Talk:Murder of Bianca Devins/GA3

Latest comment: 3 years ago by DMT biscuit in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

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  • "Although police reports say the murder was premeditated" - why does this sentence abruptly stop?
  • Good question, it was recent edit that slipped by, my bad. Fixed by implementing it into the last sentence.
  • "attention by news" - doesn't sound right. maybe reword to "attention from the news"

Background

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  • "called him as obsessive" → "called him obsessive"
  • Pokémon should be in italics.
  • Link Albany, New York.
  • "she ran away to" - 'away' and 'to' are opposites. maybe "away with"?
  • 4chan.[5][2] → 4chan.[2][5]

Murder

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  • Serial comma after "Devins, Clark".
  • Is the comma after "her and Alex" necessary?
  • Remove the comma after "dead-end road".
  • Add a comma after "one from Clark".
  • police arrived.[7][6][2][16] → police arrived.[2][6][7][16]
  • family.[5][7][2] → family.[2][5][7]
  • The third paragraph should mention that Clark survived his suicide attempt.

Reaction

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  • The #pinkcloudsforbianca image/caption should also be explained in prose.
  • A mobile user would see the image before the text, so explain what "the images" were.
  • If you're linking YouTube, also link Twitter and Reddit.
  • Add a serial comma after "YouTube, Twitter".
  • Also after "cropped, realigned".
  • Remove the comma after "in the trial".

Aftermath

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  • Serial comma after "kill someone".
  • "share results" → "share the results"
  • Remove the comma after Marianne Buttenschon.
  • "which would" → "that would"

References

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  • Update source title for #9 ("who killed teen" → "who killed Bianca Devins")
  • A few sources can still be archived.
  • That's about it. Excellent sourcing.  

Progress

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

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