Talk:Mandeep Dhillon/GA1

GA Review

Latest comment: 3 years ago16 comments2 people in discussion

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Bait30 (talk · contribs) 17:40, 5 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

I'll try to get started on this review soon. I'll review prose first going down the page by section, then do images, then do references last. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 17:40, 5 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

"In 2012 she had a leading role": I've noticed that throughout the article, when a sentence begins "In YEAR", it's sometimes followed by a comma and it sometimes isn't. I'm not sure if without a comma is done in some variety of English that's not American English, but at least try to make it consistent. (1a)
- Amended. (Also slightly reworded a couple of instances so that not so many sentences start with "In 20xx ...") BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:01, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

The first sentences of each paragraph, are kinda wordy and complex (lots of dependent clauses). It is grammatical and understandable though so I won't hold it against you if you choose to keep it haha.
- I've broken one of them up - very happy to hear any further suggestions.

"In 2011": the comma thing again. (1a)
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:18, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
"The Financial Times': The "The" shouldn't be italicized. (1a)
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:18, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
"at the behest of her family who want her": I believe it should be "family who wants". Unless again it might be an WP:ENGVAR thing. (1a)
- Looks like there is a difference between American and British English around collective nouns. I've added the word "members" but happy to revisit. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:18, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  - Ok, yeah I sort of remember hearing something about that but I wasn't sure. In that case, it's fine to keep as is. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 03:35, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
"In the show...UI Qoma": these two sentences seem to be extraneous. (3b)
- Removed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:18, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
Instead of "(2019 to 2020)", shouldn't it be "(2019–present)"?
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:18, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Nothing that would affect the GA review, but per WP:FILMOGRAPHY, you should use "Title" in your tables instead of "Film" and "Programme".
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 02:52, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

I feel like the Bush Theatre image is in the gray area between relevant and irrelevant. It's a picture of the place she worked at from 6 years before she worked there. (6b)

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 22:58, 5 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Reference numbers come from this version of the article.

Ref 1: dead. Also how can the tweet be from 2004? Twitter was founded in 2006. (2b)
- Added an archive url, and corrected my typos in the year here and in the hidden comment "tweet confirms day of birth; ES article states that Dhillon was 27 (in April 2020)" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 03:34, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 23:45, 5 March 2021 (UTC) Looks good now! Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 05:09, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Many thanks for taking the review on and for your constructive comments, Bait30. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:39, 6 March 2021 (UTC)Reply