Talk:Komtar/GA2

Latest comment: 5 days ago by Rollinginhisgrave in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Nominator: PenangLion (talk · contribs) 04:38, 31 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 04:50, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this article. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 04:50, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

General comments

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I'll be adding comments throughout. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:23, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

Will continue the review when issues are addressed. If you have any issues with them or questions please ask. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:46, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

Not a question, but more of a comment. This article contains a subject that was very hard to tackle on for anyone attempting it due to the ridiculously meagre amount of existing information for research. The prose is comparably worse than what I write now (since I wrote the majority of the article between 2020-2022); the sourcing, though packed is at least 90 percent of all online material available about this subject (some actual information I did on physical research, such as the original wordmark and logo for the building, was not included as no sources, neither online or print are available). I don't mind taking a considerably longer time to fix the article, but I don't want to submit this article for general prose reviews because it's pretty pointless. I hope you don't regret picking up this article, it is a landmine. Cheers, gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:19, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply
Taking more time than usual is okay. The standard is a "reasonable time", do you think you this will be possible? Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 23:03, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply
Of course. I don't mind any circumstances. gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 02:35, 1 August 2024 (UTC)Reply
Okay, ping me when you finish the copyedit and I'll review. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:04, 1 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Prose and content

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Lead

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  • Introduce Komtar tower before noting its height in lead.
I tried to rewrite the first two sentences, but I'm not sure if this is considered resolved. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:28, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • and a central transportation hub does it?
It is, being the largest bus (and future rail) terminal of the city. I rewrote it as "a major bus terminal for Rapid Penang" for good measure. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • clarify repurposed in lead.
Resolved. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • extended the height of the building I assume Komtar tower?
Correct, I clarified it. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • Komtar was also controversial for causing mass urban displacements and the demolition of a portion of the city's heritage quarter, leading to a rise of opposition that indirectly led to the creation of the heritage preservation movement in Penang. If it's controversial it's redundant to say "leading to a rise of opposition"
Resolved. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • the complex was plagued by neglect and dilapidation from insufficient maintenance -> {{the complex neglected
Resolved. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • In its later years clarify
Resolved into "Starting from the late-1990s...". (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • It is also hailed as the last "great national symbols of the 1970s". attribute, unless there's a consensus
I removed the sentence. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 15:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • The infobox is too detailed. i.e. status: completed. Creates the sandwich issues noted in the last WP:GAN
Is it just the line "status: completed"? If so I have removed it. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:28, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
More than that. From MOS:INFOBOXPURPOSE "The less information that an infobox contains, the more effectively it serves its purpose, allowing readers to identify key facts at a glance." Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:08, 1 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Background

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  • Upon the outbreak of the Napoleonic Wars, the construction of a defensive stone canal began, likely under directions from the British East India Company in 1804. two times for when this happened, the outbreak of the Napoleonic Wars, and 1804.
Resolved. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • The canal was 50 to 80 feet (15 to 24 m) wide. as in it varied along the course? Or the information is just very vague?
Yes, information is really, really vague, not just the canal but the entire article. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • The location of the canal, being at the very end of the town, was first noted by the Malay population under the name Ujong Pasir, and was later remarked by the local Chinese population in Hokkien as Sia Boey, both coincidentally carrying the same meaning of the "end of the village" This can be better written, i.e. starting "The canal's location at the very end of town was noted by both..."
Resolved, with Due to its location, the Malays referred to it as Ujong Pasir, while the Chinese called it Sia Boey, both carrying the same meaning of the "end of the village". (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • the area witnessed an economic boom where new businesses were established along the canal. less artistic
Resolved, with In the 1930s, an economic boom resulted in small scale industries such as stonemasons and iron foundries establishing themselves along the canal. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • – Macalister, Dato' Keramat, Penang, Magazine, Brick Kiln, and Gladstone Road is it important for this article that we know these road names?
It used to be (although now I feel it's redundant as well), but now as I intend to split the section into several articles I removed it. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • This background#site section is too detailed. It should be one paragraph maximum.
I will split this section into several articles (Prangin Canal, Magazine Circus, etc.). I will resolve this issue tomorrow. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:25, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • he was immediately confronted with the rescindment by the Malaysian federal government of George Town's free port status edit to make more concise.
Will migrate the original detailed version of this section. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply
  • Article needs a copyedit for concision; a lot of redundancy. See my recent copy edits for examples. WP:GACR requires the prose is clear, concise
Agreed, I wrote most of the article between 2021–2023 when I was unclear about the style of writing. But the nomination has stacked up for so long I've forgotten about it. I will be fixing the article for the next few days. Apologies. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:02, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply

Sources

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  • Boon not a RS.
  • Suggestion: Move Utterback from Journal Articles

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:46, 31 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

Resolved, Boon removed; Utterback moved to Publications. (gavre (al. PenangLion) (talk) 16:07, 31 July 2024 (UTC))Reply