Talk:Mortensrud station/GA1

Latest comment: 15 years ago by Chrishomingtang in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Hi, I will be reviewing this. Comments will be posted soon.—Chris! ct 23:15, 4 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

General
  • Dates are missing commas (eg. 24 November, 1997). Please check the entire article
  • Terms like "line 3" or "24 minutes" need a non break space in between. Please check the entire article
Lead
  • The lead is a bit short comparing to other train station GAs Lysaker Station or Flekkefjord Station. Consider expansion to better summarize the article.
  • Prose is not too bad, but suffers from some organization issues. Examples include:
    • You says "on the Østensjø Line" in the first sentence and "line 3" later. This is redundant, assuming that the Østensjø Line is as same as line 3. Perhaps remove the first one and move that info to the later sentence.
      • this is because there is not a 1:1 relationship between the two. The Østensjø Line was built as a tramway in 1923, and denotes the section from Tøyen to Mortensrud (it is a physical railway). Line 3 is the number on the trains that happen to run along the Østensjø Line, in addition to others (i.e. the Common Tunnel and Sognsvann Line). This has not always been the matter, and the last rearrangement of numbers was in 2006. My logic regarding their location in the lead, is that the first is concerned about the physical location and facilities of the station, while the second half is related to the station service (both by metro and bus). Arsenikk (talk) 20:33, 6 April 2009 (UTC)Reply
    • "there is an adjacent shopping center" is placed oddly and affects the flow in the second sentence. Please reword
Other sections
  • The first sentence "On 29 October 1967, the Østensjø Line was extended to Skullerud, upgraded to metro standard and connected to the Oslo T-bane network." sounds like all three things are done in a single day.
  • "The extension (without the new station) cost NOK 215 million." -> "The extension (without the new station) costed NOK 215 million."
  • "The station was taken into use on 24 November 1997 ..." - Just say "The station was first used on 24 November 1997 ..."
  • "The station costs NOK 35 million." -> "The station costed NOK 35 million."
  • "Mortensrud is an open station, located one story down from the surrounding area." - "Open station" and "one story down" are unclear. Clarify See Pyrotec's comment
  • "It has step-free access, and at the same level as the buses." -> "It has step-free access, and at the same level as the bus station."
  • "Only the western of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." -> "Only the western portion of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses."
  • What do you mean by "The station is drawn by Arkitektskap."? I believed you meant "designed by Arkitektskap".

I am placing this on hold.—Chris! ct 00:09, 5 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Dates don't need commas, see how it's like in a template: (1997-11-24)24 November 1997. Punkmorten (talk) 07:41, 5 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Comments by Pyrotec

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I haven't read the article, only the comments.

  • Dates with commas appears to be a US thing; they are not required in British-English.
  • In British-English the relevant statement is: "The extension (without the new station) cost NOK 215 million."
  • Mortensrud is an open station, located one story down from the surrounding area." - "Open station" and "one story down" are unclear. Clarify. It is (almost) perfectly clear to me; but there is a typo it should be "storey" not "story". "Open" tends to mean open access, i.e. no ticket barriers, etc.

Pyrotec (talk) 10:48, 5 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for your input. I don't usually read British-English, so your comment helps me review better. I've strike out the comments you pointed out. Thanks—Chris! ct 18:32, 5 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for the review. I have acted accordingly, except where noted (the lines and step-free access). Please do not hesitate if this is not sufficient. Arsenikk (talk) 20:33, 6 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

More comments

  • "On 29 October 1967, it the upgraded metro standard was first used ..." - The "it" should be removed.
  • "Only the western of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." -> "Only the western portion of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." - still haven't fixed it
  • You haven't fix Pyrotec's third point
  • "The rapid transit serves the station each 15 minutes" -> "The rapid transit serves the station once every 15 minutes"

The lead is still a bit short, I think. —Chris! ct 03:19, 8 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Done. Sorry for missing those bits. Arsenikk (talk) 07:59, 8 April 2009 (UTC)Reply

Ok, looks good. I am passing this. Thanks for you patience.—Chris! ct 18:46, 8 April 2009 (UTC)Reply