Talk:New Glow/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Sebbirrrr in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Sebbirrrr (talk · contribs) 19:16, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article as part of the current backlog drive.
Infobox edit
- Add alt text for the cover
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- The producers should be listed alphabetically by their last names
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
Lead edit
- Add Lightning's release year in brackets
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:03, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "and producer of the duo's self-titled debut Lars Stalfors." → "and Lars Stalfors, who produced the duo's self-titled debut (2006)."
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:03, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "contains a higher amount of cues from mainstream styles than previous releases" → "contains more cues from mainstream styles than their previous releases"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:03, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Schifino's and Johnson's" → "Johnson and Schifino's"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:03, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "it made the top 40 of the" → "it reached the top 40 on the"
- Both Billboard and 200 should be linked to Billboard 200
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "top-five of the" → "top five on the"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- De-link Top Rock Albums
- Did so, but why? The link goes to the specific part of the article about the chart. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "chart" → "charts"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Critical reviews were mixed. Although certain journalists enjoyed" → "Critical reviews were mixed, although certain reviewers enjoyed"
- That's actually the start of the next sentence. The reason that short sentence is there is for variety in sentence length. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot)
- "fun party album" none of the reviewers referred to it as a party album though
- Removed party. The reason I put it there (I think) is because the UTR rev referred to the experience as "land[ing] right back in the party" no matter what track you are on.
- "drying-out of a formula of brainless lyrics and sing-a-long choruses" → this sounds like WP:OR, I recommend re-writing or removing that bit
- See what I wrote about the "Reception" section 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:27, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Background and compossition edit
- "Background and compossition" → "Background and composition"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:07, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "not intending" → did you mean "intending"?
- Nope, the not is intentional. Otherwise that part of the sentence would be fluff. The following Matt Johnson quote further supports this. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Explained Johnson" → "Johnson explained in an interview with The Aquarian Weekly"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "they successfully done" → "they successfully did"
- Successfully fixed. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:13, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "punk-influenced works.[a]" → the note has no text, what's its purpose?
- Bundle cite. Four's the limit before you have to make it a note to make the prose readable. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:07, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- The refs in the note should be arranged in increasing order
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:31, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for the "for example"
- "until the morning starts.[8][1]" → refs should be in increasing order
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:31, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Release and promotion edit
- "a tour supporting" → "a supporting tour"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "depicts the hoodie-wearing Johnson and Schifino skateboarding" → "depicts the duo wearing hoodies and skateboarding"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "including a restaurant filmed for" → "including in front of a restaurant from"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Schifino and Johnson" → "Johnson and Schifino"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:27, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Link lip sync
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "and fans shot themselves" → "and fans recorded themselves"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- Link iPad
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "playing the headshot footage near their heads" → "playing the footage near their faces"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 14:10, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Reception edit
- Refs 25 and 26 should be linked to their respective chart pages
- Man, Billboard has sure changed its website layout for the better, haven't they? Anyway, fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 03:04, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- "However, the album's upon-release critical reviews were mixed" → "Upon release, however, the album received mixed reviews"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Jon Dolan, a critic for" → "Jon Dolan, writing for"
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Where does Jon Dolan mention tiring or repeat listens?
- "But unless you're the kind of person who throws your hands in the air to a salvo like, "We're riding bikes through red lights/We're bulletproof," the cuteness starts to wear thin pretty fast." 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Where does Hays Davis call the album a fun record?
- He doesn't specifically use that word, but he explains in longer sentence that's what he thinks.
- At the beginning, "Matt and Kim’s live shows are riotous, high-flying (literally, in Kim’s case) celebrations of pure joy, and whether or not their albums quite match the levels of that buzz, they’re exactly the right soundtrack for that experience."
- At the end, "Otherwise, however, you can drop the needle pretty much anywhere else on the record and land right back in the party."
- He doesn't specifically use that word, but he explains in longer sentence that's what he thinks.
- "prior Matt & Kim albums" → "Matt & Kim's previous albums"
- Fixed
- "past releases reviewers considered" → "past releases, which reviewers considered"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 20:23, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- "crazy energy and spirit" → WP:OR
- Removed crazy 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "[4][17][7]" → should be in increasing order
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:04, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "a formula of brainless lyrics, sing-a-long choruses and simplicity, to the point where it lost its luster and made the material sound lazy" → this sounds like WP:OR since none of the sources at the end mention any of this
- They do. Again, paraphrasing. Same message with different terminology. Plus, the quotes in the following sentences (which are from the same citations), support this. Additionally
- COS: "While this blissful resistance to sophistication has always been present in Matt and Kim’s work in the past, on New Glow, they seem to have regressed even further from twee hallmarks like “Daylight” or “Let’s Go”."
- AV Club: "The record, clocking in at less than 28 minutes, feels like it was written in 10. Nobody would ever confuse Matt And Kim's straightforward riffs with Beethoven, but they’ve been diminished to near-amateur quality, as if composed by a bored Best Buy customer wandering through the keyboards aisle. [...] Enthusiasm can make up for a lot of shortcomings in this kind of by-the-numbers mod-pop—and the duo is never wanting for spirited execution—but, on New Glow, they’ve either finally dumbed things down too much, or simply reached the end of where this rudimentary songwriting can take them."
- Pitchfork: "From "Get It", a dance track that’s all drop and no sentiment, to "Hoodie On", a thin sartorial pride anthem for the Urban Outfitters set, every song here serves as evidence to the contrary. Even on the selfie-culture critique "World Is Ending", a rare attempt at profundity from a group that doesn’t often concern itself with deep thoughts, the lyrics feel about as considered as a homework assignment scribbled in the minutes before class."
- "brainless" and "lazy" sound more like WP:UNDUE and they're not words you'd exactly find in a good article. I recommend replacing "brainless lyrics" with "lyrics that are not thought out well" and "lazy" with "uneventful". Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Rewritten. I was using "lazy" as synonymous with "amateur" and sounding like it was written in a few minutes. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 20:22, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- They do. Again, paraphrasing. Same message with different terminology. Plus, the quotes in the following sentences (which are from the same citations), support this. Additionally
- "However, the sound and style were not without positive comments" → "Although, the sound and style were given positive comments"
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:06, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Mincher felt New Glow" yet you linked Davis' review at the end
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 01:06, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
Track listing edit
- Why are there no songwriters or producers listed here? They are essential for every album page
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:28, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Credits and personnel edit
- "Adapted from liner notes." → "Credits adapted from the liner notes of New Glow."
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:32, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "All tracks except "Get It" mixed and engineered" → "All tracks except "Get It" were mixed and engineered"
- Pretty sure that would be awkward since this is a list of credits, but done nonetheless 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:32, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "'Get It' recorded and mixed by Andrew Dawson" → "'Get It' mixed by Andrew Dawson and recorded" and link Andrew Dawson
- Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:32, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Charts edit
- Everything is fine here
Notes edit
- See background and composition
References edit
- Copyvio score at 36.7% but it's from AnyDecentMusic
- All sources come from reliable publications (checked them over at WP:RSP)
- For ref 2, type in The Aquarian Weekly instead and link it
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- In ref 3, the author's name is James with one s
- Good catch! 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for SpinMedia in ref 6
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for Now Communications in ref 7
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for The Onion in ref 8
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 22:34, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- Fix MOS:QWQ on ref 9
- Wasn't aware this was a MOS, but I'm glad I learned about it! Thanks!
- Fix archive link in ref 14
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:26, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- No need for Wenner Media in ref 20
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:26, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Fix refs 25 and 26 per reception
- Fixed 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 04:26, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Outcome edit
- On hold for 7 days until all issues are fixed! Sebbirrrr (talk) 21:02, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: I've seen that you edited the article. I've replied to some of your comments. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: everything is fine now so I'm passing! Sebbirrrr (talk) 22:33, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- @HumanxAnthro: I've seen that you edited the article. I've replied to some of your comments. Sebbirrrr (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2022 (UTC)