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Talk:London Road Fire Station, Manchester/GA1

< Talk:London Road Fire Station, Manchester
Latest comment: 13 years ago by Pit-yacker in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 13 years ago33 comments4 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 00:01, 9 November 2010 (UTC)Reply

Images
Lead
  • "... is now the subject of a compulsory purchase order between the fire station's owner, Britannia Hotels and Manchester City Council." I don't think that phrasing is right. CPOs aren't "between" two parties. There's obviously a punctuation problem there as well, as the owner isn't "Britannia Hotels and Manchester City Council".
  • The lead is too short to adequately summarise the article; there's nothing on the operation and decline of the station for instance, which is anout half of the article.
Construction
  • "In 1899 George William Parker was appointed Chief of the Manchester Fire Brigade and asked to report on the proposed replacement." This is ambiguous; it could mean that Parker was asked to report (by a third party), or that he asked to report (himself).
  • "Parker had once been referred to as the 'architect of the world's fire service' and in previous roles had designed fire stations in Bootle and Belfast." What is "in previous roles" telling us here? Couldn't that just be dropped?
  • A competition, with prizes of £300, £200 and £100 (equivalent to £23913, £15942 and £7971 today) ...". Two problems with this, the first of which is when is today? The second is that the conversions are misleadingly precise; they need to be made no more precise than the amounts they're converting. For instance, £24,000 rather than £23,913.
Operation
  • "... and a gas meter testing station on London Road. The coroner's court and gas testing station ...". Which was it, a gas meter testing station (probably ought to be gas-meter testing station anyway, as it's called in the legend to the layout schematic) or a gas testing station?
  • "The coroner's court and gas testing station replaced the original proposals for a public library and gym". they didn't replace the proposals, they replaced the proposed library and gym.
  • "... suspended harnesses to allow the horses to be harnessed quickly". What horses? This is the first we've heard about horses.
  • "The fire station was also built with foresight; the bays were wide enough to take motorised fire appliances." This doesn't quite work for me. It was built with foresight, rather designed with foresight? What size blocks of foresight were delivered on-site? What bays?
  • "The fire station had a 130-foot (40 m) hose-tower ,,,". Should "hose-tower" be hyphenated? It isn't in the image caption, needs to be consistent.
  • "... whilst at the other end air was extracted from the stalls". The other end of what?
  • "... an extension built in the yard to relieve the control room". To relieve the control room of what?
  • "In 1955 the interior of the building was refurbished. As a result of an annual spring clean, by the time the building celebrated its Golden Jubilee on 6 October 1956, the outside of the building was still in pristine condition." Is this saying that every year since it opened the outside of the building had been cleaned?
Decline
  • "Around the same time the last occupants of the bank ...". Strange phrasing, makes it sound as if people were living in the bank.
  • "The old London Road Fire Station is within the Whitworth Street Conservation Area since it's area was extended in 1985." The tenses don't quite match here.
    •   Done simplified
  • "Although an application was promised by the end of October 2009, the City Council's patience with Britannia Hotels was running out." How do we know that the council's patience was running out? Who has said so?
  • "Is it "City Council" or "city council"? I think the latter, but whichever is chosen it needs to be consistent.
  • "... the city council recommended a compulsory purchase order". Recommended it to who? Don't councils take out compulsory purchase orders themselves?
References
  • Crains Manchester Business is cited a few times, but it's given as a publisher, not a publication. What's the name of the publication? Or should the "magazine" or "journal" parameter have been used instead of "publisher"?
  • Same goes for Manchester Evening News, where the "newspaper" parameter should be used instead of "publisher" to format the title correctly.
  • The way that the Purcell Miller Tritton document(s) are cited just doesn't work at all, as shown by the list of urls in the Bibliography section. Purcell Miller Tritton may have corporately produced the document, but in no sense are they the author. Citations to online documents are better kept in the notes section, one for each of the pdf files. Page numbers aren't usually provided for online documents anyway, as they're unnecessary. Basically all the reader needs to be told is which of the pdfs you're citing in support of what material.
  • Denationalise vs privatise: I may have mis-understood here, but I think there is a subtle difference between the two. My reading of the denationalisation of the fire brigade was that a single national fire brigade was replaced with local ones at the end of the war? Pit-yacker (talk) 00:53, 13 November 2010 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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