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Latest comment: 16 years ago7 comments2 people in discussion
This review is transcluded from Talk:Lisa's Rival/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Lead
"It was written the first episode to be written Mike Scully," Needs rewriting
Already done.
"Production of the episode was affected by the 1994 Northridge earthquake, and features references to films such as The Fugitive and Scarface." Are these two clauses linked in anyway? If not split into two sentences.
Surely it's better prose. Much better than "Production of the episode was affected by the 1994 Northridge earthquake. It features references to films such as The Fugitive and Scarface." which is boring.
I do agree it sounds better your way, but it's strictly a run-on sentence which says "production features ..." not "the episode features ..." Peanut4 (talk) 22:27, 5 August 2008 (UTC)Reply
It's not this place's grammatical rules, it's the language's grammatical rules. I'll try think of a way of rewording it. How about flipping the sentence round, especially since the previous sentence is about the episode itself, changing it to "It/The episode features ... Scarface, with production affected ... earthquake."
I meant this place's rules on prose, and general grammatic rules in the English language. Anyway, I've changed it. Gran223:07, 5 August 2008 (UTC)Reply
Plot
"It comes to a climax during Springfield" I don't think it refers specifically to anything. I would suggest changing to "Their rivalry" or something similar.
Done.
Production
"The Film Roman building used by the staff was so badly damaged, it had to be condemned." I don't think you need the comma. Either lose it altogether or change with "that"
Done.
"Winona Ryder guest starred." I would suggest she guest starred as Allison Taylor, to make it clear.
Done.
Cultural references
"Principally, the scene where Milhouse is at the end of a dam drainpipe, held at gunpoint by an FBI agent resembling Tommy Lee Jones, who uses the film's famous line "I don't care"." This sentence doesn't appear to have a main verb.
Done.
Reception
"They also noted Ralph's "classic" lines: "I bent my Wookiee," and "My cat's breath smells like cat food." I may be missing something, but they noted them as what?
"Classic". I'll change "noted" to "highlighted", so it's clearer.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with our language's wonderful (and all its less than wonderful nuances!) prose rules. Anyway, I digress!! Thanks for your speedy responses, and a nice little article. Well done, I've passed it. All the best with any future improvements on this and other articles.
Don't get me wrong, I love our language, and all it's crazy little rules, I just can be damned annoying at times! Thanks very much for the review! Gran223:14, 5 August 2008 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 14 years ago2 comments2 people in discussion
I found it curious than under the page for Bruce Springsteen's Born To Run, it mentioned that Lisa played a song called "Born to Runnerup". But under the cultural references, it mentions NOTHING of it. Any particular reason why? 173.70.194.24 (talk) 01:01, 1 November 2009 (UTC)Reply