Talk:Lycorma meliae/GA1
GA Review edit
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 11:46, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
Comments edit
There's little wrong with this short but well-constructed article. I have a few mainly small textual comments. I've made a couple of very small fixes in the lead.
- " a separate species, Lycorma olivacea" ... why not say L. olivacea, as the genus has already been named.
Done
- Masayo Kato is overlinked in the lead; the second instance should just use the surname.
Done
- "will undergo", "will vary", "will develop", "will lay", etc: please drop all the "will"s as redundant and distracting. The eggs develop, period.
Done
- "follows a hemimetabolous life cycle.[5] This means that L. meliae experiences a series of incomplete metamorphoses that gradually change the body's structure over successive molts.[6] L. meliae does not experience a pupal stage.[7]" ... is an exercise in redundancy, as hemimetabolism = incomplete metamorphosis = gradual molts and no pupa. Suggest we melt the whole claim down to one sentence, something like "is hemimetabolous, meaning that at each molt, the next stage (instar) becomes more like the adult."
Done
- Suggest you gloss Melia azedarach with "The tree" or perhaps better "The chinaberry tree".
Done
- There is no image in the ecology section. Why not use a photo of the chinaberry tree, captioned "The host plant" or some such?
Done
- The Description uses "color" six times; only in "a series of color changes" is the word necessary. So for instance "from a brown to black color" is better and shorter as "from brown to black".
Done
- An image of an early instar would be desirable; you could place an image request for one such. Obviously this is outwith the GA criteria.
Done
- "native solely to" => "endemic to"
Done
- "Owing to their name as planthoppers": no, this isn't the cause of their locomotory habit. Perhaps "As the name planthopper suggests,"
Done- cut
- "In total, L. meliae goes through 5 life stages." --- this is not wrong but is confusing. The formulation in the lead, that there are 4 instars before adulthood, is better.
Done
- "is referred to as 'sooty mold'" => "is called 'sooty mold'".
Done
- Taxonomic classification (is that redundant?) places ... L. imperialis as closely related to L. meliae: but molecular phylogenomics does not, per the cladogram?
Done Cut the sentence. This was more an observation of the Lycorma genus, but I can see how it is confusing. Technically, L. imperialis wasn't included in this study, hence why it doesn't show up on the cladogram section.
- The images appear to be correctly licensed.
- What makes Natural History Curiosities a Reliable Source?
Done I've just gone ahead and cut it. It is running afoul of WP:OR.
- Not sure why we're citing Britannica; it doesn't seem to support the paragraph, except perhaps through the invalid whole-part (all planthoppers do X => L. meliae does X) line of (OR) reasoning. The paragraph "Owing to their name ... through the winter" appears to need fresh citations.
Done, I've cut the paragraph. Britannica was only citing the 'honeydew' term since it wasn't explicitly stated in the other source, in hindsight I should've been more granular with my source. I was unsure if WP:BLUE applied to that.
- The other sources I checked are satisfactory.
@Chiswick Chap: kicking it back to you. I've gone ahead and cut the questionable paragraph you mentioned above. Besides that, most of the other edits I made were procedural in nature. Thanks again for picking this up and reviewing it so quickly!!! 🏵️Etrius ( Us) 19:25, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
- Super. It's a GA. I hope you'll pick something from the list to review! Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:57, 1 October 2023 (UTC)