Talk:Mary F. Hoyt/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Kavyansh.Singh in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 09:40, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
Nominator: Doug Coldwell (talk · contribs) at 22:01, 7 February 2022 (UTC)Reply


GA criteria

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

  ·   ·   ·  

Comments

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  • Missing a short description
  •   Done


  • "which was followed by hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions" — Did Hoyt's appointment to federal civil service the main cause for 'hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions', or is this just a trivia? Can we rephrase?
  •   Done


  • "She was a centenarian." — For the lead, can we say that "She died in 1958, at the age of 100", with 'at the age of 100' piped to centenarian?
  •   Done


  • "Hoyt was born in" — Full name should be mentioned on the first instance in the prose.
  •   Done


  • "She is a niece of" — should be 'was a'
  •   Done


  • "Her first job was a favorable position for a young lady" — I don't think this is too important to mention that it was a 'favorable position'
  •   Done


  • "is a federal law established in 1883 which decided that" — we switch from present to past tense
  •   Done


  • "US president Chester A. Arthur" — I guess it should be clear by the context the Arthur is American president. Remove US. And my reading of MOS:JOBTITLE is that 'p' in 'President' should be capitalized.
  •   Done


  • "in the spring of 1883" — MOS:SEASON discourages the use of seasons to refer to a particular part of the year.
  •   Done


  • "Hoyt produced the highest score" — is 'produced' the most appropriate word? How about received?
  •   Done


  • "at an annual pay of US$900" — suggesting to use {{Inflation}}
  •   Done


  • "A letter from President Dwight D. Eisenhower was delivered to Hoyt by the chairman of the United States Civil Service Commission, Harris Ellsworth." — which year?
  •   Done


  • "Eisenhower's letter explained that a door had been opened for women's opportunities in civil service, and that she was the leader for these opportunities" — we should be either directly quoting his letter, or paraphrasing it. But I am not sure whether we should be saying "a door had been opened" or "she was the leader for these opportunities" or "Hundreds of thousand of women" in Wikipedia's voice
  •   Done


  • "one fourth" — shouldn't this be "one-fourth"?
  •   Done


  • "while working at the US Census Office" — was she at "US Census Office" or "Census Bureau"?
  •   Done


  • "She took a hiatus" — might be worth explaining in the text what this is
  •   Done


  • "Roger (b. 9/12/1889), Truman (b. 11/4/1893), Alan (b. 10/9/1894), and Elinor (b. 2/15/1896)" — Do we really need to mention the date of birth?
  •   Done


References

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This version

  • Suggesting to be consistent whether you use plain citations or specific citation templates.
  •   Done


  • Ref#1 — Title of the news article?
  •   Done


  • Ref#2 — Norwalk Hour should be The Norwalk Hour
  •   Done


  • Ref#3 — missing title
  •   Done


  • Ref#6 — Plain link; and why is Geni.com reliable to use? WP:RS/P#Geni.com states it is unreliable.
  •   Done


  • Ref#12 — New York Times should really be The New York Times
  •   Done


  • Ref#15 — Don't use all caps in reference titles
  •   Done


Putting on hold – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:20, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for review. Will get started in resolving the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:48, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply