Talk:Madonna: Like an Icon/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 18:54, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

This one is mine! Expect comments in a few days.

Thanks Snuggs, although I did not work much on it except checking spotchecks and source verification and general copy edit. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 05:31, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

No problem. There have only been two substantial edits to this article anyway (one of which was the initial article creation), and those were both back in 2012. Here's the review.....

Lead

• "The author then interviewed dancers, choreographers, musicians, and producers; people who had worked with Madonna" → "The author then interviewed dancers, choreographers, musicians, and producers who worked with Madonna"

Summary

• I'd put quotation marks around the book part names
• Remove "as" from "named as"
• Remove "the African country" from "adoption from the African country, Malawi"
• While summary/plot sections are not required to have citations, I should note that FN1 (USA Today) doesn't support the text used here
  • Its just one of the excerpts used for citation. You can view the beginning notes by O'Brien here. Click on the Look inside word, few of the pages at the beginning of the book can be viewed free. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 18:30, 28 November 2014 (UTC)
    • The "look inside" is quite useful, though I've removed the USA Today ref as it wasn't needed anyway Snuggums (talk / edits) 22:10, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

Background and writing

• Link the first instance of The Virgin Tour
• "Previously she was of the opinion that"..... reads awkwardly and is quite a mouthful, try She previously thought or She previously felt
• Desperately Seeking Susan should be italicized
• What is "championed alternative cultures" supposed to mean?
• I couldn't find anything in FN4 (The Sydney Morning Herald) that supports the text it follows, but will AGF for the book page citations
  • The citation supports the "Madonna as a ruthless person" moniker with the excerpt and the book citation is for the direct quote. Again, read the above link I gave. I hope it is available in your country. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 18:30, 28 November 2014 (UTC)
    • Yes it is available for me :). I did some minor tweaks according to the book source. Snuggums (talk / edits) 22:10, 28 November 2014 (UTC)
• The quote from O'Brien on Madonna's style comes in somewhat abruptly after her one on negative stereotypes. Try introducing it with something like "She also said of the singer" after the end of the stereotypes quote
• "listening to Madonna's music was a good way to start"..... it would more neutral and encyclopedic to say helped her start
• See note in lead regarding the people O'Brien interviewed

Release and reception

• "It was released a month later in the United States"..... this isn't supported by any citation given, and October is two months after August, and not one.
• "faced considerable media coverage" → "was widely covered in media"
• "noted a major flaw in the writing of the book, repetition of generally known events surrounding Madonna's life"..... that phrasing is not neutral
• "far inferior than"..... to
  • Agreed on all points, corrected all.

Publication history

• Two of the Amazon refs do not support the dates used; FN10 says August 27, 2007 and not September 1, 2007; FN11 says December 30, 2008 and not October 18, 2007

References

• Publisher for The Guardian is Guardian Media Group
• Publisher for The Daily Telegraph is Telegraph Media Group

Further reading

• Like Binksternet said in Talk:Madonna: Like an Icon/GA1, this section is best removed altogether as none of the listings here have anything to do with this book- they're only other Madonna biographies

Overall

• Well-written?: Not quite
• Verifiable?: Four sources used do not support the information they are used for
• Broad in coverage?: All major aspects are included
• Neutral?: Almost
• Stable?: Nothing of concern
• Illustrated, if possible, with images?: Both images have suitable captions, appropriate licensing, and are relevant
• Pass or Fail?: Needs some work, but nothing of major concern. On hold for seven days. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:42, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

@SNUGGUMS: I responded to all. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 18:30, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

GA :D! Snuggums (talk / edits) 22:10, 28 November 2014 (UTC)