Talk:Nawa-I-Barakzayi District/GA1

Latest comment: 14 years ago by Jezhotwells in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: –– Jezhotwells (talk) 11:22, 6 April 2010 (UTC)Reply


I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Checking against GA criteria edit

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
    The Russians also had a major operations base out of Lashkar Gah ... "out of"? Does mean "at", "near to"?
    ''On July 2, hundreds of Marines from 1st Battalion, 5th Marines were lifted by helicopter into the village of Nawa-I-Barakzayi, encountering sporadic resistance. The conflict began around 01:00 a.m. local time when Marines were dropped by CH-47s and UH-60s helicopters of the 82nd Airborne Division, into dirt fields around the town of Nawa-I-Barakzayi, south of Lashkar Gah. Is Nawa-I-Barakzayi a village or a town?
    As of February 2010 the Nawa-i-Barakzayi district was governed by Abdul Manaf. He lives in a compound next to a Marine base.[15] The District Administrator was Haji Mohammed Khan. The District Chief of Police was Haji Muhammed Nafex Kahn. The Afghan National Army in the area was led by Captain Saki Dad. The International Security Assistance Force main representative was Lieutenant Colonel Matt Baker of the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines.[34] Ian Purves was the representative from Provincial Reconstruction Team - Helmand. Scott Dempsey was the rep from USAI
    As of February 2010 its bazaar had more than 100 shops, as opposed to 6 before Operation Strike of the Sword. After the Taliban fled in 2009 the marketplace reopened, its bazaar, presumably the village or town, Nawa-I-Barakzayi?
    I made a number of copy-edits.[1]
Comment - Think I fixed the ones you had; thanks for helping out with the others. Palm_Dogg (talk) 23:56, 6 April 2010 (UTC)Reply
  1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    I found three dead links using WP:CHECKLINKS, two were AP stories, one the Philadelphai Inquirer
    A number of references are just URLs with a title. They need to be consistently formatted with the others, using citation templates; giving publication date, access date, publisher details, author where known.
    A number of reference titles are in Block Capitals, they need to be rendered in a consistent mannner with the rest
    ref #32 [2] I had doubts about, but I accept that the author is an expert in this field.
    All other references are OK, all RS, all statements supported.
    I corrected the geo-coordinates which had been pointing at Helmand town
Comment - All dead links have been removed or replaced. Reference titles have been fixed. Other citations have been properly formated. Palm_Dogg (talk) 18:24, 8 April 2010 (UTC)Reply
  1. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    In the last paragraph of Afghan Civil War we find the sentences: After the Soviet withdrawal, they administered the area for the Afghan government until they were overrun by the Akhundzadas in 1993.[3] The Akhundzada victory was short-lived, however, as the Taliban conquered Nawa-i-Barakzayi along with rest of Helmand in late 1994 and early 1995. Then, immediately after in the section Operation Enduring Freedom: we have the first sentence: In July 2006 the Taliban chased out the police and seized control of the town of Nawa-I-Barakzayi. They held it for two weeks before being driven out by NATO and Afghan soldiers. There seems to be a whole eleven years worth of history here, including whatever effects the six or seven rule of the Taliban had and then the subsequent invasion of 2001 post 9/11.
    There is nothing on the history of the area prior to the Afghan Civil War. This is a major omission. I realize that most sources are recent and focussed on the last thirty years or so, but Afghanistan is an ancient country. Only fifty miles away at the Battle of Maiwand, in 1880 the British Armay suffered catastrophic losses. The canal systems predate the USAID developments of the 1950s and 60s. The area lies on ancient routes between Iran and the Hindhu Kush. Surely there is more to be said about this. It might be in old Indian Army documents or the writings of medieval travellers. At the moment the article concentrates quite heavily on recent history.
  2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  3. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  4. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
    The imagery is fine, but all recent US military, pictures of generals addressing people is all very well, but are there no old images to be found?
Comment - If there are, I can't find them. God knows I looked pretty hard. Palm_Dogg (talk) 23:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)Reply
  1. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
    On hold for seven days for the issues outlineabove to be addressed. –– Jezhotwells (talk) 13:21, 6 April 2010 (UTC)Reply
    OK, I think this article is sufficiently improved to merit GA status. I removed the authorlinks from the cites as these are meant to link to Wikipedia articles, not external URLs. This is why they were not displaying properly.
    Further development: It would be good to find a little information about the pre civil war history, also the period between the Soviet evacuation and the US led invasion. I accept that it is very difficult to find such information, but i would suggest looking at 1950s and 60 USAID reports, which give a little background, also the writings of Scott, Richard B - there seems to be a lot of useful material there and most is online. If you cannot find anything, then I should consider the name change suggested in the peer review. –– Jezhotwells (talk) 13:47, 11 April 2010 (UTC)Reply