Talk:Liz Sanbourne/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 00:29, 29 May 2016 (UTC)Reply


Infobox

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  • The image of Sanbourne needs an alt description

Lead

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  • Nothing to say whatsoever!

Development

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Casting and creation

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  • Since it didn't just happen in the novel, but assuming-ly applies to the TV series as well, I would state "According to the 2001 novel..." instead of "In the 2001 novel..."
  • If I only bothered to read the next statement before writing that lol
  • The final statement in the first paragraph does not have any sources
  • First two sentences of the second paragraph should be combined via a semi-colon since they share the same source
  • I'd remove the "/DirecTV" mention since they had not affiliation with them when the series originally came out
  • I'd maybe explain Rodney Van Johnson's connection to the show when you introduce him and his opinion

Characterization

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  • Absolutely nothing! :)

Storylines

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Lineage and personality

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  • Just preference, but I would introduce Julian Crane with his job, title, or position, such as if he was a businessman, I'd say "... a relationship with businessman Julian Crane..." or he was a doctor, I'd say "... a relationship with doctor Julian Crane..."
  • The statement "Alistair Crane raped Liz in Julian's apartment while he was passed out in a drunken stupor in the same room" is unclear on who the "he" was in the situation; was Alistair the one passed out or was Julian the one passed out?
  • Last sentence has not source

2001–02: Early appearances

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  • I don't know if you need to mention that Kelli McCarty played Beth Wallace since you didn't mention who played Brian O'Leary, which would be Christopher Douglas by the way...
  • Rest is really, really good! :)

2002–06: Revenge against Eve and Alistair

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  • Change to "In 2002, Liz returns to Harmony in response to a telephone call from Diana; she tells Liz about her true identity as Sheridan, her engagement to Luis, and Antonio's terminal illness.[19]" please; in this case it would be clear who the "she" is since Liz immediately follows the mention of the supposed "she"
  • Same thing with the mention of Rodney Van Johnson playing T. C. Russell
  • What happens to Liz after she "accidentally drinks poisoned punch"?
  • I don't know, but I guess after reading ""You are going to make love to me, or I'll kill you" and then stabs him in the back when he does not comply.", I expected that Julian was now dead, but his continually mention in the article proves otherwise. I haven't watched the show that much, so could you clear this up to prevent further confusion?
  • The last two sentences in this section needs some reliable references to confirm what they're stating
  • Removed the sentences as there was not way to source and they bordered on speculation either way.

Reception

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Paragraph 1

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  • I think the first two paragraphs could be combined. Just remove the double-enter in between them.

Paragraph 2

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  • Nothing but the note I mentioned above... ;)

Paragraph 3

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  • Anything else you could bring up or discuss "regarding the slashing of the soap opera's budget by "a reported $4-to-$5 million" to secure its renewal."?
  • I added some clarification. Let me know if more is needed.

Paragraph 4

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  • Nada

References

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  • All of the references should be in a consistent format, and given the language of the article, they should be in Month Day, Year format; please change them the ones needing attention accordingly

End of GA Review:

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What a very well-written article! Like standard procedure, I will be placing the article on hold for seven days! Great work again Aoba47! Carbrera (talk) 21:23, 3 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • @Carbrera: Thank you very much! This is one of the first articles that I heavily revised (You should check out what the article used to be like before I made an edits). Let me know if there is anything else I can do. Aoba47 (talk) 23:09, 3 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
Thank you. It still blows my mind that I can get articles up to the GA level. As always, you have been a big help and I appreciate your comments. Aoba47 (talk) 03:20, 4 June 2016 (UTC)Reply