Talk:Martin Rundkvist/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MeegsC (talk · contribs) 22:52, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

I'd be happy to review this one. It may take me a few days to post my comments. MeegsC (talk) 22:52, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this! The article is in pretty good shape, but I do have some comments/suggestions:

• Studies have shown that the average reader struggles with sentences of more than 25 words, losing 5% comprehension for every word above that count. You have a lot of longer sentences here. For your readers' sakes, you should try to cut those down wherever possible. Anywhere you have a semi-colon here could be split into two shorter sentences.

• I've modified all but one of the semicolons referenced below. In general, though, I wonder if those studies account for semicolons, and if so, how the results change. After all, both ends of a semicolon can be read as individual sentences, which should theoretically make them easier to understand. This piece identifies the problem and then claims that "some gifted writers can create long sentences that are pleasant to read [by] us[ing] lots of semicolons", though it's pretty anecdotal. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:27, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Lede

• In the sentence "Rundkvist has studied and excavated various sites in Sweden, particularly in the country's South.", south should not be capitalised.
• In the sentence beginning "In 2003 and 2004 he published a three-volume work, doubling as his Ph.D. dissertation, cataloguing " there should be a comma after 2004. I'd also suggest replacing ", doubling as his..." with "which doubled as his..." (with no comma before it).
• I'd suggest breaking the terrifically long sentence "A subsequent book identified nine possible regional power centres in Östergötland, and attempted to determine where the "Beowulfian mead halls" of the day once stood;[R 1] excavating years later at one of these sites, Aska [sv], Rundkvist uncovered the foundations of a large mead hall, and 22 ornate gold figures that may have represented gods or royals." into two, ending the first sentence after [R 1].
• In the sentence starting "Rundkvist spent two decades as managing editor of the archaeology and medieval art journal Fornvännen...", I'd suggest flipping the order of things so that the name of the journal precedes its description. Most English-speaking people will have never heard of it, so delaying its name until after the description just makes the sentence harder to process.

• Done: "Rundkvist spent two decades as managing editor of Fornvännen, a journal on archaeology and medieval art". --Usernameunique (talk) 20:54, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• Ditto the bit about the blog. "...authors Aardvarchaeology" reads very oddly. The first time I read the sentence, I thought "authors" was going to be a typo; i.e. he'd AUTHORED a book called "Aardvarcheology". It wasn't until you reach the end of the sentence that you discover it's actually a current blog.

• Changed to "authors the blog Aardvarcheology". --Usernameunique (talk) 08:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Early life and education

• In the sentence "That same year, he appeared in public speaking on J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-earth and its connection to archaeology." there should be a comma after public.

• Changed to "he gave a public talk on" --Usernameunique (talk) 20:26, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Career

• His current position should come at the end of the paragraph detailing his archeological positions. It's an encyclopedia article, not a CV.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 21:01, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence "From April 1999 to November 2018 he was the managing editor of the quarterly Fornvännen...", there should be a comma after 2018.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:44, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence "From 2006 to 2012 Rundkvist served as the Scandinavian correspondent for Antiquity.", there should be a comma after 2012. I'd also suggest that you indicate that it's a journal; don't make people have to click on the link.

• Added the comma. I think Antiquity may be well known enough that it's not strictly necessary, but the following sentence does say "He likewise served as a referee for the journal". --Usernameunique (talk) 20:44, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• Ditto for the sentence "Rundkvist is also a member of the Internationales Sachsensymposion." Briefly tell the reader what Internationales Sachsensymposion is; don't make people have to leave your article to find out.

• Agreed, it's definitely more obscure than Antiquity. Added a line and source explaining it. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:52, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• "The following year, he appeared in a debate in Svenska Dagbladet about the low level of thematically relevant training among Sweden's museum directors;[18] Rundkvist had attracted attention as far back as 2002 for criticising Swedish History Museum director Kristian Berg [sv],[19] whom he called "a non-archaeologist whose attitude to the museum placed in his care may be summarised as politically expedient, instrumental and post-modernist"." is another hugely long sentence (64 words!!) that needs breaking up. I'd suggest after "...museum directors".

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:16, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Research

• In the sentence starting "His dissertation...", I'd suggest indicating that it was his PhD dissertation. Yes, you've mentioned it in the lede. But it should be repeated here.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence starting "In 2005 Rundkvist and Williams directed..." there should be a comma after 2005.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Reported as far away as India,[24] the dig uncovered 23 rare amber gaming pieces, the first time such pieces were had been found in the country since the excavation of a grave at Birka more than a century before."

• Fixed. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• "The article catalogued nearly 600 such brooches, as well as transitional types through to the Early Viking Age; termed "comprehensive" by the Danish archaeologist Søren M. Sindbæk [da],[27] the work was also praised by the Swedish archaeologist Birgitta Hårdh for demonstrating, among other things, how Uppåkra functioned as an innovation centre for new types of fibulae." Another monster at 44 words! ;) I'd suggest changing the semi-colon and saying "and was termed comprehensive", and ending that first sentence after "Sindbæk".

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:16, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence starting In 2011 Rundkvist published a fourth book...", there should be a comma after 2011.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence "It analyzed sites around lakes Mälaren and Hjälmaren where Bronze Age metalwork and stone implements were found outside of burial and settlement contexts...", "were" should probably be replaced by had been".

• Fixed. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Given the region's comparatively humble finds, and the diffuse nature of Rundkvist's landscape descriptions—such as to look for where water "does something interesting"—several reviewers wrote that it would be difficult to translate his heuristic principles to the field, as intended,[30][31] and one termed it a "curate's egg"." Another long sentence. If you can cut it down at all, that would be good. Even making "One termed it a curate's egg." would help a bit.

• Broke off "one termed it a 'curate's egg'" with a semicolon. --Usernameunique (talk) 21:03, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Nonetheless, reviewers including Svend Hansen [de] for Archäologische Informationen [de], and another for the European Journal of Archaeology, noted that the book was part of an emerging school of thought attempting to place deposited objects in the context of their landscape, and nearby sites." 42 words. I might put parentheses, or at least commas, around "including Svend Hansen [de] for Archäologische Informationen [de], and another for the European Journal of Archaeology".

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:21, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

• "The work analyzed the lifestyles of those who lived in castles in Östergötland around 1200–1530 AD; modifying a common saying about World War I, Rundkvist termed such existence "decades of boredom punctuated by weeks of terror." 37 words! ;) Consider cutting into two at the semi-colon.

• This one doesn't seem as pressing as the others; both ends of that sentence are pretty simple, and directly relate to each other. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:21, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence "In April 2013, Rundkvist and his colleague Andreas Viberg surveyed the mound with ground-penetrating radar, discovering evidence of a 47.5 metres (156 ft)-long and up to 14 metres (46 ft)-wide mead hall." don't put the dimensions of the hall before telling what it is. I'd suggest "In April 2013, Rundkvist and his colleague Andreas Viberg surveyed the mound with ground-penetrating radar, discovering evidence of a mead hall measuring 47.5 metres (156 ft) long and up to 14 metres (46 ft) wide."

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence "In the summer of 2020 Rundkvist returned to Aska to excavate the platform,[44] which, other than trial trenches dug in 1985 and 1986,[45] was unexcavated." there should be a comma after 2020. Also, I might put "remained unexcavated" rather than "was unexcavated".

• Done and done. --Usernameunique (talk) 21:05, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• In the sentence starting "To the East, the survey uncovered...", east should not be capitalised.

• Done. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• Link or explain inhumation.

• Linked. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:37, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Swedish Skeptic's Association

• In the sentence "In 2002 he became an editor of the journal, and two years later he joined the Society's executive board.", there should be a comma after 2002.

References

• Journal names are missing for the last two sources listed under "Other".

• These are just excavation reports, not journal-published articles. As I understand it Rundkvist is currently working on writing up the finds for publication, but this of course takes some time. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:22, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• Okay. Then perhaps use {{cite document}} or {{cite report}} rather than {{cite journal}} Because right now, these are showing as errors!

• Good point, changed to {{cite report}}. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:29, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Plus one

• One more thing: I wondered how he could be a professor in Poland while living in Sweden. Does he commute? Do all his lectures via Zoom?? I wondered, and I imagine other readers will as well. Do you know the answer?

• That's a good point. We might ask Mrund himself, but I suspect that he moved once he got the post at University of Łódź, and that the 2016 source for "Rundkvist has lived entirely in Stockholm" is outdated. If that's indeed the case, I can qualify that sentence ("as of 2016 had lived entirely" or something of that sort). --Usernameunique (talk) 20:41, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

My main task as a research professor is to produce research and publish it in international venues. I can do this much more productively in my native Sweden than in Poland, where I know neither the archaeology nor the language. But I do a bit of online teaching, and I go to Łódź now and then when there isn't a pandemic. Martin Rundkvist (talk) 21:14, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Feel free to strike things out as you deal with them (so I know what you've done) and to ping me if you have questions. I've got this on my watchlist, so will keep an eye on progress. MeegsC (talk) 20:01, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Hey MeegsC, thanks very much for the detailed review. And no worries on any delay; I figured you'd get to it when you had the time. Pretty sure Chiswick Chap and I have covered everything above. --Usernameunique (talk) 08:29, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Usernameunique and Chiswick Chap, thanks for sorting these out so quickly! I still think you should chop up those semi-coloned sentences, but it's not enough to keep the article from getting its star. I've done a few spot checks on the references (those I could read!) and all looks okay there. There's heavy reliance on primary (subject-written) sources for some of the personal info, but I guess there's not much we can do about that. I like that you've broken them out in your bibliography, which makes it easy for your readers to see what sort of sources they are. Nice job all round! I'm happy to pass this one. And I can't wait to get to Götland (when this pandemic is finally under control) to visit some friends and see some of these places! MeegsC (talk) 11:30, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Many thanks. Chiswick Chap (talk) 11:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Follow-up concern

Please see my comment at Template:Did you know nominations/Martin Rundkvist (2nd nomination) about the use of the unpublished academia.edu preprint. The claims cited directly to the preprint and the WordPress blog may need to be WP:INTEXT attributed, since those are primary sources and have not been peer-reviewed (cf. the RSP entry for arXiv and RSP entry for ResearchGate). — MarkH₂₁^talk 11:06, 17 March 2021 (UTC)