Talk:Michael Brown Okinawa assault incident
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GA review
editIn the current shape I can see, no major problems are spotted that strictly denies the article from. However, there are a few fixes that I feel can be completed in a short while. So I'm putting this on-hold.
Have a look at the checklist.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
- It is stable.
- It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
- a (tagged and captioned): b lack of images (does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- a Pass/Fail:
--Deryck C.review my hometown! 07:44, 3 June 2007 (UTC)
Now comes the explanation of my rating. It's my pleasure to read an article with the six GA MOS guidelines complied. As far as I feel competent to comment, the prose style of the article is okay. I'm able to understand the entire passage with little difficulties. However, being a non-native speaker of English, I feel unqualified to review the complex grammar used in this article. To summarize, this article deserves a far pass to criterion 1.
The article is generally well-referenced. However, it might look quite skeptical to footnote all but only the end of each paragraph. Moreover, multiply used footnote contents should be combined with the <ref name="something" /> syntax. This one needs a fix before I can let the article pass. Plus, if possible, the style used in the "websites" section should be used for the footnotes, and contents in the websites section incorporated into the footnotes wherever content is duplicated. This article deserves a bare pass to criterion 2, but I'd like to see the minor fixes done so that it could turn into a far pass.
- Combining all of the footnotes in a single citation at the end of each paragraph is acceptable. I've done it in two articles that I've successfully nominated for Featured Article: Actions along the Matanikau and B-52 aircraft crash at Fairchild Air Force Base. Having all the citations at the end of each paragraph helps the text look smoother. I did, however, combine two of the footnotes as you suggested since they were duplicates. What do you mean by "contents in the websites section incorporated into the footnotes wherever content is duplicated?" CLA 23:32, 4 June 2007 (UTC)
Now comes to criterion set 3. The article is indeed comprehensive. However, there lies a major problem - what does the Virginia arrest of Brown have to do with the Okinawa assault? That is clearly off-topic.
- I removed that section. CLA 23:32, 4 June 2007 (UTC)
I gave a neutral to 4b. This is because this article seems to focus only on views with significant media coverage. Does that mean all aspects and views? Being a complete outsider to the topic, I feel unqualified to rate. (this also applies to criterion 2, but given all the referencing and footnoting I think it's okay)
- I wish that I could read Japanese so that I could reference the Japanese-language press. Unfortunately, I don't. But, I did use some Kyodo News sources which is a Japanese news agency that produces English language reports. The Chalmers Johnson reference gives a view from an outside academic observer. Therefore, I feel the article is presenting the story from different sides fairly well. CLA 23:32, 4 June 2007 (UTC)
Criterion 5 is the farthest pass on the list, perhaps I should give it full mark. This article must be superbly stable as I simply can't find a revert summary on the history, nor any comments on the talk page. (big laugh here please)
For the images in this article, I understand the fair use rationale you people gave, but I'm not sure whether they're going to pass when put into the harsh FAC folks' hands. Moreover, this article is really in a little, though insignificant, lack of pictures. However, for the GA criteria, this is a sure pass.
Overall, this article deserves a marginal pass, but I'm leaving the space blank for the quick fixes I mentioned above (especially the off-topic section) to be fixed. Then I'll let the article go.
This is the first GA review done by me, and I hope you give me some review on my reviewing techniques. Thanks. Happy editing! --Deryck C.review my hometown! 08:01, 3 June 2007 (UTC)
- I addressed your comments above. Thank you for the in-depth review and constructive feedback. CLA 23:32, 4 June 2007 (UTC)
- I thought some of the contents of the "Notes" and the "Web" sections are duplicated? At any rate, these minor points are beyond the reach of GA. I'm going to promote this article. --Deryck C. 14:50, 5 June 2007 (UTC)
- Just a question - does any of the items from the two abovesaid sections overlap each other? --Deryck C. 10:32, 6 June 2007 (UTC)
Question regarding image
editWhy is there a photo of the "View of Naha, Okinawa from the bridge of a United States Navy cargo ship." in this article? It seems incongruous and irrelevant to the topic. I hesitate in making any edit in case there is some relevancy that escapes me. Cheers 64.172.226.100 (talk) 22:56, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
- I needed a picture of Naha, Okinawa and that was the only public domain image I could find. Since the article concerns, in part, the relationship between the US military and Okinawa, I thought it was interesting also to show a picture of Naha as seen from the deck of a US military ship. Cla68 (talk) 00:30, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
USMC Disciplinary Action?
editI think this article needs to mention if any disciplinary action was taken against Maj Brown. I find it hard to believe that an incident such as this only incurred a transfer to another base. For completeness of the article this does need to be addressed. Mikemill 06:24, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
- After Michael Brown returned to the U.S., he requested to retire but it was put on hold while the USMC decided if they were going to take any disciplinary action against him or not. During this time, Brown was arrested in 2005 and charged with assault and kidnapping a young girl in West Virginia. He was jailed while awaiting trial. I haven't been able to find any sources that say what has happened with him since then. Cla68 09:22, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
- New information added. Cla68 (talk) 07:46, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- I updated this information today. I think that we'll need to keep an eye on this, because according to the newspaper article, while the subject's charges are in West Virginia, he's been released on bond with the condition that he does not travel to or through the state. If that's right, given the fact that the charges are almost three years old, one has to wonder if there is any intent to actually prosecute. If they're dismissed, I think we would need to get most of this out of the article on BLP concerns. Xymmax So let it be written So let it be done 14:42, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, if the charges are dismissed we'll probably need to remove mention of it from the article. Thanks for updating the info. Cla68 (talk) 15:31, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
- Brown "was at the time 39 years old, was married with two small children" and he says he fondled Nakamine who "was 40 years old, and originally from the Philippines, had lived in Okinawa for 17 years, and was married to a Japanese citizen of Okinawan descent". Does adultery considered as a crime in US army or in the state where he live. Also out of nowhere over 12.000 dollars for the bartender is highly suspicious. Kasaalan (talk) 12:59, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, if the charges are dismissed we'll probably need to remove mention of it from the article. Thanks for updating the info. Cla68 (talk) 15:31, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
- I updated this information today. I think that we'll need to keep an eye on this, because according to the newspaper article, while the subject's charges are in West Virginia, he's been released on bond with the condition that he does not travel to or through the state. If that's right, given the fact that the charges are almost three years old, one has to wonder if there is any intent to actually prosecute. If they're dismissed, I think we would need to get most of this out of the article on BLP concerns. Xymmax So let it be written So let it be done 14:42, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
- New information added. Cla68 (talk) 07:46, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
BLP and personal information about the victim
editThere is a fair amount of personal information in the article about the victim that seems inconsistent with WP:BLP#Other considerations (all sub-sections), particularly as she's a secondary character. At present the article includes her full name, race, place of employment, job title, length of time in Okinawa, and marital status. I removed her race, job title, and full name from the lead plus her age, residence status, and marital status from the body of the article. Her name and that she was employed on the base was widely reported are still in the article. While these personal details are not key elements to the incident and aftermath it would take a bit of work to remove them from the article while keeping it readable.
It appears she testified via close circuit television and so it appears that at least the courts tried to protect her identity. I looked over the articles did did not spot any references to public appearances by the victim. It's not clear how the media, primarily the Stars & Stripes newsletter, learned of her name and other personal information. --Marc Kupper|talk 22:16, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
- I included her length of time in Okinawa, race, and marital status so that readers would get the "full" picture of what was going on here. As explained in the article, there were allegations of political motivations behind the prosecution of Brown by Japanese authorities, so it was important to give details on just who is accuser was, whether a local citizen or not. The details were reported in Stars and Stripes. Since a sexual assault did not occur, there was apparently no violation of the paper's rules on reporting details about the victim. Cla68 (talk) 22:25, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
- I'd agree with that but the article did not show how the personal information was relevant to the case. For example, there's no mention of local views of incidents involving Japanese women vs. resident aliens. I'm also trying to be extra careful about the sources, particularly for BLP material, as people associated with the defense vs. prosecution are liable to put their own spin on comments that then appear anonymously in news reports as "fact" surrounding a titillating sex story. For example, this can be spun as "a resident alien hooker and client having a disagreement about the services to be rendered" to "a reputable, married, 40ish, base employee doing her best to ensure that a U.S. military officer got home safely."
- There is some, what appears to be reliable, information available. For example, in December 2002 it appears that at least the US Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, Japan's Foreign Minister Yoriko Kawaguchi, and Okinawa Gov. Keiichi Inamine all were involved. Richard Armitage happened to be in Japan at the time for other business (Iraq, etc.). Articles such as this are attributing quotes directly to individuals (plus they mix in conjecture from unknown people but presumably the news reporter).
- I believe there is material for a Wikipedia article (it's a notable event) but that personal information about Major Brown or the woman is either unreliably sourced or is irrelevant to the core issue which is the U.S. military presence in Japan, and particularly in Okinawa. --Marc Kupper|talk 00:37, 14 December 2009 (UTC)
- As a witness and accuser in a criminal case, the victim's personal information becomes public information. Since a sexual assault apparently did not occur, the protections usually given to such victims does not apply. Stars and Stripes is a reliable source. If I were reading this account, I would want to know the status and background of the accuser. Was she Japanese or Okinawan? A third country national? What were her ties to the local community? etc. Those personal details gave this kind of information. Cla68 (talk) 00:51, 14 December 2009 (UTC)
- We are not writing for a newspaper with their guidelines but Wikipedia where WP:BLP applies.
- > As a witness and accuser in a criminal case, the victim's personal information becomes public information.
- Not true - there are plenty of examples where the victim is not named including this incident. Victims names are not released in Japan either. Brown's name was reported widely starting in December 2002 but not the victim's meaning the police or prosecution did not release this as a matter of course. The victim is not identified until late May 2003 and then only in Stars and Stripes. Outside of Stars and Stripes it seems her name only came up in a single news article (in Texas which is also Brown's home state). Her name was never released by the US or Japanese authorities nor has she ever made a public statement.
- * Asia Africa Intelligence Wire (July 9, 2004) According to the ruling, Brown, 41, attempted to molest a Philippine woman, whose name is being withheld, in a parked car in Gushikawa on Nov. 2, 2002. He also tossed her cellular phone into a river.
- My local public library subscribes to a number of news archive services. I found 26 news articles. They go from not identifying the woman at all, that she's a foreigner, and that she's Filipina/Philippine. Her named is never mentioned and the USA papers even drop her nationality.
- Asia Africa Intelligence Wire (Dec 5, 2002) Okinawa Prefectural Police said Brown approached the woman in her car early on the morning of Nov. 2. Though he had only met her for the first time earlier in the day, Brown beat the Filipina and tried to rape her, police said. However, the woman fought back fiercely and fled the scene as the Marine officer had snatched her mobile phone and thrown it away. (I like this as it sources the Filipina ID to the Okinawa Prefectural Police.)
- New York Times (Dec 20, 2002) Okinawa, home to 26,000 American troops, has seen major protests in the past over rape cases but this case has drawn little attention, apparently because the woman is a foreigner.
- As far as WP:BLP goes - I see that it's safe to document details that were reported by multiple independent reliable news organizations.
- As far as giving all the facts for people reading this account goes - I'm not sure how we can do that. We only know the victim's side of the story from what was said by the police, in court, and subsequently reported in the media. The Brown family waged an extensive media campaign, contacted numerous public officials, and have made their side of the story quite public. While the www.majorbrown.org site is gone (and now used by a Japanese company...) this book likely captures much of what they had on the web site. --Marc Kupper|talk 08:16, 14 December 2009 (UTC)
- Indecent assault is a sexual offense. Huangdi (talk) 09:27, 15 December 2009 (UTC)
- If you insist on that much about BLP I replaced all names with V. N. as substitute removing full name. Anyone living in Japan can find her name by newspapers anyway. Kasaalan (talk) 12:34, 15 December 2009 (UTC)
Subsequent arrest and conviction
editI must question the inclusion of the "Subsequent arrest and conviction" section in this article. The incidents recounted occurred several years later, and appear to be included simply to elaborate on (here, denigrate) the character of the accused. While I have no sympathy for rapists, there's a reason for the relevance test. It's like referring to a cabinet nominee as "a former cocktail waitress", except that this occurred afterwards. --Piledhigheranddeeper (talk) 21:31, 16 December 2009 (UTC)
SOFA Controversy Section...move it?
editAfter reading this article and the U.S.-Japan Status of Forces Agreement article, I think it would be a good idea to move at least most of this article's "SOFA Controversy" section to the actual SOFA agreement page. The section isn't too specific towards the article and the actual SOFA agreement doesn't have a controversy section of which I found surprising.--NortyNort (talk) 08:33, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
- I would agree with moving the SOFA controversy section to the main SOFA article except that the current controversy section is 615 words long and would clearly overshadow the current 147 word SOFA article. Any semblance of WP:NPOV gets lost meaning someone would need to either figure out how to bulk up the SOFA section or would need to slash the controversy section down to ~100 words in the name of neutrality. --Marc Kupper|talk 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
- Good point. I was surprised how small the SOFA article was to begin with, it hardly has any edits. I found a copy of the agreement here. I can summarize it within a few paragraphs/sections. This isn't my area of expertise but ill try to pull the important stuff out.--NortyNort (talk) 09:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Copyright violation?
editThe text of this edit in the "subsequent arrest and conviction" section is almost a verbatim copy of a passage from this source. Could use some reworking. :( --68.174.252.128 (talk) 05:20, 8 July 2012 (UTC)
- Well, I fixed this after 9 or so years. Moneytrees🎄Talk/CCI guide 21:59, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
Delete section: Subsequent arrest and conviction
editThe "Subsequent arrest and conviction" section documents events a continent away and 14 months after this article's last stated event and therefore beyond this article's current scope. Further, aforesaid section fails notability when considered alone, having only secondary notability from this article's topic, which, as such, is appropriate only within the perpetrator's biography. – Conrad T. Pino (talk) 02:18, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
After further reviewing this talk page and noting:
- Talk:Michael Brown Okinawa assault incident#Subsequent arrest and conviction questioning inclusion,
- Talk:Michael Brown Okinawa assault incident#Copyright violation? questioning copyright,
I'm proceeding with an immediate delete. – Conrad T. Pino (talk) 02:38, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
Length of trial
editThe Japanese legal system is notoriously slow. But I do not believe that there was a 19 month long trial. Perhaps a wait of 19 months before the trial.Royalcourtier (talk) 02:57, 1 March 2016 (UTC)
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