Talk:Middlesex (novel)/GA1
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Hunter Kahn in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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I will be conducting this review. I've done an initial read-through and so far, it's in excellent shape. The article has obviously benefited from some thorough copy edits and reads very well. Perhaps more importantly, it appears to be well sourced and covers all the broad aspects of the article. I am going to go through the available sources in a second look through, but in the meantime, here are some initially comments, almost all of which will be easy to address. Please respond to each item line-by-line and I'll strike them as we go... — Hunter Kahn 05:55, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
Lead:
"The novel's characters and events are loosely based on the author's life, including the 1967 Detroit riot, which he observed as a child." I personally don't feel like this sentence adequately sums up the autobiographical elements that played a part in the writing of this novel. Rather than one brief sentence focusing largely on the Detroit riot, I'd suggest something a bit more broad, describing how several elements of Eugenides' life parallels those of Callie. Maybe something like, "The novel's characters and events are loosely based on the author's life. Both Eugenides and the protagonist were raised in Detroit, came from a Greek family, and witnessed some of the same events, like the 1967 Detroit riots."
Do you think it's worth including a sentence in the lead about how Eugenides was inspired to write this book? (The Memoirs of Herculine Barbin and all that?)
Background and publication
"had to be capable of telling epic events in the third person and psychosexual events in the first person. It had to render the experience of a teenage girl and an adult man, or an adult male-identified hermaphrodite." In order to use a direct quote, you have to attribute in the sentence who said it. Obviously, it's Eugenides in this case, but you have to clarify that in the lead-in. Also, I'm not sure the first half of this quote (the half-sentence ending in "the first person") really has to be quoted. I'd suggest paraphrasing that part, and just using the quote on the sentence starting with "It had to render..."
Plot
Much like you include a cited reference to why the brother's name is "Chapter Eleven", can you add that the character "The Obscure Object" is a reference to the film That Obscure Object of Desire?
"...first sexual experiences with both sexes" I'd suggest using "genders" for the latter word, to avoid redundancy with the word sex.
Do tractor, tradition and diplomat really need to be wikilinked, as per WP:OVERLINK?
Intersexed should be wikilinked in the first reference (the third paragraph), not in the second reference as it is now, right?
There is a reference to "Milton's funeral", but not to his death, which seems sort of abrupt and confusing. I would suggest adding some reference to his death in this last paragraph.
Autobiographical elements
"Eugenides named the bar in Middlesex Zebra Room as a "secret code of paying homage to my grandparents and my parents"." Maybe I'm just missing something here, but how exactly does calling the bar the Zebra Room serve this function?
"Both Eugenides and the narrator have lived on a street called Middlesex Boulevard. Both Eugenides and the narrator..." Both of these sentences start with "Both Eugenides and the narrator..." which seems a bit redundant. Could you reword one of them?
"hippie phases" I don't believe you're supposed to use quotes unless it's something you can attribute to somebody else. Either change it to "who undergoes what Eugenides called "hippie phrases"" or just paraphrase it.
This is a minor point, but can you add context to what Salon is? All it takes is "...in an interview with the online magazine Salon..."
Style
- "The depiction of Stephanides' relationship with the blacks, as well as America's race issues, have been criticized as having a "preachy and nervous" tone." Since the plot summary doesn't make any mention of these relationships, I think maybe an example or two would be warranted here, if the source includes any...
- The source doesn't include any, and I couldn't find much about America's race issues (except for the 1967 Detroit riots) in my searches for sources. Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
- "Using modern pop music and Greek myths allusions, Eugenides depicts how family characteristics and idiosyncrasies are passed on from one generation to the next. He also employs leitmotifs to depict how chance affects the family's way of life." Again, I think examples here would serve the article well...
"...because the coming-of-age story is revealed to be the incorrect one." I'm not sure I understand this statement.
Themes
"...becoming a midwife of her new life." This strikes me as somewhat odd wording. Do you feel this is the best way to phrase this?
- I combined the next sentence with this one: "To become a male, Callie peregrinates across the United States and becoming a midwife of her new life by teaching herself to forget what she has learned as a female." I'm not sure if its the best way to phrase this but the source says "Yet, when Callie realises that Luce's treatment will denude her of her "bulb" and all erotic feeling, she decides to become the midwife of her own second birth. To become Cal, Callie undertakes a brutal journey across America, in which she is forced to unlearn everything she has learnt in the female sphere." Cunard (talk) 09:02, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
"ethnic reconciliation" Again, quote fragments shouldn't be used unless they are attributed to somebody directly. I know this isn't a major point, but it's the correct way to use quotes.
Can you add some context to what Newsnight is?
"According to Sonja Lyubomirsky..." This needs some context too. Who is Sonja Lyubomirsky?
Reception
"Critics were dissatisfied with the scope of the novel." Wouldn't it be more fair and accurate to say "Some critics were..."?
"Andrew O'Hehir of Salon.com..." Salon is already wikilinked above. Also, for consistency sake, you should stick to either Salon or Salon.com.
The last subcategory here is titled " Great American Novel and comparison with The Virgin Suicides". Yet in both cases, you only have one author weighing in on both of these topics (Tim Morris on the Great American Novel, David Gates on the Virgin Suicides comparisons). This section would be so much strong if you could add at least one more writer to each. Can you add this?
Honors and adaptation
You say here it became a best-seller. Do you have any information on how many copies sold or how much money it made?
Wikilinks to The Oprah Winfrey Show and Oprah's Book Club should be added in here.
Any idea when the drama series will air? If so, please add this in.
Misc
Do you think it's worth adding the image of Jeffrey Eugenides into this article somewhere? I'll leave that call to you, since the available picture of him is not o the best quality...
I'll place this on hold for now. I expect to come back with some more comments after I do a thorough look through the sources, but I'd encourage you to make changes based on my above comments in the meantime. Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 05:55, 15 April 2010 (UTC)