Talk:Nao Hibino/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by JamesAndersoon in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 19:14, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
I'll review this article. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 19:14, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
Infobox
edit- Above the infobox, her native name 日比野 菜緒 can be moved into the infobox itself under the native_name parameter (see Aryna Sabalenka for instance)
- Japan doesn't need to be linked twice in the infobox.
Lead
edit- professional tennis player from Japan ===>>> Japanese professional tennis player
- as high as singles No. 56 and doubles No. 43 in the world ===>>> as high as No. 56 in the world in singles and No. 43 in doubles
- split the sentence with the WTA and ITF titles into two separate sentences
- Hibino has won two singles and two doubles titles on the WTA Tour. Along with that, she has won eight singles and eight doubles on the International Tennis Federation Women's Circuit (ITF). JamesAndersoon (talk) 10:49, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- The lead should be longer, and have a second paragraph. Some things you might want to add are
Personal life
edit- She came from a family of tennis lovers. She is named ===>>> Coming from a tennis-loving family, she is named
- The citations to [1] are a bit too close to copying or plagiarism.
- At the age of 10, her mother introduced her and her older brother to tennis to shift their attention from playing video games to sports. ===>>> At the age of 10, her mother introduced her and her older brother to tennis to get her brother to switch his focus from video games to sports. (Lessen copying; and the source only mentions it was only her brother who played video games)
- How about: At the age of 10, she and her brother were introduced to tennis by their mother. JamesAndersoon (talk) 10:49, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- she moved to Kobe ===>>> Hibino moved to Kobe (The first mention of Hibino in each paragraph should always be "Hibino", and never "she")
- she does not usually live with them ===>>> she rarely gets the chance to live with them (Lessen copying)
- Agree. Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 10:48, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- often reads when she has time ===>>> often reads in her spare time (Lessen copying)
- Travelling has given Hibino the chance to eat local foods and visit famous places. ====>>> Hibino enjoys eating local foods and sightseeing at famous places while travelling on tour. (Lessen copying)
Junior
edit- I know YoungDylan/188.105.3.119 was the one who did this, but the Grade 1 tournaments, etc. shouldn't have a hyphen between in the name.
- Grade-1 Dunlop Japan Open ===>>> Grade 1 Japan Open (remove Dunlop because it is a sponsor)
- in both singles and doubles ===>>> in both the singles and doubles
- first singles junior title ===>>> first junior singles title
- Grade-A Osaka Mayor's Cup ===>>> the Grade A Osaka Mayor's Cup
- she was advanced ===>>> she advanced
- Things got better in doubles, ===>>> She had a better result in doubles,
- she failed in the first round ===>>> she lost in the first round
- reached her most significant result ===>>> ("had" or "achieved") her most significant result
- as well in doubles ===>>> in doubles as well
- Her singles performances then started to weaken, falling in the early rounds ===>>> Her singles performance then started to decline, as she lost in the early rounds
- such as French Open, Wimbledon, Canadian Open, US Open, Osaka Mayor's Cup, or Dunlop Japan Open ===>>> such as the French Open, Wimbledon, the Canadian Open, the US Open, the Osaka Mayor's Cup, and the Japan Open
- doubles were an exceptions ===>>> doubles were an exception
- singles quarter-finals and title ===>>> a singles quarter-final and a doubles title
- passed with no success ===>>> had little success
- the second round in singles and first round in doubles. ===>>> a second round appearance in singles and a first round appearance in doubles.
- Grade-1 Mitsubishi-Lancer International Juniors Championships ===>>> the Grade-1 Mitsubishi-Lancer International Juniors Championships
- she has won four singles ===>>> , she won four singles
- at the ITF Junior Circuit ===>>> on the ITF Junior Circuit
2012–14
edit- qualification ===>>> qualifying draw
- $25K Karuizawa ===>>> $25K tournament in Karuizawa
- main-draw ===>>> the main draw
- handed ===>>> given
- It turned out to be the right decision as she won the title ===>>> It turned out to be the right decision as she won the title
- led her on WTA Rankings ===>>> put her on the WTA Rankings
- getting to place No. 974 ===>>> getting to No. 974
- getting to the place of 1066 ===>>> getting to No. 1066
- the first four months (add "of 2013")
- After three weeks ===>>> Three weeks later
- Things got better ===>>> Her results improved
- fellow Japanese (add "player")
- at the WTA Tour ===>>> on the WTA Tour
- qualifications ===>>> qualifying draw
- Nearly after that ===>>> Not long after that
- passed the first round of qualifications ===>>> made it through the first round of the qualifying draw
- stopped ===>>> beaten
- was advanced to the ===>>> advanced to a
- qualifications ===>>> qualifying
- in the singles ranking ===>>> in the singles rankings
- the place of 204 ===>>> No. 204
- as her highest singles ranking until then ===>>> her highest singles ranking at the time.
2015
edit- In general, when naming ITF tournaments, use the format "$__K Name of City tournament" (in other words, include the word "tournament" at the end)
- In general, the "qualifying draw" can be shortened to "qualifying" (see examples below), but not "qualifications"
- still forced to play ===>>> still limited to playing
- doing well ===>>> to excel
- $15K Bangkok ===>>> $15K Bangkok tournament
- was advanced ===>>> advanced
- $50K Fukuoka ===>>> $50K Fukuoka tournament
- failed to Kristýna Plíšková in order to get the title ===>>> failed to win the title against Kristýna Plíšková
- $50K Kurume ===>>> $50K Kurume tournament
- Wimbledon qualifications ===>>> Wimbledon qualifying
- followed up ===>>> but followed up
- $50K Lexington ===>>> $50K Lexington tournament
- final stage of qualifications ===>>> final stage of qualifying
- enter qualification ===>>> enter qualifying
- helped her debuting ===>>> helped her debut
- up to the place of 76 ===>>> up to No. 76
- she was advanced ===>>> she advanced
- WTA 125K Hua Hin ===>>> WTA 125K Hua Hin tournament
- $100K Tokyo ===>>> $100K Tokyo tournament
- to the place of 66 ===>>> to No. 66
- singles ranking ===>>> singles rankings
2016–17
edit- Having made it to the top-100 and relatively few WTA main draws in previous years, Hibino mostly played tour-level events in 2016. ===>>> Having made it to relatively few WTA main draws in previous years, Hibino mostly played tour-level events in 2016 as a result of being in the top 100.
- She entered the year ===>>> She began the year
- the quarter-final of the ===>>> a quarter-final at the
- top-50 player ===>>> top 50 player
- Next week ===>>> The next week
- she was advanced ===>>> she advanced
- the first week following the Australian Open <<<=== isn't it the week before the Australian Open?
- She made her highest singles ranking the following week, when Australian Open started. How about: Right after that, she reached her highest-singles ranking in the first week of the following Australian Open. JamesAndersoon (talk) 16:35, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- improvement with ranking ===>>> improvement in ranking
- she was not forced to play Grand Slam qualification ===>>> she did not have to play in Grand Slam qualifying
- , so she ===>>> and
- There she faced former world No. 1, Maria Sharapova, in the first round and failed to reach the following one. ===>>> In her debut, she lost to former world No. 1 Maria Sharapova in the first round.
- Her improvement
journey - cruised ===>>> defeated
- of the WTA 1000 Indian Wells and Miami Open ===>>> at the WTA 1000 Indian Wells and Miami Open tournaments
- some tour-level event ===>>> a tour-level event
- she
wasadvanced - made her revenge on Begu ===>>> this time she was able to defeat Begu
- At the US Open, she made her debut to complete at least the first round at all four Grand Slams ===>>> With her debut at the US Open, she played the main draw at all four Grand Slam tournaments, but again lost in the first round.
- the final of the ===>>> a final at the
- the title at the $100K Poitiers ===>>> the title at the $100K Poitiers tournament
insidethere- forced playing in some qualifications ===>>> forced to play some qualifying draws
- being knocked out in either the first round of qualifications at the Australian Open or WTA 1000 Dubai. Indian Wells and Miami Open ===>>> after being knocked out in the first round at the Australian Open, she lost in qualifying at several WTA 1000 tournaments, including the Dubai Tennis Championships, the Indian Wells Open, and the Miami Open.
- gets a walkover victory due to withdrew of Elina Svitolina ===>>> got a walkover victory due to withdrawal of Elina Svitolina.
- Then, the following victories ===>>> Subsequent victories
- defeated Dalila Jakupović and Nadiia Kichenok (add "in the final")
- Her crashing out in qualifications continued at the WTA 1000 Madrid and Rome ===>>> Her losing in qualifying at WTA 1000 tournaments continued in Madrid and Rome.
- first-round losses of the ===>>> first-round losses at the
- since March of the same year ===>>> for the first time since March
- She has done it at the ===>>> She did so at the
- the three-sets match ===>>> a three-set match
- that is so far her highest doubles ranking ===>>> , her highest doubles ranking
- spends ===>>> spent
- being inside the top 110 for ===>>> being outside for
2018–21
edit- In the title, put "Inconsistency" or "Up and downs", but not both (and no parentheses)
- starts to struggle ===>>> started to struggle
- The poor results dragged on ranking as well, falling outside the top 100 ===>>> She fell outside the top 100
- not returning ===>>> did not return
- In doubles, she did not shine as well but reached the final ===>>> In doubles, she fared better, reaching the final
- However, she was forced to return ===>>> With a lower singles ranking, she dropped back to the ITF Circuit.
- but her first final came in July at the $60K Honolulu in the singles event[9] and later first doubles title of the year at the $100K Suzhou in October ===>>> . Her first final came in July at the $60K Honolulu singles event. She later won first doubles title of the year at the $100K Suzhou event in October.
- midtime ===>>> meantime
- she did not get further than the first round, or qualifications of Australian Open, French Open or US Open ===>>> she lost in the first round at the Australian Open did not get past qualifying at the French Open or US Open.
- She was crushed out in the qualifications of all four Grand Slams ===>>> She lost in qualifying at all four Grand Slam tournaments
- on WTA 1000 tournaments ===>>> in WTA 1000 tournaments
- at least quarter-final ===>>> at least a quarter-final
- on the tour-level events since the begging ===>>> in any tour-level events since the beginning
- two top 100 (add "players")
- on the same WTA events in the same year ===>>> in the same WTA tournament
- On her next three ===>>> In her next three
- other great results ===>>> more great results
- she
wasadvanced - then with the final of the ===>>> by a final at the
- , and a month later ===>>> . A month later
- $100K Shenzhen (add "tournament").
- losing in qualifications of ===>>> losing in qualifying at
- in the opening week (add "of 2020")
- three wins in qualifications ===>>> three wins in qualifying
- she cruised Peng Shuai ===>>> she defeated Peng Shuai
- Victory over Shuai was her first Grand Slam win ===>>> The victory over Peng was her second Grand Slam singles match win.
- to the top-100 ===>>> to the top 100
- she
wasadvanced - the second semi-final ===>>> her second semi-final
- to reach the final ===>>> to miss the final
- defeat over ===>>> victory over
- knocked her out ===>>> knocked Hibino out
- Leave this section as 2018–20 and start a new section for 2021? (Also, fill in that section.)
National representation
edit- Cite this section. The BJK Cup website will definitely help.
- played
perone match - potential win could secure a win ===>>> a win from her would secure a team win
- her team
madelost - managing to make a turnover. ===>>> managed to make a comeback.
- in World Group II Play-offs next year ===>>> in the World Group II Play-offs the next year
- but this time ===>>> , which
- the win and loss for Japan, ===>>> a win and loss for Japan,
- spot ===>>> a spot
- Things got better in ===>>> Japan's situation improved in
- letting her win only three games. Hibino was set to play against Richèl Hogenkamp but since it was obvious that Japan won, the match was canceled. ===>>> letting her win only three games to help Japan win the tie. (You don't need to mention the dead rubber.)
Playing style
edit- a powerful strike from the same player ===>>> powerful groundstrokes (What does "the same player" refer to?)
- Done. Removing of "same". JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:59, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
Coach
edit- former male Japanese player ===>>> male Japanese former player (He is a former player, not a former male.)
Apparel
edit- Capitalize Le Coq Sportif.
Tables
edit- The Dubai/Qatar note should end with something like "The Premier 5 tournaments were reclassified as WTA 1000 tournaments in 2021."
- You can put her year-end doubles rankings in the table.
- Updated. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:55, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
Citations
edit- "admin" does not really count as an author. You can just leave it blank in any of these instances. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 18:51, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
Overall
edit- Expand
- (1) The lead, and
- (2) The 2021 section, probably separating it from 2018–20
- Common mistakes (all pointed out above)
- "was advanced" should just be "advanced"
- If you refer to an ITF event as "$00K City Name", it should be followed by "tournament" (as in "$00K City Name tournament")
- I don't think "qualification" or "qualifications" are correct terms. I more commonly see "qualifying draw" or just "qualifying" (for example, "Hibino lost in the qualifying draw at the Antarctic Open" or "Hibino lost in qualifying at the Antarctic Open".)
Overall, the structure looks pretty good. Mainly just the minor grammatical issues (and expanding two sections). Let me know if you have any questions. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 02:04, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
- JamesAndersoon, alright, looks good! I did the last few tweaks myself. Passing, good work! Apologies for taking so long with the review. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 14:55, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
- Sportsfan77777 Thank you! My apology also for late respond after your first review. JamesAndersoon (talk) 16:25, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
Status query
editSportsfan77777, JamesAndersoon, where does this nomination stand? I see that the review was completed and put on hold over four weeks ago. I posted a ping on JamesAndersoon's page back on October 9, but there has been no attempt by them to return to this review or the article and address the issues raised above, despite them having made over 250 edits on Wikipedia in the past week. Sportsfan77777, you might wish to set a deadline on addressing the issues you've raised—normal time on hold is seven days, which is long past. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:04, 18 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'll see if I can get their attention. They had to wait a pretty long while to get this article reviewed, so I wouldn't be surprised if it takes longer than usual to respond to the review. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 22:24, 20 October 2021 (UTC)
- Sportsfan77777, it looks like you did get their attention. How does it look now? BlueMoonset (talk) 01:50, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- BlueMoonset, you could call it failed. Sportsfan77777 is not interested in further review. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:25, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
- No, I just forgot about it. I'll get to it. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 15:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
- BlueMoonset, you could call it failed. Sportsfan77777 is not interested in further review. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:25, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
- Sportsfan77777, it looks like you did get their attention. How does it look now? BlueMoonset (talk) 01:50, 28 October 2021 (UTC)