Talk:Kiki Wolfkill/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Aranya in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aranya (talk · contribs) 14:24, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
I can review this one! Aranya (talk) 14:24, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Here are my current concerns on content and sourcing:
- Remove "currently" from the last sentence of lead. Could the year she became transmedia head be used instead?
- Could you clarify the point on the "creative freedom" her parents gave? Bit unsure about what that means in the context of her childhood.
second in Sports Car Club of America (SCCA) Racing
- per the cited ref 2 it should be "Sports Car Club of America (SCCA) Club Racing"In 1996, she participated in road racing competitions in the SCCA and Porsche Club Racing circles.
- ref 2 says this was from 1996 to 1999- I don't see anything from the first three sentences of the Career section's second paragraph in the cited ref 7.
- The conference speaker blurb from Cre8con is the only questionable ref I'm seeing. Could you replace it, for example with the original publication?
- I'm not seeing an age anywhere, so Category:1969 births shouldn't be used unless it can be sourced.
Prose, MOS, ref layout:
getting degrees in Chinese history, broadcast journalism...
-> "getting degrees in Chinese history and broadcast journalism..."drove acquired cars
- should this just be "drove cars"?- Xbox should be linked
by Microsoft in to manage
-> "by Microsoft in an effort to manage"spoke out sexist
-> "spoke out against sexist"- Fortune magazine should be linked
10 Most Powerful Women in Gaming
should be in quotes if the original title is used- "upcoming" should be removed - I think the Tribeca Games Award was given on June 17
- Ref 1 (Microsoft): news
.microsoft .com seems to be different from the Microsoft News news aggregator currently listed - Ref 8 (Vice): Mention of the publisher Vice Media is redundant
Great work on improving this article. I think it's close to passing once the content and sourcing issues are resolved! It's also pretty cool to see a GA nomination that originally started through the Wiki Ed program. I'm going to put this on hold for a week so improvements can be made. Please let me know if you need anymore time. Best, Aranya (talk) 18:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
- Hey Aranya, thanks for the review. I believe I've addressed everything above; the citation issue was me just forgetting I had multiple Ars Technica refs used, and I just left out the (later) story that covered that material. Should be sorted now. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs talk 16:30, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing all the points, the article looks good to me! I'll go ahead and promote this. Best, Aranya (talk) 18:33, 21 June 2021 (UTC)