Talk:Julio Jones/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by NSNW in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Kaleeb18 (talk · contribs) 00:36, 4 June 2022 (UTC)Reply


I will gladly take this review using the table below. Julio is one of my favorite players to watch. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 00:36, 4 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
  • brought him up along with his brother as his father left – I'm pretty sure commas before along and after brother
  • Jones finished the regular season with 58 receptions, 924 yards, and four touchdowns. – This sentence (which is in the second paragraph of the 2008 section) needs to be removed as it was just said 3 sentences before
  • Preceding the 2009 football season, Jones was voted to the All-SEC Coaches' Football Team (first team), one of only four players to be voted such unanimously along with Florida quarterback Tim Tebow, Tennessee safety Eric Berry, and LSU offensive lineman Ciron Black. – this information needs to be put next to where this info is first mentioned in the first sentence of the second paragraph in the 2008 section.
  • Between refernces 59 and 60 there is a space
  • and third in catches behind Green and Greg Little of the Cleveland Browns, – Put a period after Browns instead of a comma
  • In the season finale, against the New Orleans Saints, – I think the comma after finale is not needed
  • Jones had nine receptions for 101-yards but the Falcons lost by a score of 15–10 – comma before but
  • against the defending Super Bowl champions, the Philadelphia Eagles, – commas around the Philadelphia Eagles are not needed
  • I fixed all of these. I removed the sentence about the All-SEC Coaches, as the reference was link rotted and I could not find any archives or other reliable sources. At the same time, that team and the team mentioned in the 2008 section aren't the same team. It was a preseason team made just before the 2009 season, so I wasn't sure if it should have been included in the 2008 section anyway. NSNW (talk) 23:56, 4 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
  • Julio Jones was born on February 8, 1989, as Quintorris Lopez “Julio” Jones in Foley, Alabama, USA – according to MOS:USA , do not ever use USA instead choose US or U.S. I personnelly think you don't even need to mention the USA.
  • number 27th overall pick to the sixth overall pick – be consistent on whether you are spelling out the number or not
  • 115-yards in the Falcons 16–13 loss, his first game going over the century mark. – Just say over the 100 yard mark as some people might not understand what the century mark means
  • The one sentence paragraphs at the top of sections don't need to be their own paragraph, but combined with another
  • I fixed all of these except for the one about the draft picks. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in the MOS all numbers from 1-10 are supposed to be spelled out, and anything over ten should be written with numbers. I'm not sure if anything changes when its "seventh", or "27th", but I thought it was better to be safe then sorry and kept it like that. NSNW (talk) 00:00, 5 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
  • what makes Blogging Dirty, StatMuse, At Sports, Crimson Tide Zone on Youtube, SOG Sports, Touchdown Alabama, Spark.Adobe.com, and thespun.com, reliable
  • I fixed or removed all the sources except for StatMuse, and Crimson Tide Zone on Youtube. StatMuse is similar to ProFootballReference, as it keeps sports records of the four major american sports leagues, I don't see any reason to believe it's unreliable. The Youtube video is by the "Crimson Tide Zone", a channel made by the Alabama Crimson Tide sports program, therefore I believe it's reliable, but in the end it's your opinion. NSNW (talk) 00:56, 5 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2c. it contains no original research.
  • There needs to be sources for the first seven awards he received (in the awards and honors section)
  • Spotchecks for refs 4, 5, 22, 53, 81, 97, 109, 139, 157, 175, 188, 203, 213, 239, 246, 268, and 288 are good, but 42 doesn't seem to say Julio was on SEC Coaches' All-Freshman Team
  2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
  • There is a 64.1% possibility of a copyvio with this website playersbio.com Trim that some.
  • Unfortunately, I cannot find the reference anywhere in the article, I'm besides myself on how this is possible but on my end there aren't any references with the website "playersbio.com" NSNW (talk) 02:21, 5 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • hmm it seems after all the changes it says there is now only 32.9% which is good. You can see it at the copyvio detector.com
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  • 124-yards versus a talented Florida Gators secondary. – as the source doesn't even say it, it doesn't need to say a talented Gators secondary. It sound like puffery
  • His performance in only his freshman year drew comparisons to NFL greats – remove the word only. It also sounds like puffery
  • Jones was instrumental in capping a come-from-behind victory – Just say Jones helped in capping a come-from-behind victory
  • catching three crucial third-down passes in an 8-minute – remove the word crucial
  • Jones torched the Tennessee Volunteers for 221-yards on 12 receptions – removed torched and say something more like Jones did well against the Tennessee Volenteers
  • which were good for collegiate career highs in both – remove this
  • He excelled at the 2011 NFL Combine, posting – to avoid puffery just say something like At the 2011 NFL Combine, he posted
  • Overall, Jones finished his rookie season strong by – remove strong by
  • he gained all these stats in only thirteen games played. – this is just puffery so remove it. You could say in 13 game he got etc...
  • As a result of his successful season he was selected for the 2013 Pro Bowl – Just say As a result and remove successful season
  • Over the next two games, Jones continued his hot streak with nine receptionscontinued his hot streak is puffery
  • Despite only playing five games due to injury, Jones still managed to finish – As despite is a word to watch, just say Jones managed to finish
  • Jones started the 2015 season with a strong performance against the Philadelphia Eagles – remove strong performance
  • but scored an unusual touchdown on an offensive fumble – remove unusual and probably change but to while scoring
  • 8-yard touchdown reception that proved to be the difference maker – remove that proved to be the difference maker
  • Jones finished his historic season with nine receptions for 149-yards – remove historic
  • Jones also became the first wide receiver in the Super Bowl era – what is the Superbowl era? it sounds like fancruft
  • During Super Bowl LI against the New England Patriots, Jones had four receptions for 87 receiving yards on only four targets – remove only
  • Jones recorded a spectacular catch – instead of saying spectacular use what The Washington Post said. Say "Jones recorded what Adam Kilgore of The Washington Post called an "iconic catch"... then the rest of the sentence
  • but the pass from Ryan went barely through his hands – Just say something like but he did not catch it because barely seems like original research
  • Despite only playing nine games due to injury, Jones still managed – Just say Playing 9 out of the 17 games, Jones manged
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
  • All are in the public domain
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
  • Remove the picture in the 2018 section as it is already used in the infobox
  • 2015 picture should say Jones in 2015 at training camp
All are fixed. NSNW (talk) 00:09, 5 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
  7. Overall assessment.