Pollard began painting independently, and by 2004 won the first prize..." - I think this should be and by 2004 had won the first prize or and in 2004 won the first prize
- yes, the latter. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- "Western Desert artists such as Ngoia Pollard will frequently paint particular 'dreamings', or stories..." - is will necessary here?
- no! hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
Other
- Ok, I know it's only short, I guess I just have a short concentration span, but by the time I got to "Career", I could have used a link to Mount Liebig. It's at that point, when it's directly relevant to her work, that I wanted to click to that article, especially if that article is developed further in the future.
- done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
- Consider adding WP:PERSONDATA template
- done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:17, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
Another great Aussie artist article (alliteration!); just one external link in the references to be fixed and I will be happy to list the article.--BelovedFreak 14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)