Talk:Lance Parrish/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Muboshgu in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Muboshgu (talk · contribs) 18:29, 30 September 2022 (UTC)
A baseball article I have made zero edits to. I will review this, should complete a review by the end of the weekend. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:29, 30 September 2022 (UTC)
I'm presenting some comments, but the review is incomplete. – Muboshgu (talk) 19:41, 4 October 2022 (UTC)
- Lead
- The nickname "Big Wheel" isn't mentioned or cited anywhere in the body.
- Added citation. 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- I should've been more clear. Everything in the lead should be in the body, so please add the nickname with its source to the body. It won't need to be cited in the lead per MOS:LEADCITE. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:27, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
- We can abbreviate "Major League Baseball" as "MLB". Also, "Major League" without "Baseball" is not a proper noun and should be lower case, "major league".
- Done, though when it's not a proper noun and used as an adjectival, it had to e hyphenated as in "major-league career". I've added the hyphens as well. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Early years
- The description of coke and The Deer Hunter reads as a WP:COATRACK, unless it's relevant to Parrish in some way?
- You are correct. I got a little carried away there. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Link for catcher
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- UCLA abbreviation is present without the spelled out. I usually address this by saying something like "committed to the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) to play for the UCLA Bruins"
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Minor leagues
- I don't know if its in MOS, but I've been taught that it is inadvisable to lead a paragraph with a pronoun.
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- "Struggle at the plate" is too colloquial, and not completely the case as you extoll his hitting for power
- Changed. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Please spell out RBIs on its first use.
- RBIs is already spelled out in the lede. Do you want me also to spell it out on first usaga in the body? Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Yes please. Typically we do it in the lead and the first occasion in the body. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:17, 6 October 2022 (UTC)
- The term "stars" is a bit subjective, and while I cannot argue (as a baseball fan) with calling Trammell and Morris "stars", Dave Rozema and Tom Brookens? I'd recommend something more along the lines of "future teammates on a WS-winning team"
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 04:10, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
earned a reputation in 1977 as the best defensive catcher in the American Association
- this is backed up by the source, but I wonder if you could add more specific info for our readers. The article mentions his improvement in blocking balls.- Three out of four consecutive paragraphs leading with "In [year], Parrish (or Moss and Parrish)" is repetitive.
- The last sentence has one too many "and"s, also RBIs and total bases are not direct measures of power hitting.
- 1977 and 1978 seasons
- Trammell (definitely a star) is already linked in "Minor leagues"
- Delinked. Cbl62 (talk) 15:00, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Per MOS:SEASONS, please fix
In the spring of 1978
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 15:00, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
predicted greatness
reads a little odd, I think the quote can stand by itself with a "Houk said"
- . Done. Cbl62 (talk) 15:00, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Link "platoon" to platoon system
- . Done. Cbl62 (talk) 15:00, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Breakout season in 1979
In 1979, Les Moss began the season as the Tigers head coach
--> manager.
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 22:20, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink for line drive
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 22:20, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Parrish becoming the starter, May sold to CHW, and Sparky's hiring are unsourced
- Sources added. Cbl62 (talk) 22:33, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- All-Star in 1980
- I think it needs to be made clear earlier that the fan voting is for the All-Star starting lineup, something like
Although Carlton Fisk finished first in the fan voting for the American League's starting lineup for the All-Star Game
, with appropriate wl's. - Link double plays, Silver Slugger Award, and strikeout
- Sparky only needs to be referred to as Anderson per MOS:SURNAME
- The richest Tiger ever
- The section header is not the greatest. I think maybe just "contract extension" or something sounding more neutral/matter-of-fact would suffice.
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 22:15, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Weightlifting
- I think the tidbits around Sparky disliking weightlifting is important, as I've seen it talked about in many sources, but I don't think it should be its own section. Rather, it should be integrated into his career timeline. I see that Sparky told the press Parrish shouldn't lift in 1980, so that could go along his 1980 season, and then Parrish's "last laugh" about it goes along with 1982. (Also this link is dead.)
- Offensive rebound in 1982
- Add an accent mark on Concepción
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 22:18, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Link National League
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 22:18, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Slugger and Glove Awards, 1983
- Link to run batted in and use this as the opportunity to introduce RBIs as an abbreviation
- It's funny to me to use WAR in discussing 1983 given that the statistic didn't exist yet. But, I get the point that it is getting across...
- Paragraph leading with "Defensively" should have Parrish rather than the pronoun after it.
- Same comment about fan voting and ASG
- World Series champions in 1984
- Drop the "ferocious hug", WP:NOTEVERYTHING
- Bit of a MOS:NUMERAL issue with "35 wins and 5 losses". Can we present it as [convert: invalid number], which is generally how we present W-L records?
- Range factor presents the same issue as WAR, as a valuable statistic that did not exist at the time. I think at the least it should be noted nobody was rating him on WAR or range factor in the 1980s. Did they rate him on fielding percentage or passed balls in these seasons? Also range factor is not linked and more context would be needed to make sense of the number.
- How did he do in the 1984 ALCS?
- 1985 and 1986 seasons
- RBIs abbreviated once (appropriately) and then later spelled out twice
- Philadelphia Phillies (1987–1988)
- Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 04:13, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
- How much did he sign for? Contract figures have figured in to his Detroit tenure, including the previous sentence.
- Phillies needs to be linked here as the first use in the body
- California Angels (1989–1992)
- Link Angels
- Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 04:15, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
- Anything to say about the 1989 and 1991 seasons other than he started over 100 games?
- Paragraph begins with "he"
- Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 04:15, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
- Why was he released? His performance seems down, but not abnormally so.
- Seattle Mariners (1992)
- Link Mariners
- Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 04:17, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
- Add batting average for consistency with other stats given throughout
- Final years (1993–1996)
- This section is too reliant on B-Ref for sourcing, and is ironically light on stats.
- Please vary the wording, as the first four paragraphs lead "In X month or On X date, Parrish", and the "he" should be Parrish
- Anything on why he was released from Albuquerque or Cleveland?
- Source his purchase by Pittsburgh([1])
- What did Toronto give Kansas City for Parrish?
- Abbreviate RBIs
- The second time he signs with the team, we can just call them the Tigers and the Pirates.
- Career statistics and honors
- Silver Slugger Award is already described the first time its mentioned, not needed here
- MOS:NUMERAL again for the HOF votes
- Combine the two paragraphs on his defense
- Coach, manager, and broadcaster
- Most of these paragraphs start with the "In x time, Y" format
- Kansas City and San Antonio (1996–1997)
In, he was the hitting coach
- Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 23:32, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Detroit (1999–2005)
- Was he let go after the 2000 season?
- No. He was third base coach in 2001 and fired by Garner after the 2001 season. I've now covered that gap with a citation. Cbl62 (talk) 22:12, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Trammell's first name is unnecessary per MOS:SURNAME
- Adjustment made. Cbl62 (talk) 22:13, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- Image review
- The infobox has one image and the article has no others. There are a couple of newer images of Parrish over on Commons. They're similar to each other, so I don't think we need both, but please add one of them.
- Done. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Other
- Parrish was a bodyguard for Tina Turner.[2] That seems like a relevant factoid, given his muscular build. It could also be your DYK hook post-GA promotion.
- Before hitting it big, he was hired for a one-night assignment working security for her. Referring to him as Turner's bodyguard struck me as exaggerated fluff, and for that reason I didn't include it. If you think it's important, though, I can add it. Cbl62 (talk) 23:40, 4 October 2022 (UTC)
- On third thought, maybe you're right. It does tie in with the bodybuilding, and when so many sources find it noteworthy, maybe it's worth mentioning. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- That was my thought. It's not key to the biography so it's not something that has to be in there, but it's relevant and kinda cool. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:47, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
- I hope you will be patient, Muboshgu. I am traveling in South America and have hit blocks of time without WiFi. I'll keep chipping away as WiFi access permits. Cbl62 (talk) 01:21, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
- Not a problem. Bon voyage. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:38, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
- I hope you will be patient, Muboshgu. I am traveling in South America and have hit blocks of time without WiFi. I'll keep chipping away as WiFi access permits. Cbl62 (talk) 01:21, 8 October 2022 (UTC)
- I added a bit about the Tina Turner bodyguard gig. Cbl62 (talk) 22:00, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- That was my thought. It's not key to the biography so it's not something that has to be in there, but it's relevant and kinda cool. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:47, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
- On third thought, maybe you're right. It does tie in with the bodybuilding, and when so many sources find it noteworthy, maybe it's worth mentioning. Cbl62 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
- Before hitting it big, he was hired for a one-night assignment working security for her. Referring to him as Turner's bodyguard struck me as exaggerated fluff, and for that reason I didn't include it. If you think it's important, though, I can add it. Cbl62 (talk) 23:40, 4 October 2022 (UTC)
Status query
editMuboshgu, Cbl62, where does this nomination stand? As best I can tell, it's been two months today since Cbl62 last edited the article, and more than that since this page was touched. Can we get this review moving again? Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 20:10, 27 December 2022 (UTC)
- Good question. It looks like some things are not responded to. Please let me know Cbl62. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:44, 27 December 2022 (UTC)
- My apologies. I was working on this while I was traveling in Colombia back in September-ish, but forgot to follow up. I am heading back down there in a couple weeks but will try to re-prioritize this. Cbl62 (talk) 22:20, 27 December 2022 (UTC)
- Cbl62, Muboshgu, what are your plans here? It's been a month since the last update on this nomination. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 06:24, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- Ok with me to close as failed. I just don’t have time to get to it now. I will get back to this and renom eventually. Sorry for the delay. Cbl62 (talk) 09:54, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- It happens. I think it'll get to GA when you have the time. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- My apologies. I was working on this while I was traveling in Colombia back in September-ish, but forgot to follow up. I am heading back down there in a couple weeks but will try to re-prioritize this. Cbl62 (talk) 22:20, 27 December 2022 (UTC)