Talk:Nashville Xpress/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Usernameunique in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 01:38, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Lead
- The second paragraph could use a more fluid transition from the first (e.g., a topic sentence along the lines of "Formerly known as the Charlotte Knights, the Xpress were formed after the 1992 season when...").
- I've changed the paragraph using your suggestion almost verbatim. NatureBoyMD (talk) 03:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Arrival
Facing an International League enfranchisement cost of about US$5 million, he solicited offers to purchase the club
— Meaning he was trying to defray the cost of establishing a AAA team, by selling his AA team?- Yes. I've reworded this part. NatureBoyMD (talk) 03:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
In October 1992, Shinn chose to sell
— Any word on what the price was to be?- Added the asking price; sale price was not disclosed. NatureBoyMD (talk) 03:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- Why didn't the relocation to Nashville raise territorial concerns similar to those of the proposed move to New Orleans, given that Nashville already had a AAA team?
- With New Orleans, two teams wanted the city as their permanent home, but only one would get it. It wouldn't make financial sense for two teams with separate owners to compete in the same city. Nashville, on the other hand, was only meant to be a temporary solution. What's more, Schmittou owned Nashville's existing team and would operate it along side the Xpress. In the end, he was competing with himself, but no one seemed to mind as the Sounds weren't really inconvenienced and it helped Shinn and the Southern League out of a jam: what to do with a homeless team. NatureBoyMD (talk) 03:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
1993 season
Rich Becker giving the Xpress all the runs they needed
— A bit jargoney- Reworded. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
At one point in the first half, Nashville held a 15–4 record with a three-and-a-half game lead over the second-place Memphis Chicks.
— I'm not really sure what the point of this sentence is, and 3.5 game lead is pretty good for only 19 games into the season.- Sentence removed. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Todd Ritchie was shutdown due to shoulder injury.
— "shutdown" may be a bit too jargoney without a link. Also, is it not normally "shut down"?- Reworded: "...unable to play due to a shoulder injury." NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Oscar Múñoz was chosen to receive the Southern League Most Outstanding Pitcher Award after compiling an 11–4 record
— So he didn't get another win between the all-star break and being called up?- Correct, he made two starts after the break: one no decision, one loss. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
The team paced the Southern League
— Jargon.- You changed it to "led" during your copyedit. :) NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
and passed balls (9).
— Meaning fewest passed balls?- Yes. Added "fewest" . NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Changing owners
- Charleston Wheelers — Single-A? AA?
- Added "Class A" a little later in that sentence. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
1994 season
Despite winning 27 of 40 games before being eliminated
— "Despite winning 27 of the final 40 first-half games"?- Not exactly. They won 27 games over the 40 games up to the day they were eliminated. There were still a few to play before the end of the first half. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
as did Hawkins (9–2; 2.33 ERA) after his promotion to Triple-A made him ineligible.
— How many days before the all-star game was he called up?- About two weeks before. I rewrote the part about Hawkins and Barcelo missing the game to put the emphasis on Hawkins. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
it was time for the franchise to leave its temporary hometown for another.
— Not sure about the tone here.- I took another stab at it. NatureBoyMD (talk) 14:36, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Departure
- Looks like the team is now (or will be, if this season ever gets underway) known as the Rocket City Trash Pandas. A bit gratuitous, but with a name like that, how about adding the update?
Players
- Any point in a separate "Coaches" section? You've already named the manager and pitching/batting coaches, but were there others (e.g., bench coach, trainer) that are worth mentioning?
- I don't know. I started to write one, but I feel like it would only regurgitate what's already there: their names and general team stats (batting average, HR, RBI, wins, ERA, Ks). There's not much more to say without going off on a tangent about their careers. I did mention the trainer, who was the only other member of the coaching staff not mentioned. NatureBoyMD (talk) 15:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Career records
- If I'm reading this right, no position player on the chart played in more than one Xpress season (i.e., all played in either 1993 or 1994, but not both), but every pitcher on the chart played in both 1993 and 1994?
- Correct. NatureBoyMD (talk) 15:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
References
- There's some inconsistency in when you use the {{cite web}} as opposed to {{cite newspaper}} template. This results in some visual inconsistencies such as where the date is placed in each citation. I would use the cite newspaper template for any newspaper (including those from newspapers.com), as you're citing the newspapers and the website is just your way of accessing them.
- 1: Missing "– via Newspapers.com". It also doesn't need a retrieval date, since you're citing the underlying newspaper, which (unlike a website) is static and thus will appear the same on whatever date it is retrieved.
- 2–10, 12: Don't need retrieval dates.
- 13–15, 17: Don't need retrieval dates. Also, missing "– via Newspapers.com".
- 19–20: Don't need retrieval dates.
- 22: Is this a reliable source for what the playoff procedures were in 1993?
- 23–24, 26–30, 37–39, 42–48: Don't need retrieval dates.
- 49–50: Don't need retrieval dates. Also, missing "– via Newspapers.com".
- 51, 53–64, 69, 71–72: Don't need retrieval dates.
- 73: Doesn't need retrieval date, although more arguable than the newspapers.com ones.
- 74–77: Don't need retrieval dates.
- I've changed to {{cite newspaper}}, removed access-dates, and added missing "vias" to the refs indicated above. I removed reference 22 and replaced with existing refs for season length, two halves, and qualifying for postseason with best mark in first half. NatureBoyMD (talk) 22:26, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Overall
- Nice article, NatureBoyMD. Comments above. --Usernameunique (talk) 01:59, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: Thanks. I think I've addressed all of your comments. Please let me know if you see anything else. NatureBoyMD (talk) 15:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- NatureBoyMD, looks good. I realize I neglected to take a look at the sources, which I have just done; take a look and see what you think. --Usernameunique (talk) 15:40, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: I believe I've made all the changes to references as mentioned above. (Thanks for the note on retrieval dates with Newspapers.com; it hadn't occurred to me before.) NatureBoyMD (talk) 22:26, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks, NatureBoyMD, passing now. Hope to see this at FAC. --Usernameunique (talk) 15:54, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: I believe I've made all the changes to references as mentioned above. (Thanks for the note on retrieval dates with Newspapers.com; it hadn't occurred to me before.) NatureBoyMD (talk) 22:26, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- NatureBoyMD, looks good. I realize I neglected to take a look at the sources, which I have just done; take a look and see what you think. --Usernameunique (talk) 15:40, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: Thanks. I think I've addressed all of your comments. Please let me know if you see anything else. NatureBoyMD (talk) 15:02, 22 April 2020 (UTC)