Talk:Nap Lajoie/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 21:48, 7 October 2012 (UTC) I will review this.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 21:48, 7 October 2012 (UTC)

WP:LEAD

• The Frenchman s/b bold too.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 07:08, 10 October 2012 (UTC)
• I have not read the article, but the LEAD seems to neglect his defensive prowess. He led the league in 2B putouts 5 times and assists 3 times.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 07:08, 10 October 2012 (UTC)

There is some controversy to his defensive prowess (what stats aren't debated by historians?). Nonetheless, I seemed to have missed inserting this and will look at sources and look to add. Zepppep (talk) 05:53, 12 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done Zepppep (talk) 10:51, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

Early life

• "which forced he and his siblings to work to support the family." he-->him.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:59, 12 October 2012 (UTC)
• "When word of Lajoie's baseball ability spread" comma.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:59, 12 October 2012 (UTC)
• Adjust the dollar amounts for inflation (see Joe Kelley).--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:59, 12 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done Zepppep (talk) 05:53, 12 October 2012 (UTC)

N

May I know what the red x refers to? Personally I think it's a bit overkill to put the figure next to each and every dollar figure, but let me know if you believe that should be expected for GA (I have added terms to when the amounts are quite divergent or when there is considerable gaps between dollar figures, as this might not be convenient for the reader to calculate, but if you think they'd need to be placed next to each and every figure, please let me know). Zepppep (talk) 10:51, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

At a minimum you need one dollar conversion for each different year that dollars are being presented. I see you have now done this.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 05:50, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for clarifying. I was a little confused when I saw the red x after I made the additions. Zepppep (talk) 06:31, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

Philadelphia Phillies and Athletics

• "Lajoie was "the first superstar" to join the AL and whose contract was for $4,000." is ungrammatical. You could either put a comma after AL and change whose to his" or you could end the sentence at AL and then convey the rest of the content in a separate sentence.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:41, 14 October 2012 (UTC)
• "Through the 2008 season, only four other players have done it since: Del Bissonette, Bill Nicholson, Barry Bonds, and Josh Hamilton" change have to had.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:41, 14 October 2012 (UTC)
  • Can you find a source to update this?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:47, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

Removed it. Thought it was a bit trivial. Source lists one additional player and I'm not a huge fan of "did you know that only XX, XX, XX, and XX did the same thing?" in articles.

• Change " and led the majors and set" to "and led the majors with"--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:41, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done Zepppep (talk) 13:32, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

Cleveland Bronchos/Naps

• " the club changed its name from the Blues to the Naps" Blues?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:10, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

Yes, they were known by that name for one season. I added a ref. (Some fans reverted to calling them that colloquially during tough seasons, and since it was the team's first official name, old habits died hard.)

• " In the off-season he contracted pleurisy during the winter." seems redundant since the offseason and winter are the same thing.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:10, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

I guess I was just trying to be specific, as the off-season consists of winter and spring, but I've removed "winter." Zepppep (talk) 06:31, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

• "Lajoie requested Somers to trade him" s/b Lajoie requested that Somers trade him.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:10, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done Zepppep (talk) 06:31, 15 October 2012 (UTC)

Rivalry with Ty Cobb

• Is it possible to merge or expand the last two stubby paragraphs.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:34, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done I decided against expansion since there is a main article covering the rivalry. Instead, I merged the first para into the last para of the Cobb section, and put the last sentence (career stats) in the Legacy section; I feel his career stats being mentioned nicely leads into the next sentence (which mentions his HoF induction). Zepppep (talk) 18:01, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

• All images need {{personality rights}}.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 07:52, 20 October 2012 (UTC)

I might need a little instruction on what needs to be done in this regard. Any pointers? Zepppep (talk) 08:06, 20 October 2012 (UTC)

Add this template at the commons page for each image.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:52, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

Yes, I got that far. But of the few files I looked at as a guide on Commons I didn't see this template in use (perhaps the text is changed once the template has been saved to the file?). I also see from Commons [1] Personality rights warning, for images of an identifiable person who is alive or deceased recently; Lajoie died more than 50 years ago. If you feel this is needed, do you have a file I can look at to get instruction, or a link of better instructions on how this would be added? Or maybe you can just add it to one of the files and let me look afterwards? Added the template to each of the images used for this article (3). Zepppep (talk) 02:39, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

Legacy

• Can you expand or merge the last four paragraphs.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:54, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

 Done Merged, with a little rearranging as well. Zepppep (talk) 18:08, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

• I am PASSING this article now.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 07:29, 31 October 2012 (UTC)