Talk:Kid Klown in Crazy Chase/GA1
Latest comment: 13 years ago by David Fuchs in topic GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 15:03, 19 March 2011 (UTC) Initial comments:
- References:
- What makes Nintendo Life a reliable source?
- Well, I viewed in the discussion of its usability that Guyinblack25 found some mentions in reliable sources as well as having an editorial policy. I usually don't use Nintendo Life if I intend to make an article a good article; however, I make exceptions when there are limited sources available, or if Nintendo Life provides unique coverage such as interviews that don't exist elsewhere. I will take it down for now, though I'm definitely going to reinvigorate the discussion - it'd be nice to get some finality on the issue.
- What makes Nintendo Life a reliable source?
- Coverage:
- There's enough coverage to pass as a good article; all aspects of the game are covered to some degree, although real development would be nice.
- I've looked around, and unfortunately, no development info seems to exist outside of release and delays that I am aware of.
- There's enough coverage to pass as a good article; all aspects of the game are covered to some degree, although real development would be nice.
- Prose:
- The prose is exceedingly choppy in areas. The biggest issues are run-on sentences, comma splices, and unclear subject/object. I've taken a stab at cleaning some of them, but here are a few more:
- "However, in retrospect, publications such as IGN called it a game with merit to it." → This is an odd way to close the lead, and it's also not mentioned in the body.
- Removed.
- "Kid Klown automatically runs down a path with various obstacles in his way, with the objective being stopping a fuse from reaching a powder keg. " Where possible, removing "ing" constructions will make the text much tighter and easier to read.
- I think that I kept only the necessary "ing" constructions, hopefully.
- The "Development and release" has almost every sentence begin with "It" or a variation thereof.
- I attempted to reduce this; are the changes acceptable?
- Everything in reception should be in past tense, in "Nintendo Life's Andrew Donaldson commented that while not a bad game, there's no reason to play it due to a lack of levels and an abundance of games that do what it does better.", you're switching from past to present.
- Removed Nintendo Life and hopefully replaced any offending tense errors.
- "However, in retrospect, publications such as IGN called it a game with merit to it." → This is an odd way to close the lead, and it's also not mentioned in the body.
- The prose is exceedingly choppy in areas. The biggest issues are run-on sentences, comma splices, and unclear subject/object. I've taken a stab at cleaning some of them, but here are a few more:
- Misc.
- [1] does not seem to support everything in the gameplay paragraph, in particular the number of original levels, how much content was added, etc.
- Can the game's contents be used as the reference? If not, I will remove, as I cannot even find the level count in any reliable source (not even sure how I came up with it anymore; must have misread it).
- If you had the game manual I'd imagine that would be a suitably verifiable reference. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 14:10, 20 March 2011 (UTC)
- Can the game's contents be used as the reference? If not, I will remove, as I cannot even find the level count in any reliable source (not even sure how I came up with it anymore; must have misread it).
- [1] does not seem to support everything in the gameplay paragraph, in particular the number of original levels, how much content was added, etc.
--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 15:28, 19 March 2011 (UTC)
- Removed the offending statement. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 23:23, 20 March 2011 (UTC)
- Uh, which one? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 00:08, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry, I was referring to the number of levels featured in the Super NES version. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 00:39, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- Oh, ok. I'll take another look at the article later today. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 11:58, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- FYI- Here's the discussion about Nintendo Life for easy access. (Guyinblack25 talk 13:48, 22 March 2011 (UTC))
- Oh, ok. I'll take another look at the article later today. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 11:58, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry, I was referring to the number of levels featured in the Super NES version. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 00:39, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- Uh, which one? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 00:08, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
- Alright, I'm ready to pass--with the link provided I have no major issues if the Nintendo Life source is added back in or not at this point. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 17:21, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.