Talk:Mari Lwyd/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by J Milburn in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 12:15, 21 February 2016 (UTC)Reply


This looks like a really interesting topic. I'm happy to offer a review. Josh Milburn (talk) 12:15, 21 February 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • "First recorded in 1800, a number of accounts testifying" This doesn't work- it was was the practice first recorded in 1800, not the "number of accounts"
  • "besom broom" This will not be familiar to many readers; our article besom suggests that merely "besom" (though I think a link would be necessary) would be sufficient.
    • Agreed and changed. 20:57, 25 February 2016 (UTC)
  • "while Judy brushed the ground, house walls, and windows, with a broom" The comma after "windows" needs to go, I think; I'd remove the one after "walls", too, but I'll leave that up to you
  • "while the latter was found largely in North Wales and the former largely in the South" This doesn't read quite right to me
    • I've changed this to "Further casting doubt on this idea is the fact that there is no known historical link between the Mari Lwyd, which was found in South Wales, and the Morris dance, which was instead concentrated in the north of the country". Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:45, 25 February 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Not a massive deal, but the last paragraph of the section doesn't really seem to say what the changing social conditions were. What changed? Why?
  • Is "Graig Penllyn" the same as Penllyn, Vale of Glamorgan? If it's a village in its own right, it should be redlinked.
    • It certainly seems to be (although I'm far from an expert on this part of Britain). I've added the link in the article. 21:54, 25 February 2016 (UTC)
  • "giving the custom a new expressive life" A bit rhetorical; do you have a source saying this?
  • "In 1919, H. W. Evans recorded the existence of a similar custom which had existed in Solva, Pembrokeshire circa 1840, during his mother's childhood. He described it as a "Mari Lwyd" and provided a drawing of it using his mother's recollections as a basis, although was unaware of how it had been used." This needs attention- you seem to alternate between the Mari Lwyd qua custom and Mari Lwyd qua hobby horse.
  • That video is pretty fantastic. I wonder if you should make more of a fuss about it in the article.
    • Yes, it is a great video. If only more Wikipedia articles on folk customs had them. However I'm unsure how I could make more of it in the article itself to be honest, given that we don't have reliable sources discussing that particular video itself. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:17, 25 February 2016 (UTC)Reply
      • I'm just thinking aloud, so please just go with whatever you think is best, but I wonder if you could move it to the lead; perhaps you could lead with a historical photograph and a contemporary video? I'm not really sure, just some ideas. Josh Milburn (talk) 11:39, 27 February 2016 (UTC)Reply
        • I'd be a little hesitant about putting the video in the lede as I feel that a crisp picture of the Mari Lwyd serves a better purpose (those with poorer, slower internet connections, particularly in developing countries, might not be able to view the video, for instance). However we could go for a historical photograph in the lede. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:24, 29 February 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Perhaps you could neaten up the recordings section a little? I think it's valuable (it reminds me of the traditional encyclopedia articles which list publications of likenesses) but it's a bit messy right now. The external links section could be a bit neater, too.
    • I've tidied up the Recordings section a little, although without any specific citation formats for audio recordings it probably lacks the neatness of the other citation sections, unfortunately. I shall also tidy up the External Links section. Midnightblueowl (talk) 17:55, 29 February 2016 (UTC)Reply

A great read and a fascinating topic- thanks for putting the time into this article. I'm happy with the sources and images other than those points I have already mentioned. (GAC is not the place for formatting quibbles.) Josh Milburn (talk) 13:49, 21 February 2016 (UTC)Reply