Talk:Madonna: Tears of a Clown/GA1

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 20:58, 30 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 20:58, 30 March 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Image needs an alternative description ("alt")

Lead

Paragraph 2

• Do you need to state "on March 10" since there was only one show and you already mentioned the date previously?
• continuing → continually
  • continuing is correct here since the singer was not stopping and starting to rehearse, she was going on and on. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 23:17, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
• I think "unpopular" is a very strong word; "Holiday", "Don't Tell Me", "Borderline", and "Take a Bow" were all hits; how could this be rephrased better? Also, "unpopular" isn't mentioned again in the article
• "performance, the choice" → "performance and the choice"

Background

Paragraph 1

• Remove 'finally'
• visit → visiting
• Remove 'show' after "Madonna: Tears of a Clown"
• "skit on the show. She added" → "skit on the show; she added"

Block quote

• Obviously nothing here :)

Paragraph 2

• person → person's
• addition of catwalk the space" → "addition of catwalk, the space"
• Remove 'also' in "The show was also confirmed..."
• late → later

Synopsis

Paragraph 1

• The sentence regarding her cover of "Send in the Clowns" is quite long; could you condense it so the paragraph flows better?
• "showing circus themed videos. Following this Madonna" → "showing circus themed videos; following this, Madonna"

Paragraph 2

• This paragraph does not contain any references; either find some new ones or reuse the ones you've already used throughout this article
  • WP:PLOT ideally does not need any sources unless it varies from place to place. Since at present it is a onetime event, the synopsis will remain constant. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 23:17, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

Critical response

Paragraph 1

• Add a lead/intro sentence to this section please
  • I would prefer that to be a summary in the WP:LEAD section? Ideally a summary would also require a source in the article body, which I admit I did not find. So its better to have the summary for the lead section where we can summarize based on the reviews listed and it would not require supporting citations also. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 23:17, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

Paragraph 2

• Is the "attended the show at the Forum Theatre" part necessary?

Paragraph 3

• I would rephrase the first sentence to something like: "After the show ended, several media outlets reported that Madonna may have been drunk during the performance; however, Madonna blasted these reports, by responding..."

Set list

• Looks perfect

References

• No errors here; great job!

End of GA Review:

A hugely great article despite the concert's short amount of time and how recent it was. I will put this article on hold until the above issues are addressed. Thanks! Carbrera (talk) 01:09, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: I have responded and acted upon all the concerns that you have. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 23:17, 31 March 2016 (UTC)