Talk:Mr. Mime/GA1
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Pokelego999 (talk · contribs) 22:20, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 15:10, 7 June 2024 (UTC)
So far, I have performed GAN reviews of character articles by two editors, and here is one that was made by both of them. Full review should be coming shortly. QuicoleJR (talk) 15:10, 7 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Pokelego999 and Kung Fu Man: Alright, I have read through the article, and I have a good number of comments. The article is good overall, it just needs a bit of work. QuicoleJR (talk) 17:27, 7 June 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR I believe the issues you mentioned are patched up. I will note that the specific game appearances were done because they were the only ones I could source, though that is the bulk of main series appearances not elaborated on in further detail in the paragraph. In any case, let us know if anything else needs fixing. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (talk) 20:11, 7 June 2024 (UTC)
- Been busier than expected today, will look through the article again tomorrow. QuicoleJR (talk) 01:40, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Pokelego999 and Kung Fu Man: I have just a few more things to fix. This review should be done pretty soon.
- Why is 1UP.com specifically singled out in the lead?
- The lead should mention the scene from the Detective Pikachu movie. I would argue it is more important for the lead to include than the anime and manga appearances.
Mr. Mime was cited by writer Vincenzo Idone Cassone as an example of fans making "playful mocking" out of dissonant elements in the series, with the relation between Delia and Mr. Mime in the anime being highlighted as an example of fans taking many unrelated elements to construct a comedic explanation to explain them.
I can't figure out what this is supposed to mean.- Should the category “fictional butlers” be used for this article? It only applies to one member of the species, so wouldn't it make more sense as a category on the redirect made for that character?
- QuicoleJR (talk) 18:23, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR rewrote the lead to account for your suggestions, and did my best to clarify the Cassone source. Let me know if that needs additional rephrasing. Removed the fictional butlers category as well per your above statement, and applied it to the "Mimey" redirect. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (talk) 18:45, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Pokelego999 and Kung Fu Man: I don't see any more major issues stopping this article from becoming a GA, so I will now promote it. QuicoleJR (talk) 15:13, 11 June 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR rewrote the lead to account for your suggestions, and did my best to clarify the Cassone source. Let me know if that needs additional rephrasing. Removed the fictional butlers category as well per your above statement, and applied it to the "Mimey" redirect. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (talk) 18:45, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR I believe the issues you mentioned are patched up. I will note that the specific game appearances were done because they were the only ones I could source, though that is the bulk of main series appearances not elaborated on in further detail in the paragraph. In any case, let us know if anything else needs fixing. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (talk) 20:11, 7 June 2024 (UTC)
Lead
editMr. Mime are gifted with the art of miming at a young age.
What does this mean?as well as for combining the worst-perceived aspects of mimes and clowns.
I'm not sure what “worst-perceived” means here.However, the character's design has also been praised by other sources in comparison to more common series characters.
Was it positively compared to more common characters, or did it receive more praise than more common characters? Those are both reasonable ways of interpreting the sentence.
Design and characteristics
editWhen asked what to explain what exactly Mr. Mime is, The Pokémon Company responded simply "We don’t know."
Grammar issues. You should probably also specify who asked.
Appearances
editIn video games
editIt has since appeared in several sequels, including Pokémon Gold and Silver, Pokémon X and Y, and Pokémon Legends: Arceus.
These seem like pretty random games to single out.- The appearances in Mystery Dungeon, Ranger, and PokePark are unsourced.
Poké Balls appear on the field and by using Mr. Mime's Barrier, send the Poké Balls to the other player's fields.
I think you are missing a word here.Mr. Mime appears in Pokémon Go, but is only obtainable in Europe.
If I didn't know what Pokémon Go was, I would be very confused right now. Maybe you could mention that it is an augmented reality game?
In anime and manga
editAsh Ketchum, the series protagonist, dressed as a Mr. Mime to inspire a real Mr. Mime who worked for a circus.
When? Why?It is used to generate a Light Screen to seal off the whole of Saffron City.
Why?- The sentence about Crystal’s Mr. Mime is a bit of a run-on sentence, but I understand if this can't be fixed.
In live action film
editand was inspired by watching the interrogation scene in the film Seven at the time.
I think you can just sayand was inspired by the interrogation scene in the film Seven.
- I think the second paragraph of this section uses more quotes than it needs to. Could you please paraphrase some of them?
Critical reception
editMr. Mime was cited as an example of fans making "playful mocking" out of dissonant elements in the series,
You should probably specify that this is not part of the book mentioned right before it. It took me a bit to realize they were different.and Mr. Mime was both one of the most infamous and "horrific monstrosities" in this regard
The grammar seems off here.Its appearance in the Detective Pikachu film received mixed reception.
It seems like only one of the sources about the topic was negative, and that source doesn't even have anything negative to say about the Pokémon’s appearance in the movie, so I think “generally positive” would be more accurate.in the film Detective Pikachu,
Redundant.- While the Digital Spy source is nominally about the film, the reception it is used for here is about the Pokémon as a whole, and I think it would therefore fit better in an earlier paragraph.
- This section could use a bit more paraphrasing of all of the quotes, but I understand that that can be difficult for character articles.
Spot check
edit- 1: Does not seem to verify this information for every first-generation Pokémon, only Eevee. However, Source 7 does mention that Sugimori was the character design director.
- 4: Fine.
- 9: I had to fix a minor inaccuracy, but mostly fine.
- 10: This source does not back up the information it is used for.
- 11: Fine enough, assuming that the YouTube video backs up the rest.
- 14: Fine.
- 19: Fine.
- 22: Once again, I had to fix a minor inaccuracy, but mostly fine.
- 23: Fine.
- 30: Only supports some of the content, but the content is plot information anyway so we should be fine there.
- 35: See 9 and 22.
- 40: Fine.
- 41: Fine.
- 43: Fine.
Overall, I'm a bit hesitant, and I would appreciate it if you could verify that the more heavily used offline sources say what they are supposed to, but I think this article passes the spot check.