Talk:Live Forever as You Are Now with Alan Resnick/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 13:57, 4 January 2015 (UTC)

• Suggest linking Wham City; also Dan Deacon should probably be linked in the body of the article too.
• "with some praising the humor as well as the performances": this is an odd phrase. It implies that everyone praised the performances, and some praised the humor too. Should this be something like "with both the humor and the performances receiving praise"?
• "Refusing to himself at first, he decides to anyway": how about "He initially refuses, but then changes his mind.
• Get rid of "seal the deal"; it's a euphemism and there's no need for it here. I think you can just say "before they have sex".
• "The subject comes over to his house to project blindingly bright patterns into their eyes and face": I don't follow. The subject comes over to Resnick's house? Who does the projection of the patterns? Resnick or the subject?
• Are "queered" and "booleaned" nonsense words used directly in the sketch? If so I'd put them in quotes.
• "tells that it was his mother's (Michelle Word) idea": "say" would work better than "tell".
• Why is "boogie-boarding" in quotes?
• "features Resnick lecturing on his pursuits to create a complete digital backup of himself": "pursuits" is not the right word here. How about "telling the audience how to create..."?
• "Expanding upon his television influences, Resnick named Mr. Show with Bob and David, The Kids in the Hall and the Upright Citizens Brigade": I don't know what this sentence means. He mentioned them? What does "expanding" mean here?
• What's the relevance of the two links in the "See also" section?

-- A more relevant picture would be nice, but I wouldn't hold up GA for that. Sources look good. I did some spot checks for close paraphrasing and found no problems. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:22, 4 January 2015 (UTC)

@Mike Christie: Sorry for the late response. I'll try to address these soon. 23W 12:12, 11 January 2015 (UTC)

No problem -- I don't mind keeping it on hold for more than 7 days if you're working on it, or planning to. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:16, 11 January 2015 (UTC)

@Mike Christie: Sorry again for the wait. How does it read now? 23W 05:42, 17 January 2015 (UTC)

The fixes look good. I don't see the relevance of the two "See also" links, but I won't hold up GA for that. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:38, 17 January 2015 (UTC)

I wasn't sure where to put it so I put it in "Other episodes"; please move it if you feel that's not the right place. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:44, 17 January 2015 (UTC)

@Mike Christie: Excellent—thanks for your review! As for the "see also" links, they were put there when the network was just starting to roll out with their parody infomercials. They're probably extraneous now, but I plan to make an article about the series in the future. 23W 20:55, 17 January 2015 (UTC)