Talk:Music for a Time of War/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Bruce1ee in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

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Reviewer: Bruce1ee (talk · contribs) 13:25, 19 February 2013 (UTC)Reply

I'll be reviewing this nomination, and I'll follow up here with my findings over the next couple of days. —Bruce1eetalk 13:25, 19 February 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thanks so much. Looking forward to your comments. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:22, 19 February 2013 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    See comments below ...
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
    See comments below ...
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:  
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  
    See comments below ...
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
    See comments below ...
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    See comments below ...
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  
Comments
  • 1A.
    • In the lead infobox, Sanford Sylvan is listed as a guest musician, yet nowhere in the article does it say he was a guest.
    • Lead section: "The recording sessions marked the Oregon Symphony's first performances ...", why are they called "recording sessions", they were live performances that happened to have been recorded?
      • Done. Changed "recording sessions" to "concerts". Changed the order of the lead a bit in the process. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply
    • Lead section: "In October 2011 the recording was released by Dutch record label", suggest adding "on CD" after "released".
    • Lead section: "... the recording debuted at number 31 on Billboard's Classical Albums chart. The album made several lists of the best classical recordings of 2011.", suggest joining these two sentences, "... Billboard's Classical Albums chart, and made several lists ...".
    • Program: "The existential composition ...", I think "existential" should be quoted, just as "ambiguous" is, to show it is the source's interpretation of the work, otherwise it could be seen as POV; but I'm open to suggestion.
    • Program: "Boult considered this dissonant work ...", as above, I think "dissonant" should be quoted, or say that the program described the work as "dissonant"; again I'm open to suggestion.
    • Performances and broadcasts/Reception: The section refers to Sylvan's vocals – did he sing (or recite), the Personnel section makes no mention of this?
    • Album: "Music for a Time of War was released through the Dutch record label", suggest adding "on CD" after "released".
    • Album: "John Newton and Jesse Lewis were the recording engineers mastering and authoring was conducted by Jesse Brayman.", should there be a comma or semicolon between "engineers" and "mastering"?
    • Album: "... totals nearly 78 minutes in length.", the infobox says it's 78:04 – perhaps "nearly" should be replaced with something like "just over".
    • Close paraphrasing/copyright violations: everything seems fine, except for one small thing – the article uses the phrase "emotional engagement", which is also used in the source, which could be seen as a little too close.
      • Done. Hmm, that does not seem like something I would write without including quotation marks. I won't take the time to determine if that was my mistake or if a change was made to the article by another editor. Thanks! --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • 4.
    • At first glance it bothered me that the article heaps so much praise on the Oregon Symphony, which could be seen as being biased towards them. But most of this praise is supported by reliable secondary sources, and if there just wasn't any bad press, I guess then the article can't be seen as being biased.
      • Agreed. Bias is always a concern of mine, but I think the article accurately reflects how the subject was perceived. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:22, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply

Please have a look at the above issues I've found. Otherwise, it's a nicely written article with a good coverage of the subject. —Bruce1eetalk 14:04, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for your time and assistance. I am in the process of addressing your concerns. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:23, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply
I believe I have addressed all of your concerns. Please review my changes and let me know if you have any other comments or concerns. Again, thank you so much. More work on this article remains, but I am so proud of its current state and have several Wikipedians to thank for their assistance, yourself included. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:49, 20 February 2013 (UTC)Reply
Everything looks fine now, I've promoted it to GA. Thanks for your fixes and all your hard work on this article. I've enjoyed doing this review and it's been a pleasure working with you. —Bruce1eetalk 06:39, 21 February 2013 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.