Talk:Mount Cayley/GA2
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Volcanoguy in topic GA Review 2
GA Review 2 edit
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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 18:24, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
This has been sitting at GAN for a bit. I contributed a bit to copyediting, but not to the article as a whole, so I'm going to be bold and take this on for review. ceranthor 18:24, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- Lead
- "All major summits have elevations greater than 2,000 m (6,600 ft), Mount Cayley being the highest at 2,385 m (7,825 ft) in elevation. " - might not need to repeat elevation twice in this sentence. I think it's implied at the end (can cut "in elevation" at end)
- "The surrounding area has been inhabited by indigenous peoples for more than 7,000 years while geothermal exploration has taken place there for the last four decades." - I get the idea, but this sentence is set up like a comparison, and it's really apple and oranges. Maybe split into two sentences at the "while geothermal" point?
- "Part of the Garibaldi Volcanic Belt, it was formed by subduction zone volcanism " - the massif is "it"? or just Cayley? be more specific
- " 4,000,000 years ago" - easier for reader as 4 million? I know we've discussed this before, so not necessary, just my recommendation
- "with lesser activity continuing into the present day." - lesser how? I think less frequent, which I would use instead of "lesser"
- " Future eruptions are likely to threaten neighbouring communities" - comes abruptly. maybe a brief transition about "if the volcano resumed activity" or something along those lines
- Geography and geology
- "It consists dominantly of volcanoes " - do you mean "predominantly"?
- "that formed subglacially" - a link for subglacial volcanoes might be helpful for the lay reader
- "during the Late Pleistocene, " - I'd add and wikilink epoch (geology)
- link Holocene at first mention
- link Garibaldi Volcanic Belt at first mention
- "Wizard Peak with an elevation of 2,240 m (7,350 ft) is east of Pyroclastic Peak and is the lowest of the three main summits.[5]" - bit clunky; rephrase maybe?
- " draping relief of 2,070 m (6,790 ft)," - explain what draping relief is; in the past I've just used Hildreth's in-text explanation (see Three Fingered Jack)
- Few times it looks like you have references out of numerical order, ie. [2][1] or [5][4]. Minor issue but something that should be fixed
- Volcanic history
- "4,000,000 years," - same note as lead; optional
- " 4,000,000 and 600,000 years ago" - see above
- "during which time prolonged erosion destroyed much of the original volcanic structure" - cut out "time" and this should be fine
- "This was followed by the third and final Shovelnose stage " - awkward introduction for the third stage's name; suggest rephrasing to be a little easier for the reader to understand
- "about 300,000 to 200,000 years ago" - given the 100,000 year gap, maybe it would be better to drop "about" and say "between 3000,000 and 200,000..."
- Same note about refs out of order, ie. [5][4]
- " produced volcanic rocks of felsic and intermediate composition" - might wanna briefly elaborate what the difference between felsic and intermediate is
- "4,000,000 years ago" - same note as above; just noting the instances
- "separation of the offshore Explorer and Juan de Fuca plates along the Nootka Fault, " - an indication of the general location of these faults beyond just "offshore" might be useful? just a thought, not totally necessary
- "Subsequent activity deposited a series of massive dacite flows up to 150 m (490 ft) thick and form the summit and northern slope of Wizard Peak." - grammatically this sentence doesn't agree
- "Temperatures ranging from 18 to 40 °C (64 to 104 °F) have been measured from the hot springs.[5]" - comes kind of abruptly, could be integrated better into the paragraph
- Landslide history
- " A 0.5 to 40 cm (0.20 to 15.75 in) thick sequence of silts, sands and pebbles interbedded in the debris fan suggests that it may be the product of two major, closely spaced, debris avalanches" - what does "it" refer to here? unclear
- "Another large debris avalanche about 1,100 years ago deposited material immediately upstream of the month of Turbid Creek." - suspect this is a typo; "mouth"?
- "diamicton units along Turbid Creek" - definitely link diamicton for lay readers, and perhaps mention what it is briefly
- Human history
- worth noting that First Nations are an indigenous group
- "The Mount Cayley massif, along with The Black Tusk, are considered sacred" - awkward phrasing... maybe replace "along with" with "and The Black Tusk"
- "51 and 65 megakelvin per metre; 45 to 95 megakelvin per metre." - are there any conversions for these? I genuinely don't know
- "100 megawatt geothermal power station" - same as directly above
- "An eruption scenario for the volcano was organized by GSC scientists in 2000 to show how Western Canada is vulnerable to such an event. They based the scenario on past activity in the Garibaldi Volcanic Belt and involved both explosive and effusive activity. The scenario was published in 2003 as an article for Natural Hazards, a Springer journal devoting on all aspects of natural hazards including risk management and the forecasting of catastrophic events.[17]" - is this meant to be in the section underneath?
- Volcanic hazards
- "In the event of a major explosive eruption, an ash plume could reach 20 km (12 mi) in height and may be maintained for 12 hours" - "may be maintained" is awkward; rephrase
- "the eruption plume would then spread to envelope most of the west coast from Seattle to Anchorage" - typo? do you mean "envelop"?
- "enclosed airports to be closed and all relevant flights to be diverted or cancelled." - not sure about "enclosed" or "relevant flights" as the correct wording here
- References
- "Reimer/Yumks, Rudy. "Squamish Nation Cognitive Landscapes". McMaster University: 8, 9." - seems like this is missing info
- "Kimball, Sarah (2010). Favourability Map of British Columbia Geothermal Resources (MAS). University of British Columbia. pp. 21, 22, 24, 131." - is there a link?
- Earwig's tool checks out.
- Images
- all properly sourced and appear to be available for use.
As expected, excellent work. Just some nitpicky comments for the most part. This is in very good shape. ceranthor 16:53, 6 August 2018 (UTC)
- Note to @Volcanoguy: Give me a ping when you finish addressing my comments/replying to them. ceranthor 17:02, 10 August 2018 (UTC)