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Talk:Komm, gib mir deine Hand / Sie liebt dich/GA1

< Talk:Komm, gib mir deine Hand / Sie liebt dich
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 3 years ago89 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:54, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Oldest songs GAN that is eligible for review, so appropriate for me to take this on! --K. Peake 06:54, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead edit

  • WP:OVERLINK of West Germany under A-side in the infobox
  • Remove only before "Hand" and "dich"
  • The release info should come directly after the liberties sentence, plus move the German language versions info to being part of the opening sentence instead
  • The release sentence should begin with "The German versions were released..." then following the rest, plus add the US info here instead
  • Done. I began the sentence as "Odeon Records released the German version..." to avoid passive voicing. Let me know if this looks O.K. Tkbrett (✉) 13:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • The commercial performance info is out of order; this should be directly after the recording info of the third para for both countries
  • Remove introductions on Odeon Records, George Martin and Brian Epstein because them being introduced in the body is sufficient
  • "the German market the Beatles" → "the German market, the Beatles" to fix the sentence flow
  • Remove pipe on UK, plus shouldn't this be the United Kingdom since you wrote the United States?
  • "For "Komm, gib mir deine Hand" they" → "For "Komm, gib mir deine Hand", they"
  • "Their subsequent practice" → "The band's subsequent practice"
  • Remove wikilink on English Language
  • Remove wikilink on Europe

Background edit

  • Retitle to Background and development
  • Remove wikilink on the Beatles
  • "On 25 January," → "On 25 January 1964,"
  • "number one in America" → "number one in the United States"
  • Merge the second para with the above one per the short length
  • "conceived of the Beatles" → "conceived the Beatles"
  • Remove pipe on B-side
  • "John Winn translates" → "John C. Winn translates" per the source
  • "says that "The German rewrite" → "says, "The German rewrite"

Recording edit

  • "The tape travelled with Martin and Smith" → "The tape was brought by Martin and Smith during their travels"
  • Merge the second para with the above one per my earlier comment
  • [8] should solely be after the last proper sentence of the new para because it is the sole ref
  • "and the group's only outside the UK." → "and the band's only one outside of the United Kingdom." per my earlier comment
  • Merge the fourth para with the above one
  • Img looks good apart from the missing full-stop, but it is fine to have this be at the start of the merged para
  • "was the first song recorded" specify what this means, i.e it being the first song of the two or something else
  • Now, "was the first of three songs recorded that day." Tkbrett (✉) 13:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "Martin produced, supported" → "Martin produced it, being supported"
  • "from four- to" is the dash supposed to be here? If so and it's a different format of the one at the end of the sentence, change to four-track
  • "as well as Harrison's" → "as well as George Harrison's" with the wikilink
  • "Lennon's rhythm guitar" → "John Lennon's rhythm guitar" with the wikilink
  • "on "She Loves You" he" → "on "She Loves You", he"
  • Merge the penultimate para with the above one, especially in the context of the two days later part
  • "on 31 January." → "on 31 January 1964."
  • "record four takes" either add "of" or "for" after this, depending on which the source mentions
  • now, "to record four takes of 'Can't Buy Me Love'". Tkbrett (✉) 13:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "the joined edit of" → "the combined edit of"
  • "On 12 March," → "Two days after the initial mix,"
  • "and the US." → "and the United States." per MOS:US

Release edit

  • Retitle to Release and impact
  • Quote box looks good!
  • "in West Germany" → "across West Germany"
  • Remove obvious wikilink on Australia
  • "in June 1964," → "during June 1964,"
  • Merge the second para with the above one per my earlier comment
  • Shouldn't you write record label instead of label?
  • "to that song." → "to the song."
  • "They released "Sie liebt dich" b/w "I'll Get You" in America" → "Swan released "Sie liebt dich" b/w "I'll Get You" in the US"
  • "on the North American album" → "on the Beatles' North American album"
  • "for new Beatle material." → "for new Beatles material."
  • Move the part about them never recording foreign versions again to the end of the section, as this specifically deals with impact
  • Is the ellipsis in Martin's quote part of the original or is it added in; if the latter, surround by [] to make this clear
  • It is not part of the original. Added square brackets. Tkbrett (✉) 13:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Remove wikilink on English language
  • "this release eliminates a" → "the release eliminates a"
  • Remove "the album" intro to Something New since this is already known
  • "It remained unavailable" → "The song remained unavailable"
  • "on the 1988 compilation" → "for the 1988 compilation"
  • Is the word "respectively" needed at the end of the sentence when there is no difference indicated for the releases other than the titles?

Personnel edit

  • Shouldn't this be titled credits and personnel?
  • Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Charts edit

  • Remove the sub section because that is redundant when all positions are weekly; mention in the table captions that they are for weekly chart performance of the songs

References edit

  • Retitle to Notes and references

Notes edit

  • John Winn says → John C. Winn says
  • Remove wikilink on India
  • Remove pipes on George Harrison and John Lennon as well as the added surnames using [], as the full names were used before this quote

Citations edit

  • Cite ThoughtCo as publisher instead for ref 16 and pipe to Dotdash, plus add an archive URL

Sources edit

  • WP:OVERLINK of The Beatles on the second source

Final comments and verdict edit

  •   On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but feel free to reach out if you have any questions! --K. Peake 10:50, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Thanks for the taking the time to go through this so thoroughly. I only have one FA under my belt and its in something completely different, so I appreciate your help here. I have gone through and made most of the changes you suggested. See my comments above. Cheers. Tkbrett (✉) 13:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Tkbrett ✓ Pass now, you did misunderstand my comment about the chart table so I fixed that for you and I also edited the lead after the last para stood out as too short. --K. Peake 18:11, 16 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
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